Stuff Every Parent Must Have That You Can’t Find in the Baby Store
By Jill of BabyRabies.com
I type this from my desk, which happens to be perched in front of a room that looks like Babies R Us just puked all over it. It’s littered with STUFF: colorful stuff, loud stuff, stuff that lights up and spins around. Basically, it’s full of stuff that I convinced myself I MUST have in order to keep my baby entertained/contained/alive and make my life easier, which is also to say it’s full of stuff that rarely gets used for more than 3-5 minutes at a time. And, in comparison to the list of things to follow, is all a giant, seizure inducing waste of money. Here are eight things that every parent should have that you won’t find in the aisles of the mega baby-marts:
1. DVR- Call it a DVR, call it a Tivo, call it a little piece of sanity. This magical 21st century invention kicks sliced bread’s ass. Burned into my mind is the sound of my mother’s voice, exasperated, repeatedly saying, “I NEVER get so see the last 5 minutes of my shows! Will you please just leave me alone for 5 minutes?!” Poor mom. You were just a generation too soon. It’s such a multipurpose machine. Baby wakes moments before the Lost cliffhanger? DVR it. Nap time is the best time to catch up on American Idol? DVR it. Bath time is the same time as The Soup? DVR IT!
2. Coffee Maker – Life with or without coffee is complicated for any parent, and I learned quickly that, as hard as it was at times to figure out HOW to make the coffee, it’s infinitely helpful to have a coffee maker at home. Sleep deprivation is just a fact of life with a baby. And, even if you aren’t a big coffee drinker before the kid comes, I’m betting you’re going to be begging for an espresso IV by the time your stitches heal. Do yourself a favor and make sure it’s a very user friendly (i.e. sleep deprived mommy-proof) model.
3. Yoga Ball/Birthing Ball – You know what I’m talking about, those giant balls that are supposed to help with everything from toning your abs to aligning your birth canal. Turns out they don’t stop being helpful after you have the baby. I found ours to be incredibly useful when trying to calm a colicky newborn who prefered the quick, hard bouncing over the soft glide of a chair. As he got a little older, it was a fun place to practice tummy time. I would lay him over the top and softly roll him back and forth. Now that he’s on the verge of becoming a toddler, he loves to pull up on it and practice pushing it around the house. Actually, he pushes this ball more than the far more expensive wagon he got for Christmas. And, the bonus is he doesn’t get a bruise on his head when he slips and hits it on the way down.
4. Crockpot – I was late to the slow cooker revolution, and only recently purchased this Betty Crocker for Dummies device. I can’t believe I waited so long! This is the easiest, most fool proof way to look like you’ve actually got it together and aren’t, in fact, drowning in your own chaos.
5. A Dog – Yes. A dog. They are not only super helpful for passing the blame for that foul, singe your nose hairs, pregnancy gas, but they also make excellent baby lickers. In addition, they are wonderful high chair and floor lickers, too. Really, they will just follow your baby around, licking up the little trail of crumbs they leave behind. It’s quite the symbiotic relationship. If you can’t get your hands on one of these, I hear a vacuum can work in a pinch, but it won’t be nearly as loveable (and there’s no way anyone is going to believe the vacuum is to blame for the gas).
6. A Smartphone – Your child will forever be mesmerized by the awesomeness of your super cool phone (and will probably spend many hours trying to pry it from your white knuckled hands), but that’s not the only reason why this is a parent must have. Even if you choose not to pay for the internet connection that can come with these phones, the daily organizer and alarm features alone are enough to make your life easier. It’s the best way to keep track of all the upcoming doctor’s appointments, play dates, birthday parties, and even a great way to schedule some “mommy only” time.
7. Patience – Boy…how I wish they DID sell this in baby stores because it can certainly be hard to find. Truth is, though, it’s probably the most valuable parent must have there is. The saying “this too shall pass” has never meant more to me than it does now. It seems like there is always something to overcome; colic, growth spurts, teething, colds, teething, separation anxiety….did I say teething? And just when you think you are done with something and your child will miraculously morph into an angelic, trouble free being, you are hit with something else. The key is to not wish it away because, in all honesty, three months from now you will look back longingly and miss those newborn days just a bit, even though the screams of colic are still a vivid memory. Parenting is a daily practice in patience.
8. Sense of Humor- Because if you can’t laugh at yourself when you are out in public for the first time without your baby and notice that you have visibly soaked through your breastpads and nursing bra, you will just cry. And nothing is more pathetic than a crying new mom who is leaking breastmiilk in the middle of the video store. Remember, there is no such thing as the Super Parent. Laugh at yourself, give yourself a break. You may even find that you are quite the comedian, especially around the time your baby hits nine months old. Apparently, dropping the sippy cup on the floor is HILARIOUS to a 10 month old (at least my 10 month old). Belly laughs are contagious. Go out of your way to catch them.