Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Posted Wednesday, February 03, 2010 5:55 PM

“I was so loud while pushing that the midwife actually told me to quiet down because screaming wouldn’t help...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Slow start

My birth story begins with my husband and me having sex three days before my due date -- we wanted to get things going. I guess it had some effect, because I lost my mucus plug the next morning, which was a Monday. I had an appointment with my midwife at 4:00 pm that day, and she agreed to give me an internal to see if I’d made any progress (I had only been 0.5 cms when she checked me the week before). She checked me and said I was 1cm dilated, not even enough to do a membrane sweep. I was disappointed, but prepared to go beyond my due date since this was my first baby, and my mom had delivered me two weeks late.  
 
I went for a walk Monday night and at around 11:00, I started experiencing what I would soon realize were early labor contractions. I had been having some mild cramping throughout the day, but nothing that I would actually consider a real contraction. I thought it was probably just a side effect from having sex the night before. But soon it became clear that these were definitely different from anything I’d ever experienced -- the contractions felt like menstrual cramps that spread into my back and wrapped tightly around me, and seemed to come and go intermittently. The contractions kept going throughout Monday night, ranging from seven to 10 minutes apart, but they were tolerable. I tried to rest as much as possible, but lying down definitely did not help to ease the contractions at all. I didn’t sleep a wink that night.
 
Progress at last
The next day was more of the same, except now I was exhausted after being up all night with contractions. The contractions were about four to seven minutes apart throughout the day, and at this point I could definitely tell I was in the early stages of labor. They were growing increasingly uncomfortable. I spent most of the contractions bent over the couch or kneeling over the birthing ball, moaning and trying to get comfortable. I called my midwife and went in to get checked out around 3:00 pm (riding in the car was brutal and made contractions so much harder to cope with!). She checked and I was dilated 3 cm – finally, progress! She said it could be anytime, and to call her and go to the hospital when the contractions were “unbearable.”
 
We went home and within a couple hours I was in quite a bit of pain, despite trying many different positions, the birthing ball, and laboring in the bath. So we called the midwife and went in to the hospital. The drive was absolutely terrible, and I remember screaming at my husband to go faster. We checked in around 7:30 pm, and when the midwife looked I was dilated 5 cm. Apparently the baby was a bit posterior, which was causing me the back pain. As soon as we got to the room, I jumped right into the Jacuzzi tub. It helped a bit, especially for the back pain, but I was still having lots of painful contractions. After about two hours I got out and labored leaning over the bed, rocking my body back and forth, moaning and cursing and yelling at times.
 
I started to feel a lot of pressure, and at around 11:00 pm I found out I was at 9 cms! No wonder I had been feeling so much pressure. My water hadn’t broken yet, and although I really didn’t want any interventions, my midwife recommended that she break my water. I was so close and this would speed things along. I reluctantly agreed, and the water was clear, so she gave me the green light to start pushing a bit when I felt pressure.
 
Time to push!

 Pushing was brutal and much harder than I ever thought it would be. By this point I hadn’t slept in 38 hours, had been having contractions for 24 hours, and was clearly experiencing “back labor.” I was physically and mentally exhausted. I didn’t have enough energy to hold my own legs back as I pushed, and the other midwives had to hold them for me. My husband was amazing and kept encouraging me, standing near my head as I pushed, helping me by holding my head forward so I could get my chin to my chest with each push. He constantly whispered sweet, supportive things into my ear, and I really don’t know how I would have made it without him.
 
There were times where I felt like I was going give up, like it was too much and too difficult, like there was no way this was going to happen. But I knew the more I hesitated the longer it would take, so I tried to give it my all during each contraction. I was so loud while pushing that the midwife actually told me to quiet down because screaming wouldn’t help. I was just totally taken over by the experience, and gave in to all my instincts. At one point, as the baby started to crown, I instinctively reached down and applied counter pressure myself to help the head emerge, something that I’m sure helped prevent any tearing.
 
Finally, Finnley
When her head finally emerged it was the best feeling in the world, because the rest of her body just sort of slipped right out. So after just over an hour of pushing, at 12:53 am on Wednesday, August 26th (my due date!), Finnley finally emerged and entered the world crying, at 8 lbs 2 oz. She was placed immediately on my chest as we waited for the cord to stop pulsating. My husband ended up cutting the cord, even though he originally didn’t think he’d want to.
 
A scary ending
What happened next is something I’d rather forget, but I guess it’s an important part of the process. When I delivered the placenta, I felt a huge gush of fluid. I was having a post-partum hemorrhage. DH said it looked like a water fountain of blood streaming out of me. They quickly gave me a shot of pitocin, and when that didn’t help, they gave me another. They pulled the baby off my chest and handed her to DH. The whole time the midwife had her hands inside me and on my uterus trying to get it to contract to stop the bleeding. With no luck at that point, they hooked me up to an IV drip to get a continuous pitocin flow into my body, and called the doctor and nurses in for emergency support. The doctor got her hands inside me and continued to try to get the uterus to contract. They used a catheter to drain my bladder to assist in the contracting.
 
Back in control
Eventually all the interventions started kicking in and the blood flow began to slow. I was in and out of consciousness throughout this ordeal and didn’t really know what was going on, except that my husband looked terrified. He kept kissing me and telling me he loved me but he looked so alone and helpless standing there holding our brand new daughter. He is my strength, and to see him looking scared was probably the most frightening part of the entire experience. He told me afterwards that he thought he was going to lose me, and it breaks my heart that the experience was so scary for him.
 
Once everything was under control, my husband handed the baby back to me and we tried nursing. Finnley latched on right away with a crazy strong sucking reflex (and she’s been a champ ever since!). After a couple hours to recover a bit in the delivery room, we were transferred to our room and spent the early hours of the morning staring at the beautiful daughter we had created. My blood levels came back very low and anemic after losing so much blood (more than 1/4 of my total supply), so I had to start taking iron right away to get them back up. Other than that, the worst part of the ordeal was the swelling from all the fluids they pumped into me – my feet looked like Homer Simpson’s and my fingers were the size of sausages! I didn’t have any tearing, so recovery was relatively easy, aside from the lower energy levels caused by the anemia.
 
Now that I’ve had a month or so to reflect, the scary memories have started to fade, and I’m just left with a feeling of overwhelming love for my new daughter, excitement for what the future holds for our new family, and a sense of pride that I managed the delivery without medication. It really was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m so glad I experienced it. I feel like it was a rite of passage in some ways. Now that I’ve gone through it, I’m a stronger person and ready to enter this new stage of my life.

 

 

> Read more about Acia!

> Want to share  your birth story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.

Comments

re: Acia: Finley's Natural Birth

wow, all that and you didn't tear! this is the first story I have read with hemorrhaging, scary! She's going to be a looker when she's older! Thanks for sharing your story!!

Posted by RachelGrayinAK    Thursday, February 04, 2010 7:45 PM


re: Acia: Finley's Natural Birth

Wow! I feel almost like I am reading my own birth story here! We ate 15 days past our baby boys birth. He came 9 days early and our labor was 12 hours total, but the natural aspect, the husband holding his arm behind your beckwhile pushing and unfortunately the hemmoraging ware part of my birth experience as well. Entirely drug free except the iv's of fluid and pit after baby was here! My placenta did not detach on it's own. It was awful. Husbandwas so scared when I would pass out. Anyway, baby is healthy and we are super in love! Congratulations!

Posted by alia_brown    Friday, February 05, 2010 5:23 AM


re: Acia: Finley's Natural Birth

Thanks for sharing your story!

Posted by dls77    Friday, February 05, 2010 11:30 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

wow! i too remember my midwife *who's actually my aunt also* her telling me not to waste my strength screaming and concentrate more on pushing...in other words, to shut up! haha!

i'm so proud of you for having a natural birth! i think it's really really important to have that sense of accomplishment, which is what i feel now after delivering my baby boy naturally. kudos on the breastfeeding too!

she's so adorable by the way...I hope you're enjoying being a mommy!

Posted by sanlynet    Friday, February 05, 2010 9:13 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Acia, you have a beautiful family, and you are an amazingly strong and brave woman for going though such an experience med free. You should definitely feel proud. I love your daughter's name too. Enjoy that little princess!

Sanlynet, regarding the comment you posted above, I appreciate that you were trying to be supportive and that you feel a sense of pride in having gone through childbirth "naturally" yourself. And that really is something to be proud of. But the way you phrased your comment was a bit upsetting. ALL women who go through pregnancy and childbirth should feel a sense of accomplishment and should be proud of themselves, regardless of whether or not they had intervention. Maybe that's not how you meant your comment to sound, but that's how it comes across to me. I think it's a shame that many women are made to feel that they are less of a woman if they don't have a med free birth, and that the only way to REALLY experience childbirth is by doing it all without medication or intervention. It's subtle comments like yours that perpetuate these feelings. The truth is that the way you gave birth doesn't mean boo when it comes to being a capable and loving mother. The important thing is that EVERY woman recognizes how amazing she is. I don't mean to diminish your own accomplishment, and I think it's wonderful when a women chooses to do it all without medication, but I had to say this because a lot of women who are expecting their first child read these birth stories, and I don't want any woman to feel badly for the decisions she makes for herself and her child.

Posted by mwmacglashan    Saturday, February 06, 2010 2:26 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Wow! What an amazing story!!! You are a heroine!!  What did you mean when you said you used counter pressure which probably prevented tearing??

I doubt I'll be as brave as you to have a natural birth, but it was an inspiring story!!

Posted by lienha    Saturday, February 06, 2010 5:07 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Thanks everyone for the great comments! I had forgotten I'd even sent my story in (I sent it 4+ months ago), and as Finnley approaches her 6-month birthday it's a nice reminder of how much my life has changed!

Oh, and I hope I didn't offend anyone by expressing my pride in "going natural." Childbirth is difficult and life-changing, no matter how you go about it, and every woman should be proud for creating new life and helping that life enter the world safely!

LIENHA: By "counter-pressure" I basically just meant that I pushed back on myself, where the skin was stretching around where the head was coming out. Almost like I held my skin in... Does that make sense? I don't know if that's even a technical term but that was the only way I knew to describe it!

Posted by acia    Saturday, February 06, 2010 6:05 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Oh no! Acia, my comments were absolutely not directed at you or your story. You should definitely have pride in what you accomplished! I thought your story was wonderful and inspiring, and it made me tear up. I was frustrated by someone else's comment, which seemed to suggest (maybe inadvertently) that the ONLY way a woman can really feel accomplished is if she has a "natural" birth.

Posted by mwmacglashan    Saturday, February 06, 2010 7:27 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm expecting my first baby. I'm kind off scare..

Posted by liss3tte    Wednesday, February 10, 2010 9:52 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

So basically you just used your fingers to put pressure on the skin around her head? I am expecting my baby girl in May (first one) & I definitely do not want any tearing, I am trying to get all the tips that I can!!

Posted by ljcastillo    Friday, February 12, 2010 9:47 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Yes, I used my fingers and hands, basically wherever I felt the most stretching (which really felt like burning - not pleasant!). I think it's just instinctive, but sometimes it seems that women don't listen to their instincts and are so focused on listening to "doctors orders." I don't know if it really helped - who knows if I would have torn otherwise - but it made me feel more in control, like I had more control over how quickly her head was emerging. At the very least, it can't hurt! Good luck to those of you with babies on the way!!

Posted by acia    Friday, February 12, 2010 10:26 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl.  I wish you and your family the best.

I must add though that getting your baby into the world is an accomplishment to be proud of but it is nothing compared to being a good mother and raising your child in a loving and supportive environment.   Giving birth is hard but raising your child is 100x harder and 100x more important.  

I hope all the mothers on this site are loving patient mothers who follow carefully and closely the development of the little one's and keep their expectations inline with the capabilities of their child.......Let's put an end to child abuse!

Posted by rhutchin    Thursday, February 18, 2010 11:29 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

How were you even able to be in the presence of mind to apply counter pressure? And why didn't your midwife do it for you? I went natural, too, with my first and was on my back the entire time. It was so painful, I didn't want to move for fear of creating even more pain. Despite that though, I wouldn't change a thing about my pregnancy and labor and delivery, except that I wish that I had seen my daughter emerge. Next time, if I'm in the same state, I'll just have my husband try to push me up to a sitting position or request a mirror--if I can even remember to look into it! What a great story, Acia. You have a gorgeous family.

Posted by SnowyBunny    Sunday, June 06, 2010 2:55 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Congrats on your drug free labor! In an over-medicated society where drugs are the answer to everything and we can't bear to feel the slightest twinge to inconvenience ourselves, it's nice to know more moms are putting their babies health and comfort first. Hate to say it, but giving birth drug free is a bigger accomplishment than having a baby come into the world doped up with his/her mom flat on her back, plugged into catheters IVs and monitors, head floating on the ceiling, unable to feel her own contractions or control her own labor.

Posted by Khrysalis2009    Wednesday, July 28, 2010 1:05 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Wow, I am really impressed and amazed by what you went through with your daughter's birth. I have mixed feelings about using drugs, but I am very scared about a natural delivery. I agree with what you said, it is a natural way that women have always been doing before drugs, and we should be able to do it naturally. Thanks for sharing your story!

Posted by munica00    Thursday, August 26, 2010 1:40 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!  Congratulations on your all natural birth as well. I think it is so strange that most births are medically assisted now...i mean really a woman's body is made to reproduce and there are chemicals released by the brain that are natural versions of the pitocin and epidural. In most births there is absolutely no reason for drugs. It seems that people have been conditioned to think that all pain is bad and must be stopped. Congratulations for listening to your body and letting your body do what it was designed to do.

Posted by joules235    Sunday, December 12, 2010 11:38 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Congratulations on your amazing journey!  Your story is truly inspiring!  My hubby and I are expecting our first in June and I've been debating on whether I want to go intervention free or not and reading your story makes me feel more confident in my body and the whole labor process.  You have a beautiful family!

Posted by MrsOdom2106    Monday, January 03, 2011 12:23 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Congrats on such a rare journey!  I am due in June with my first, and we are planning a home birth med free.  Thank you for sharing your experience.  It really helps some of us who are so new and nieve to all of this.  It helps (at least for me it helps) being aware of things that could happen.  As scared as i am of the pain  my body will experience, i am also curious.  I cant wait to experience this miracle :)

Posted by jenniegurl85    Tuesday, January 11, 2011 4:25 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Amazing - very inspiring, i've shared it with my pregnant friends!

Posted by Mommy Kay    Friday, January 14, 2011 7:29 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

congratulations -- what a gorgeous baby girl!

i think that it's wonderful you had a positive natural birth experience, and i am completely behind anyone who finds personal meaning in that style of birth.

however, i can't help but cringe at comments such as khrysalis'. it would be horrible for any woman to forgo pain medication not because she wants that experience, but out of fear that she or her baby will be "doped up" or unsafe. modern medicine can provide incredibly safe pain relief which dampens sensation without affecting your thinking, or your baby's.

i personally plan on having an epidural when I give birth--i would rather completely enjoy the excitement of the impending birth, and concentrate on pushing (which you can still actively control), rather than be distracted by agony. women have amazing experiences both ways--and this is a very personal decision. it should not be influenced by fear or guilt that having pain relieved will endanger the baby or prevent you from fully participating in your delivery.

Posted by ObLaDi    Tuesday, April 12, 2011 6:17 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

hi, it's really nice to hear your story!  I am 28 weeks now and researching all about labor.  A question as i see one of your pics with the reusable diaper.  Do you recommend it?  I read that it can be reused from birth til 35+, but does the diaper last that long, in terms of wear and tear?  I'm deciding between reusable diaper or just disposable one as i'm working on my registry.  Thanks for your reply and help in advanced.  my email is mathalways@yahoo.com

Posted by mathalways    Wednesday, August 10, 2011 2:32 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

wonderful story I was scared for you and I know if I saw my husband looked scared like that I'd freak out too!

Also I'd like to thank mwmacglashan for the great comment regarding natural vs. medicated birth. I'm due soon with my first child and the comment you responded to actually did disappoint me a bit. It made me feel weak for choosing epidural. Thank you for responding the way you did it helped me regain my confidence.

Posted by lauren01746    Monday, October 10, 2011 2:36 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Your body goes through hormonal changes which include chemicals to induce a natural sort of amnesia so you don't remember much and if you breastfeed you get a few hormones that make you feel good and at peace so eventually the horror of it all goes away.-<a href="https://profiles.google.com/guyriordan">Guy Riordan</a>

Posted by shantelle1015    Monday, October 31, 2011 7:36 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

shame on you Khrysalis2009... your comment was so insensitive and not really true. Pain is not a always a bad thing but if a woman doesn't want to experience all the agony and we have the technology to prevent it that won't harm your baby then you shouldn't look down your nose at them!

Posted by Joyfulnoyz    Thursday, March 01, 2012 10:51 AM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I cried reading this whole thing! I am due in 9 weeks and your story has been really inspirational. Beautiful family pictures. Congrats!

Posted by prissyfit    Tuesday, May 08, 2012 12:57 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

Thank you for sharing your story. I am almost nearing my due date and it's nice to read other Mom's experiences. Glad everything went well for the most part! Congrats to you and your beautiful family.

Posted by littlebabylo    Wednesday, May 23, 2012 2:38 PM


re: Acia: Finnley's Natural Birth

This Is such a great story told, truly beautiful. It's probably the hormones but I just cried all over myself. Not to mention my husband thinks I am losing my mind. lol thanks for sharing.

Posted by brandikaye    Sunday, January 06, 2013 8:05 PM


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