Have Baby, Still Travel

Posted Friday, January 29, 2010 1:36 PM

By Corinne McDermott of Have Baby Will Travel

I’m one of those annoying personality types that has it all figured out before it actually happens. Now by it, I mean anything... a new hobby, a task around the house, having a baby...  you get the idea.  During my first pregnancy I was certain that neither my baby nor me nor my house would be messy, breastfeeding would be a breeze, and the pounds would simply just melt away, mostly because I’d be out and about so often with my adorable and easy baby girl.  I devoured every new parent book I could get my hands on, and considered myself fully prepared for life as a new mom.

Imagine my surprise when almost none of that happened.  I retained nothing from the myriad of books I’d pored through, and who has the time to read when there’s a newborn in the house? In hindsight my daughter was an easy baby, but motherhood was not easy for me.  I battled a fairly severe case of the baby blues; breastfeeding got off to a rocky (and painful) start, and the frigid temperatures made me terrified to take her outside.  Even as the brutal winter eased a bit, the idea of a simple walk around the block was enough to send me panicking instead of packing the diaper bag.  If going out the door was so tough, how on Earth could we manage to go out of the country?  Were my traveling days done?

Travel was such a big part of my life pre-baby.  While I was pregnant I was certain that I could manage anything and everything and of course we’d still travel once the baby came.  But I come from a family of worrywarts, and they simply could not believe I’d consider taking the baby away with us:  “What if something happens?!”  But the fantasy of an idyllic week on the beach with my husband and daughter was enough to quell the naysayers, and I set about in earnest to plan a vacation before my maternity leave was over.

Was it easy? No. Was it relaxing? Not exactly. Would I do it again? Yes, a million times over.  In fact, at having just-turned -4 my daughter has been on eight trips and my 8-month-old son has been on three.  We’re leaving on our next one in just a few weeks.  It was tough getting organized and psyched up to do it, but I could not imagine not having travel be a part of our lives.  It’s daunting and it’s different, but for us it’s so much better.

 

Corinne McDermott is the founder of Have Baby Will Travel – your guide to family travel with babies and toddlers.  Connect with her online at www.havebabywilltravel.com or www.twitter.com/hvbabywilltrvl

 

How Would You Spend Your Last Day?

Posted Friday, January 29, 2010 1:17 PM

by Abigail Green of “Diary of a New Mom”

The other day another blogger posed the question to her readers, “What would you do if you only had a day to live?” Now, it just so happens that I think about this question a lot. Except in my scenario, I usually have 6 mos. to a year left. Morbid? Maybe, but I think thoughts of mortality go hand-in-hand with motherhood.

One of my friends developed a fear of flying when she became pregnant. It didn’t matter if it was her or her husband on the plane, she was terrified of it going down. For my mother, it was a fear of driving that came along with pregnancy—or rather, riding in a car with someone else and not being in control of the vehicle. My husband will tell you I’ve always had this fear, but it has been magnified 100x since I had a baby.

Maybe it’s because of some hard-wired survival instinct. Maybe it’s because I know so many people with cancer. Maybe it’s because so many awful things are happening in the world. Or maybe it’s because I watch too much TV. Who knows? The point is, I think about dying a lot.

Here’s the thing: if I knew I was going to die soon, I wouldn’t do that much differently. I would spend my days much the same way I do now, although with less concern about my appearance and more take-out. Also, I’d probably insist that my husband take more time off work. I mean, since I’m dying and all.

I’d spend most of the time at home in my PJs with my boys. We’d snuggle on the couch, read books, watch movies, wrestle on the floor, play games. Well, maybe not games. My 3-y.o. is kind of a sore loser. Puzzles, then.

When we felt like going out, we’d walk to the park, feed the ducks, play on the playground, and have a picnic. I’d let the baby crawl around on the ground and get dirty. I figure someone else can worry about the laundry after I’m gone. I’d take lots and lots of pictures and videos and insist that someone else take some so I could be in the shot, even if my hair wasn’t looking so hot and I never did get around to whitening my teeth.

Back at home, we’d order food from wherever we wanted. Maybe I’d make cookies with the kids but that’s all the food preparation I’d do. And certainly no dishes. Then we’d put on music and have a family dance party. (Side note: my 10-m.o. can really DANCE. Every time some music comes on, even if it’s his musical toy turtle, he starts bouncing up and down. The kid’s got rhythm already!)

I’d make sure my husband knew where to find everything I’ve written and the kids’ baby books (OK, the half a baby book I did for my older son). And I’d call my parents and close friends and family. Maybe I’d even have a big party for everybody. I’m assuming they’d clear their calendars, but people ARE busy these days… Would I hold a grudge if someone opted to Skype in instead of showing up in person?

Anyway, I guess it’s a good sign that I wouldn’t have to drastically overhaul my life if I found out I didn’t have much time left. But I try not to think about it TOO much. After all, as far as I know I’ve got all the time in the world. And those dishes aren’t going to wash themselves.

Abigail Green is a freelance writer and mom to two boys, ages 3 years and 10 mos. She blogs about the lighter side of life, writing, parenting, and more at http://diaryofanewmom.blogspot.com/.

 

I’m holding out on the Mom Jeans

Posted Friday, January 29, 2010 12:46 PM

By Maureen, from her popular online blog, Dr. Maureen

 

Although I live in a cold climate, I own remarkably few sweaters. And I am cold. So for Christmas this year, I told Andrew what I needed, and he passed it along to his mom. Thus it was that on Christmas afternoon, I gratefully opened box after box of cotton pullovers and cardigans along with a few long-sleeved t-shirts.

 

“This is awesome!” I said, and I meant it. Because, as I said, I am cold. But then I got home and tried them all on. You know what I discovered? I discovered that if your main criterion for clothes is that they be machine-washable, you end up with a pile of Mom Clothes.

 

But that, my friends, is my lot in life right now. It makes no sense whatsoever to wear a cashmere sweater so long as my shoulders continue to act as Nora’s personal hankies. I can’t afford the dry-cleaning bill.

 

In the meantime, I will keep warm in my Mom Sweaters and dream of the coming days of summer, when I’ll be able to wear cotton t-shirts that are supposed to be machine-washable and still look somewhat fashionable, provided the “Shoulder Snot Stains” look comes back around. Fashion is cyclical, right?

Goodwill Toward Moms

Posted Friday, January 08, 2010 3:12 PM

by Abigail Green of Diary of a New Mom

 

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot in the media about “mom-bashing.” That is, people being judgmental and rude to mothers for reasons ranging from how they dress their babies to how they discipline their kids in Walmart. And please -- don’t even MENTION the word “breastfeeding” unless you want an all-out riot.

 

It should come as a surprise to no one that much of this behavior is happening online. The great thing about the Internet is that it allows people to connect and share information. The bad thing is that since it’s often anonymous, people say things they’d never say to someone’s face.

 

But I’d just like to say, that hasn’t been my experience at all. Online and in real life, I haven’t found most people to be patronizing, condescending, meddling, or any other negative “ing” word you can think of. I just haven’t.

 

Of course, I’ve heard plenty of stories about moms getting the evil eye for nursing in public or for feeding their newborn formula. I’ve heard of elderly women berating new moms for not putting a hat on their baby and mothers-in-law making critical comments about a new mom’s weight. But that hasn’t been my experience.

 

In fact, for every old man who gives our family a dirty look in church, there are 3 people on a plane who congratulate my kids on their good behavior. For every impatient person waiting for my parking spot while I pack up a stroller and buckle 2 car seats, there are half a dozen check-out clerks who tell me how cute my baby is.

 

But it goes both ways. I need to remember this those times I’m (silently) judging another mom for letting her child cross the street without holding hands or giving her baby a lollipop.

 

One time I had to physically restrain myself from going up to a very pregnant woman buying formula at Babies R Us. “Don’t you even want to TRY nursing first?” I was going to tell her. “It’s not that hard for a lot of people. I could help you!” How obnoxious is THAT? I don’t know her life. And there I was making assumptions, ready to offer myself as her own personal, unsolicited lactation consultant? Fortunately, I came to my senses and left this woman alone. Although if she HAD asked me for advice, I would have given it freely!

 

Anyway, my point is that yes, if you want to claim mom-bashing is an increasing trend, you can certainly find plenty of examples. If you think that all moms judge each other and believe their way’s the best way, I’m not going to argue.

 

But I WILL point out that there are plenty of nice, non-judgmental people out there, ready to offer support and encouragement to us moms. Maybe in the coming year you could be one of them. I know I’m going to try.

 

Abigail Green is a freelance writer and mom to two boys, ages 3 years and 10 mos. She blogs about the lighter side of life, writing, parenting, and more at http://diaryofanewmom.blogspot.com/

Three-year-olds: A PSA

Posted Friday, January 08, 2010 3:08 PM

By Maureen, of the popular online blog, Dr. Maureen

 

One of my nephews – I think I call him “Elfin Nephew” – has an oppositional personality. Fortunately, his mother happens to be a family therapist and knows how to deal with oppositional children, and we’ve witnessed her spending the last six years saying things like, “Oh, you can’t get dressed in five minutes. No way. It’s too hard.” Jack, however, is not oppositional. We were always able to get him to do stuff by issuing the challenge and assuming he CAN do it, and, for the first three years of his life, that worked. OK, so really for the last year and a half; we didn’t issue him many challenges when he was a newborn, but you get the idea.

 

And then he turned three, and my life devolved into a daily power struggle about everything from wearing pants to eating breakfast to putting on his coat to sitting on the potty. ESPECIALLY about sitting on the potty. But one day my sister was here to witness one of the potty battles, and intervened. “Jack,” she said, “I bet you can’t pee before I count to ten.” The fight Jack and I were about to have vaporized and he rushed to sit on the potty. WHILE GIGGLING. My sister looked at me, sitting there slack-jawed in amazement, and said, “He may not be oppositional, but THREE is oppositional.”

 

Our lives changed for the better at that point. At least for a while. For a few golden weeks, maybe even a month or two, we were able to avoid power struggles by turning all requests into a race (as in, “I bet you can’t get your coat on before I do!”) or a challenge (as in, “I guess you can’t put your pants on yourself, huh. It’s too hard.”), and BAM! He’d do it! It was like magic.

 

Sadly, we seem to have worn out this particular trick. Nowadays when we try it, he yells, “NO RACES!” or else “Yeah, it’s too hard.” So we’re back to counting and threatening – and then going through with – time outs. It’s a thrill ride, believe me. Oh, and the timer. I’ve started using the timer to say things like, “We have to be dressed by the time the timer goes off, or we can’t go.” And then I have to pray he doesn’t call my bluff, because, man, I don’t want to stay home.

 

Still, I write this post as a public service announcement to you other parents of three-year-olds, because those few weeks where the oppositional thing worked? They were GLORIOUS.

Our Last Trip as a Family of 2

Posted Thursday, December 10, 2009 9:54 PM

By Corinne McDermott of Have Baby Will Travel

I vividly remember our last trip together before I became pregnant with our daughter.  We had already begun trying to start a family, and I knew this would be our last getaway as a couple.  So of course, we whooped it up, went out for lavish dinners and hit the clubs until dawn every night, right?  Actually what’s funny is we traveled very similarly to how we travel now as a family of 4!

It was a week in a self-catering studio across from a beautiful beach in Barbados.  We ate simple breakfasts on our balcony and then headed straight to the beach. My wonderful husband would go back to our room at lunch time and bring back sandwiches, fruit, and water for a lovely light lunch on the beach.  We’d slink back to the room around 4 or 5 to get ready for dinner.  Then, it would be a casual meal within walking distance before hitting the store for a few drinks to enjoy on our balcony.  Aside from a SCUBA trip, a white-knuckled drive around the island, and a fun night out at the local fish fry, it was a totally relaxed and relaxing trip.

While we were there, I noticed families everywhere.  Toddlers bathed in sunscreen made sandcastles with their mamas.  Sun-kissed preschoolers splashed in the waves with their dadas.  Little tiny babies were hidden under hats and sunveils while saucy tweens pouted in their bikinis (God, help us!).  This, I knew, was our future.

I sobbed at the airport when we were heading home. I sobbed because it was the best week of my life and I was afraid that we would never be able to do it again, at least not for a long, long time. I sobbed because I knew our life was going to change and I wasn’t sure I was ready to say goodbye to the relatively carefree way we lived our lives.  I sobbed because even though I was excited about the step we were taking together, I was really, really scared.

Our daughter was conceived a month after our return from Barbados, and we took our first trip with her before my maternity leave ended.  Did we have lazy days by the beach? Yes.  Did we have drinks on our balcony? Yes.  Was it the same kind of trip? Not at all. It was a lot of work both planning it and doing it but I wouldn’t change it for the world.   There’s plenty of time in the future to travel as a couple again, right now I couldn’t imagine going anywhere without my kids.  I can’t wait to bring them to Barbados!

Corinne McDermott is the founder of Have Baby Will Travel – your guide to family travel with babies and toddlers.  Connect with her online at www.havebabywilltravel.com or www.twitter.com/hvbabywilltrvl

 

Maternity Item of the Week - Nuka Maternity

Posted Thursday, December 10, 2009 9:45 PM

by Caroline, from the popular online blog, Pregnant Fashionista

 

When deciding whether to purchase an item to add to my maternity wardrobe, I do consider a few factors besides the obvious (i.e., what the item looks like and how much it costs).  It’s easy to stock up with must-haves from the well-known brands and be done with it.   But there are so many entrepreneurial moms out there who have started small fashion businesses and are struggling to sell their maternity collections online.  And unlike the young saleswoman at Pea in the Pod who is most likely neither pregnant nor has ever been pregnant, these moms are designing and selling their clothing using their own personal experience.  Whenever I can, I try and buy pieces from these maternity collections, in a small effort to encourage more talented moms to do the same thing.

 

With that in mind, no pregnant woman should go a full nine months without buying an item from Nuka Maternity.  Nuka, a small maternity line founded in LA by mom and graphic designer Julia Noik, uses the highest quality cotton to create beautiful maternity tops and hoodies in a neutral color palette.  My favorite, and this week’s maternity Item of the Week, is the V-Neck Hoodie.  This hoodie has an empire waist with cute button detailing on the front, but has a double strand of elastic in the back to make sure it stretches with you.  It comes in olive, chocolate and black and has subtle ombre shading from top to bottom.  The zipper stops at the bottom of the V-Neck so I will warn you that this hoodie has a definite v-neck.  You’ll likely need to wear a camisole or a tank underneath if you are doing mom-like things like dropping your kids off at school or bringing them to swimming lessons.  That being said, you can also wear it without a tank and flaunt your new assets.

 

       

 

Nuka’s V-Neck Hoodie is available here for USD $110.  I have tried out several of Nuka’s Fall 2009 pieces and if you are in need of some high-end basics for the coming months, view the entire collection and don’t stop at the V-Neck Hoodie.  All of Nuka’s pieces are made with comfort in mind, first and foremost. You’re pregnant, after all, you deserve a few beautiful and comfortable articles of maternity clothing.