I've Got Dreams

Posted Wednesday, May 13, 2009 11:23 AM

By Melissa of the popular online blog, Melissa the Mouth 

Our Sweet Pea has never been much of a sleeper.  It’s been a long – and practically fruitless – road of ‘sleep training’ for our family.  I’ve read every book, Googled dozens of variations on “kid won’t sleep,” and prayed nightly to the sleep Gods, and still… no sleep for the sleepy.  Sleepy being me, because Pea?  It would appear that the child needs no sleep to function.  And function highly, I might add…

Funny, I always thought she was a decent sleeper.  Until Coco, her little sister, came along.  Now that kid can sleep.  Naps.  Bedtime.  I kiss her on her forehead, place her in her crib, and she rolls over, says, “night-night,” and it’s light’s out.  It’s fair to say that we got pretty lucky with Coco and her sleep habits.  I just wish she’d be kind enough to share her tips with her big sis.  Because clearly I have no clue what I’m talking about…

We’ve been through it all with Pea in the last few months.  She’s insisted on sleeping in her tee-pee.  Or on the floor next to her bed.  Then, there was the nesting phase, which took place on the floor next to our bed – a mess of blankets and pillows piled up next to the puppy’s kennel.  And after that got to be enough for her, she’d sneak into our bed, and we’d wake up with scratch marks and tiny feet in our faces.  We’ve offered bribes, prizes.  But no matter where she ultimately decides to lay her head at night, one thing is guaranteed – she’s going to come marching out of her room at 11:00 at night, stomp up the stairs, all the while making an awful moaning-whining sound.  It’s enough to send my heart racing.

And then, just when I think I can’t take it any more, she stays in her room.  For the whole night.  The entire 12 hours, from 7:30pm to 7:30am.  So you’d think I’d be well rested, right?  That’d be logical.  But, no.  So accustomed that I’ve become to her sleepy-time antics that I was up, for a good chunk of the wee morning hours, waiting for it.  Just waiting…  And waiting…  And then?  Waiting some more…

Silence.

And so can you just guess what this mama did?  Snuck into her room, several times during the course of the night, to make sure she was okay.  Like when she was a baby, and I’d crouch down on the floor next to her, asleep in her crib, and watch the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest as she slept, careful not to wake her, but determined for some peace of mind that this tiny little thing was all right.  My mom tells me she did the same with me when I was a newborn, only it was a compact mirror held under my nose, searching for the appearance of my steamy little exhale on the glass.

Some things just never change.  New generation, new tactics, same goal in mind:  our kids are all right. 

I see years of this ahead of us.  Worrying about them the night of their first sleepover party at someone else’s home.  Missed curfews during the high school years.  College nightlife.  Perhaps moving to another state and starting a family there.  The thoughts make my heart skip a beat.  I did it to my own mother.  Will my girls do it to me?  Probably.  And so?  When Pea comes stomping up the stairs at night, 11:00 sharp?  We usually end up snuggling on the sofa for a little while, before I take her by her hand and lead her back to her own bedroom.  I just want to remember these times, when the girls are so young and full of love and innocence and their hair smells as sweet as they are.  I have plenty of time for sleep in the future.  But right now?  I’m going to let go and let the sleep God…