For the longest time, it was something that I simply dismissed.  No need to worry about that yet, I’d think.  That decision is months away, maybe even years!

I’m talking about adding another child to the family.  That decision that (no lie) leaves me wide awake some nights, thinking through the pros and cons and counting months on my hands and considering the ideal “child spacing” and did I mention that I am a really indecisive person and this all stresses me OUT? You see, I like to plan things.  Scratch that, let’s just be honest.  I am a control freak who really likes to be in command of my destiny.  I’ve always been the type to overthink a decision, and it comes as no surprise to me and those who have to deal with me (HI, HUBBY!) that I take this decision about having a second kid so seriously.

Everyone has an opinion about the best way to “space out” your children, if you are lucky enough to be able to call the shots and get pregnant when you wish.  Some people think it’s great to have kids less than two years apart since they can share everything and be (potentially) best friends.  Some think a three-year gap allows the older sibling to get lots of attention and be more aware and involved with the preparation for a little brother or sister.  Some people can’t bear to deal with more than one kid at a time in diapers and prefer an even bigger age gap.

I’m not sure where I fall in there.  I sort of want it all (well, surprise, surprise!)  I want my son to be best buddies with his sibling, but I’d also love for him to get lots of attention from us before a new baby comes along.  I’d like him to be potty trained before I get another wee one in diapers. I don’t want to deal with the “babyhood” forever, though… sometimes it seems like a good idea to hurry through those crazy years of sleepless nights and dirty dipes. 

I’m now realizing that we are hitting the time where we have to decide.  My son will be two in early June.  If we don’t get busy soon, he won’t have a little bro or sis until he’s nearly three.  And that’s all arrogantly assuming that we will just conceive right away and the pregnancy will proceed smoothly.  I guess this is one of those things you just have to jump into with a little faith.  Funny enough, it was easier to decide to conceive our first baby, but I was naïve back then and didn’t quite realize how much effort and time it takes to be a good mom.  Silly me.  J

What’s your take on spacing out your kids?  What do you think will work (or has worked) for your family?  Has your view changed since you have had kids? I’m all ears!

Kelly Fodel is a freelance writer and mommy to Aiden, who turns 2 this June.  Check out Kelly’s blog at www.kellybeans.wordpress.com