re: Q: When to Tell?

I can't keep things to myself. I blurt it out one way or another so I am telling a few people first and then we are really going to let the cat out of the bag. We are telling my in-laws this weekend. Oh goody!

Posted by Mandalynn252    Sunday, March 09, 2008 5:54 AM

re: Q: When to Tell?

The first time that I got pregnant, my husband and I told EVERYONE as soon as we found out even before going to the doctor! Then we found out that our baby did not have a heartbeat and I ended up miscarrying. It was an unbelievably difficult situation especially to have to go back and tell everyone that I had lost the baby. And there's always those people who hadn't heard and ask several weeks or even months later and that just brings all the pain right back. So it is definitely a good idea to wait or maybe just tell one or two close friends or parents.

Posted by Just Married    Wednesday, March 12, 2008 8:15 PM

re: Q: When to Tell?

my husband and i were going to wait until close to 12 weeks to tell everyone, but then around 9 weeks, i broke down told all my family. My grandfather was especially excited, and called everyone he could think of to tell. He passed away 4 days later, and i will always be so grateful that I was able to share our news with him and give him something to be happy about his last few days with us.

Posted by jennterrell    Thursday, March 13, 2008 3:22 PM

re: Q: When to Tell?

My four year old daughter walked in on me while I was taking the test.  She ran around telling everyone that mommy peed on a stick and now we are going to have a baby.  I was nervous about it at first, but now at close to 12 weeks, it seems really funny to me.

Posted by kristajoyce    Tuesday, March 18, 2008 2:24 PM

re: Q: When to Tell?

My thoughts are tell who you want....and if something does happen unfortunately the more prayers, thoughts and support you have.

Posted by futureterrell    Sunday, April 13, 2008 8:53 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I agree with futureterrell.  We'd been trying for almost a year and a half, so we couldn't wait to share the news.  If anything DOES happen, God forbid, look at all the support we'll have.  The way we're looking at it is if I do miscarry, at least we'll know we can get pregnant and will try again.

Posted by 911Lady    Thursday, October 02, 2008 12:18 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I agree with futureterrell, too. This is my second pregnancy- and i'm so worried...my first dr appt is tomorrow. I keep asking myself if i told everyone too soon (did the same with my first). I never put a waiting period on it. The way i see it, if something does unfortunately happen- i'll have the support i'll need to get me through it. That just seems alot better than the alternative of having that pain bottled inside.

Posted by luvsong04    Thursday, December 04, 2008 6:50 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I found out I'm pregnant almost 2 weeks ago. I was so excited I couldn't keep it in! We told our families immediately. I'm  9 weeks now and the earliest appointment I could get is January 6...so I'll be almost 11 weeks! I have faith that everything is going to be fine, but if it's not, at least I will have the support of my family and friends that know.

Posted by lovesher    Friday, December 19, 2008 6:52 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I told my parents and sister when I found out and I am glad that I did because I had some early rough spots and got the support from them that nobody could have given me

Posted by MissTGH    Monday, December 22, 2008 7:39 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

we just had our 1st appointment at almost 7 weeks and so we told only our parents this weekend. i have confided in one GF who is pregnant just so she can give advice and help me with things if I have questions. everyone else will have to wait til after the 1st trimester...it is hard keeping it in sometimes, though!

Posted by BrooklynnsMom    Monday, January 05, 2009 5:35 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

My family is all super close, so there was no way I couldn't let them know.  I waited a few days to tell my Mom, and then we told my side of the family Christmas Eve and his family Christmas Day.  They all new we were trying.  Same with work.  They all new we were "trying" and everyone would ask me on a daily basis, "any news yet?".  I am now at 7 wks and a lot of people know, but haven't completely blurted to the world.  I had some spotting so I was really scared that now that everyone knew and if I miscarry that I'd have to tell them the bad news.  My family has already had a rough year as it is.  But, I had an appt and saw the heart beat and go again Monday, so far so good. : )  If something does go wrong though I know I have a lot of people to give me support though.

Posted by Jacquie_Palma    Thursday, January 08, 2009 4:33 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I personally think that waiting is the best option. I have had two previous miscarriages and the last time the hubby and I got pregnant we were so excited we just couldnt keep it in when i ended up loosing it, It was the worst experience of my life having to explain to everyone and you'd be suprised how many people don't understand miscarriages happen for all sorts of reasons, like my husbands family would constantly ask if i lost it because i wasn't taking care of myself. This time Im already 4 months pregnant and we have told no one other than both our mothers and we will be keeping it that way until 20 weeks when we can say "It's a Girl/Boy"

Posted by ParisPreggo    Wednesday, January 28, 2009 11:50 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

Personally, I am all for telling right away . . .  except perhaps your boss. For work, I would wait until you have a plan: whether you are going to continue working, and if so how your duties will be covered when you are gone. As for the rest of your family and friends, a baby is a baby from the moment he is formed. Even if you miscarry, that was still your child and you are still a parent. It seems to me that the world should rejoice whenever a child is formed, even if they can't stay with us for very long. At least that child was rejoiced over.

Posted by e.sarah.mason    Tuesday, February 03, 2009 9:21 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

Oh, and I also agree with several of the "tell immediately" comments that, if you do miscarry, you have a lot of support.

Posted by e.sarah.mason    Tuesday, February 03, 2009 9:29 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

First pregnancy, my husband and I told everyone right away, we were just so excited. We miscarried at 5 weeks and it was one of the hardest things ever. Although we got a lot of support from friends and family, some people ask you really stupid questions or imply that it was your fault. The second time around we waited until 7 weeks and just told our parents. After we got to hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks we told the rest of the fam. Now at 14 weeks everyone knows and I just told my boss.

Posted by Emiline    Wednesday, February 18, 2009 7:37 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

this is my first pregnancy, and i can't even imagine how people can keep it to themselves and "just a few people", we're just so excited! we immediately told our parents, and some closest friends... some of our favourite coworkers... random people on the street... shh! we're not religious, but we pray every day that the baby stays to term. :D

Posted by burning_television    Thursday, February 26, 2009 2:50 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

Five people know - my neighbor (who saw all the pg books and guessed),  my best friend ( who I can't keep anything from), my sister, and two of our friends who we used to go out with. I am really glad we haven't told the family yet. I am 12wks and we just had an NT scan & blood work. There were some concerns about the scan and we are waiting for the blood work. We are private people and I hate when people pity me, so I would rather not tell  people until we know everything is fine.

Posted by madladybride    Tuesday, March 10, 2009 7:40 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

We found out 4 days ago.  Right away I told my mom and he told his mom.  I called his sister right away, then each of my sisters.

After work I found out he had told all his friends which we had not discussed.   We had only discussed family.  I was a little upset because I wasn't ready for that, but oh well, he is really excited!

I've told 2 of my 120 coworkers and am not sure when I'm telling my boss yet.  I am a teacher so I have 150 students who know that I want to have a baby and are asking me daily.  I'm not sure when I'm not going to be able to lie anymore.

Posted by future mrs. jimenez    Tuesday, March 17, 2009 2:47 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

For our first pregnancy, my husband and I told the world the minute i peed on the stick and found out. Everyone was excited! Everything went well for a long time, but then miscarried at 20 weeks :( It was so hard to tell everyone because it was a 2nd trimester miscarriage. The miscarriage happened bc I have a septum in my uterus. And even yesterday, I bumped into someone I hadn't seen in over a year and they asked how the baby was, and it was a little painful.

But now my husband and I are using a GC and she's 9 weeks tomorrow :) We told close friends (those who were involved in the IVF process--car rides, etc) and our parents, but thats about it. We don't want to have to explain another miscarriage. We are deciding to wait until as far as possible in the pregnancy. At least 20 weeks.

Posted by Ashley.Davis23@gmail.com    Sunday, April 05, 2009 12:49 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

I'm scared to start telling people because miscarriages run high in my family. I was about 10 weeks along when I found out so I know that I shouldn't have a problem but I'm still scared that I'll miscarriage and than have to tell all those people that I'm no longer pregnant.....

Posted by rebelkick05    Tuesday, April 07, 2009 7:12 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

Personally as soon as we found out, two days later We told our immediate fam. After week I told my close friends at work, which are 2. Which has been very helpful since they both have been through it recently and give me all the tips and peace of mind they can think of. As of telling my boss and other co-workers I don't know, maybe in May (i'm 12 wks this week, whoo hoo)

Posted by smile_47    Monday, April 13, 2009 12:17 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

I just think it's a personal choice. We told everyone the first time, and then miscarried at almost 8 weeks. But we had seen a healthy heartbeat, so who could have known? I only regret telling co-workers, because they weren't really supportive.  Honestly I think they were more embarrassed for me than I was, and it was frustrating to feel like a pariah. This time we've told family right away, and close friends as we felt more comfortable and my symptoms have increased.

Posted by Mandalyn8    Thursday, April 16, 2009 8:11 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

i've lost two, the first one to a premature stillbirth at nearly 6 months, and the second was so early i didn't even know for 24 hours when it happened. this time, i told everyone, and everyone i know is praying for me and this little one.

Posted by VivirReirAmar    Tuesday, April 21, 2009 12:54 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

I've heard that once you hear the heartbeat the chances of mc go way down to about 3-5%.  I am waiting until I hear the heartbeat then I will feel more comfortable sharing the news.

Posted by MrsGarciatobe    Tuesday, April 28, 2009 4:26 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I definitely think that it is different for each person.  When I got pregnant with my daughter, I started telling select people at 6 weeks and it never entered my mind the idea of what would happen if I miscarried.  This time around, we waited a few weeks, until I hit 10 weeks before we started telling people.  I think that I would have been a wreck if I spilled to everyone, including co-workers/neighbors, etc and then had to tell them that we had miscarried.  However I kept thinking about how happy I was and that outweighed everything else.  

Posted by sweetyface77    Wednesday, April 29, 2009 1:50 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I have not been telling anyone but my close family.  Well today, one of my friends went to lunch with me and the first thing she asked me was "are you pregnant?" I couldn't lie - so now she knows too..

Posted by josephinebaker    Thursday, April 30, 2009 10:14 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

The first time I was pregnant I told my mom and a few other select people around 10 weeks, then I miscarried at 11 weeks. It was extremely hard but it helped to have my mom's support especially through the D & C process. This time we are telling my mom and my DH's mom mother's day weekend. I will be 6 weeks, if God forbid something bad happens I know I will need the support of my mom and my MIL. I did tell my best friend the day I found out, she has been amazing and has been the level head I need, because I am so so so worried and afraid that something is going to go wrong, when I know in my heart that worrying isn't going to change anything.

Posted by Vuja_de    Wednesday, May 06, 2009 8:18 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

we have only told our siblings.  i'm at 10w today just had my 1st prenatal appt a couple days ago.  we were planning to tell our moms on mothers day however after the appt we decided to wait until the ultrasound in a few weeks.  we will be @ 12w then and will break the news to parents, everyone else can find out in June or due time.  if something were to happen would rather tell a few folks than many and the folks we have told would be the only ones we would turn to for support.

Posted by JassoBaby09    Friday, May 08, 2009 4:27 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

We just found out last week we are 5 weeks PG and we immediately called our families. I am nervous about telling anyone else and my husband doesn't understand why I would want to wait to spill the news. I realize he's so excited and I don't want to take that excitement away from him but at the same time I feel like we are jinxing things by telling more people. I think we will keep it at who knows now and after the first U/S we can tell friends. I'll just let the co-workers think whatever they want (I'm a medical student).  Thanks for all the great words of wisdom!

Posted by kateandjt    Monday, May 11, 2009 8:09 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I told someone the instant I took the test with my first son who is now three months old. But if I get pregnant this soon again? I'd be afraid to tell people because than everyone would give me the whole (You're to young to have two kids and they're gonna be to close together!) conversation. So if I am I might wait to tell people lol

Posted by lilmissladybird    Friday, May 15, 2009 7:54 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

We haven't told anyone, yet.  This is our first, and I think it's just nice to have a little secret between my husband and I for a litle bit.

Posted by sarahebrodie    Tuesday, May 26, 2009 7:48 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

I can totally relate.....I want to tell everyone.  I'm 5 weeks and so anxious to share my secret.  Right now only my mother and best friend know...oh and of course the daddy.  I might wait until maybe 12 week.  

Posted by Caros Wedding Page    Friday, May 29, 2009 7:36 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

My fiance and I are expecting our first! Unexpected surprise, but we are excited now. We told my parents and siblings yesterday 5w5d, We plan on telling his parents and brother today (crazy nervous!).

My mother is silly excited and wanted to call all my relatives INSTANTLY! We are asking that they wait until atleast our first u's at 8 weeks, before they tell anyone. We want to wait until the "safe" time but it's so exciting! That and I figure once we hear the heart beat the more prayers the better!!

Posted by elisabethpotter    Sunday, May 31, 2009 8:00 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

I agree to tell whenever its comfortable for u. I found out I was preg at 4 weeks. My bf and I told our parents first. So far, we've told a cpl close friends and I HAD to tell my work because I've been so sick I can't work. God forbid I have a miscarriage cuz that would be horrible to deal with let alone have to explain to everyone about but at least ill have a lot of support to get through it

Posted by misszombiekitty@gmail.com    Sunday, May 31, 2009 4:00 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

We found that telling some people but not others was almost a burden to them.  We told parents and siblings, then said "you can't tell anyone".  We intended to wait till 12 weeks but caved after the 1st ultrasound when we saw the heartbeat at 9weeks.  

Posted by lvertolli    Monday, June 08, 2009 4:50 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I had planned on waiting but hubs decided to tell everyone at work...so naturally we ad to tell the rents. Then I asked for a prescription for zofran from one of the PAs I work with for the m/s and everyone I work with found out...didn't work the way I planned, but everyone is really excited for hubs and I, so now I'm just embracing it...plus I was able to get an underthetable US at 5 weeks, which made the pregnancy all the more real to me.

Posted by Schaeffwife    Monday, June 08, 2009 5:27 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I think that depends on the situation. I am 7 weeks, and I have yet to tell our son Justus. Mainly because we had a son, Liam, a year ago who passed away a week after he was born due to complications. I want to make sure everything is ok this time around before bringing it to our 9 year olds attention. But the rest of our family knows (parents and siblings)

Posted by april_fraser    Tuesday, June 09, 2009 1:22 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

The first time I got pregnant we told the immediate family (his and mine) immediately after the blood report came positive. Unfortunately I miscarried at 6 weeks. Everyone was so supportive, but this time we have not told anyone except my sister (who is my best friend) and we won't tell anyone until we see a heartbeat - u/s is scheduled for next monday so hopefully then. :-)

Posted by Baybelle    Tuesday, June 09, 2009 5:37 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

I, too, was super excited when I found out I was pregnant the first time. I spread the news! It was really hard to have to go back and tell people I had a miscarriage. So this time, I've told close friends and family, and once I get further along, oh the news will be heard!  lol

Posted by kittyb1975    Wednesday, June 10, 2009 12:16 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

My husband and I got pregnant right after we got married and were so excited that we told a lot of people. At 5 weeks we miscarried and then tried too soon afterwards and had another miscarriage a couple months later. Now, almost a year later, we waited longer to take the pregnancy test (I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 6 1/2 weeks) and we definitely let people know. We figured, the more people that know the more people can cover us in prayer and support us. It has helped my husband a lot because a lot of men in our church are encouraging him with their baby/miscarriage stories. God is faithful and we are excited about this blessing He has given us...and He is in control!

Posted by vanderloopj    Saturday, June 13, 2009 2:44 PM

re: Q: When to tell?

I just found out yesterday!  The day after I got married.  I called my doctor a little while ago and I have my first appointment on July 29th.  I want to tell all my friends, but my husband wants to keep it a secret after I told him that miscarriage usually occurs between weeks 6-12.  I am so nervous that I might blurt it out and I don't know what to do in order not to tell.  One of my friends asks me often, roughly once or twice a month, are you pregnant yet?  I don't know if I can keep it a secret.  Any advice on how to not lie, but how do I not tell anyone until after my doctor's appointment?  I would love anyone's ideas and thoughts on how to keep it a secret

Posted by Jena6121984    Monday, June 15, 2009 9:21 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

It is so hard to wait. I want to tell eveyone. There are several of us girls at work TTC and it is what we talk about most of the time. Most people at work know I am trying so eveyone keeps asking if I am preggers. This is my first pregnancy and I am 6 weeks along. I have told more people than I think I should have but the ones I told were people I all know will be very supportive if I do MC. It is definatly hard to lie when someone asks you point blank "are you pregnant".  I just keep my fingers crossed eveyday that I will have a healthy pregnancy.

Posted by danielleross3@yahoo.com    Wednesday, June 24, 2009 2:56 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

This is our first pregnancy so we are super excited! We told our immediate family at 6 weeks, and I waited to tell my work at 7 weeks (I work a lot of hours so I needed to get those reduced as it was really wearing on me). I completely understand that want to wait 12 weeks though as the thought of a miscarriage is heart wrenching for me. My mother in law is very perturbed with me because I asked her to wait until we were 12 weeks along to tell her whole family. She's not happy...but I just don't want the whole world to know yet, just those closest to me. Hopefully she doesn't continue to be disappointing with my decisions in this pregnancy.

Posted by skittler335    Friday, June 26, 2009 2:47 AM

re: Q: When to tell?

My husband and I told our 6 close friends, his family and my siblings right away.  I felt that I needed the support and someone to be excited with.  Our friends knew we were trying and I didnt feel right "lying" to them.

I think that if you are comfortable sharing a misscarriage, you should share the news if you want to.  I am not going to tell the world until after the pregnancy seems more tangible.  All I have right now is morning sickness and sore boobs!  I do agree it is hard to keep it in.  I tell a stranger every now and then just to get excited with someone.  

Posted by hneiman    Thursday, July 02, 2009 6:58 AM