The Quintessential Rookie Mom

Posted Monday, May 04, 2009 10:50 AM

By Whitney Moss, co-author of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook and the indispensible website RookieMoms.com 

 Sunday afternoon, at the BBQ of a friend, I had the chance to talk to a species of person that is becoming increasing rare in my circle of friends: a true rookie mom.  Chelsea (not her real name) is expecting her first baby in August, and I’m guessing she’s about 37 years old.  She leads a busy, adventurous life – traveling, starting companies and selling them to larger companies, volunteering to fight poverty, and now, making lists of things to buy at Babies R Us.

“Oy vey,” I thought to myself, “is she in for a shock.”  It’s not that I don’t think that Chelsea will be an amazing parent and that her baby will not bring happiness to her and her husband, it’s just that I can see the potential freak-out signs on the wall.  This is a person who is used to doing things her way, on her schedule, with rational and logical planning. Now, I could be wrong, and I’ll give this unborn baby the benefit of the doubt, but there is a chance – just a chance – that the baby will not understand Chelsea’s way of living.  All that sleeping in a continuous 8-hour shift, and her customary method of keeping her breasts inside her bra for most of the day.  And what about peaceful newspaper reading?

It’s not that she won’t be able to enjoy her Sunday Times. It’s just that she may have to do it when the baby is sleeping or in a relaxed mood – and she won’t get to decide when that time slot begins or ends.

When I was a rookie mom, I was over and over again astounded by the fact that newborn poop could escape from the diaper.  And my husband – he was simply unable to believe that the diaper had been fastened properly.  “These things must not be designed correctly!” we would say to each other.  I am guessing something to that effect will come out of Chelsea’s mouth in a few months. Along with some 4-letter words, and maybe a few tears as she realizes that she has been a victim of a poop-splosion and that she has to go back inside the house, change the baby’s entire outfit, rinse out the dirty one, and, er, change her own pants, before she can resume her journey to drop the little angel off at her nanny share arrangement.  Therefore, she will be 20 minutes late to work.

We all adjust though, don’t we? We realize that we can indeed get to work on time, enjoy our reading, and even minimize the fallout from diapers gone wrong.  It just takes practice.