Essiegirl's Pregnancy Story

Posted Wednesday, October 21, 2009 12:03 PM

"There it was-- this little thumping, rushing sound. It was a heartbeat going strong."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the beginning
My husband, Shawn, and I lived together in NYC for five years before he got on one knee and popped the question. We picked a date, and then decided we should probably start trying to breed as soon after that as possible. I would be thirty-seven the day we wed. We knew we didn't want to raise kids in the city, so we thought about how and where we did want to raise them. We both love the outdoors and agreed that if our kids haven't either had stitches or a broken bone from some sort of fun activity by the time they graduate high school, then we haven't done our job properly. Colorado seemed like the perfect choice. It was! We packed up our lives and our four legged, furry babies and hauled it out west. I knew I was leaving a lot behind in the Big Apple, but I also knew that there was so much ahead of us in the Rocky Mountains.

If at first you don't succeed
We were happily married on a lovely day in October, 2005, and we stuck to our promise of trying right away. At first, we took it easy and were just going to let Mother Nature work her magic. A year flew by, and we thought it might be time to hunker down a little more. I made a doctor appointment, and we started the chlomid challenge right away. Nothing. Months of nothing. Another year flew by. Finally something happened, or should I say something didn't happen. Aunt Flo didn't knock on my door. Could it be? Really? I took a couple of at-homers and got negative results, but still no visit. I made a very excited call to my doc, knowing that those things aren't always accurate. Unfortunately for me, though, they were, and a very tearful doctor's visit resulted. It wasn't a baby. It was a tumor.

We scheduled consultations and had surgery in August, 2008. Cysts, polyps, and fibroids were removed, but we still had one hanger-on. I named him George. He's a softball sized fibroid attached to the outside of my uterus. Although we're close, we're not very good friends.

After some recovery, we started really trying again. We went through several rounds of fertility treatments and then three attempts at insemination. Still no go. I turned forty in October, and, in January, we were told that our likelihood of conceiving was nil. This was one of the hardest blows I had ever been dealt, and, let me tell you, I've taken some blows in my life. Shawn and I actually mourned the loss. We went through all the stages and came out the other side.

I made a decision to let it all go. Peace had been made, and I figured that if I couldn't have a family, then I would have a fabulous career. I focused and worked hard, and things started to really rock and roll. Some successes happened, and life was beginning to feel good again. This August I was performing in a musical back in NYC. It was great, but something was off. I couldn't catch my breath. I would finish a number and my chest would heave like a bass on the end of a fishing line. I would walk several blocks that I had walked for years, but kept having to stop and rest like some out-of-shape old lady. It was frustrating and a bit embarrassing, to be honest. I finished the run and headed home.

Hear ye, hear ye, read all about it-- the big news!
Back in colorful Colorado, I still couldn't catch my breath. It was beginning to freak me out. Google to the rescue! I searched the symptoms and came across an article that said it could be a sign of elevated progesterone. Progesterone? Wait, that's a sign of...OMG! No, it couldn't be. I started thinking about my last visit from our favorite aunt, and, suddenly, 1+1 was equaling 3! I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to feel that pain all over again. Shawn had no idea about any of this, and I made my best effort to keep it covert.

Labor Day weekend was fast approaching, and we had some friends coming into town. I knew they would want to get their drink on, so I decided I should test just to make sure. So, at 6 a.m. on Friday morning, I crept out of bed and peed on a stick. There it was - a plus sign. A plus sign! Holy poop kittens...a plus sign! I stood in the bathroom for about ten minutes trying to...I don't know exactly what I was trying to do. I looked in the mirror. I don't know what I was looking for. A change? A sign? Lightening? I still don't know. Then it hit me.  This might be real. I crept back upstairs to my sleeping husband and our two dogs and quietly said, "Baby, we did it." Somehow he knew exactly what I meant. There were tears and giggles, and then there was reality. We still didn't know for sure.

We decided not to get our hopes up until I saw my doc. We'd been down that painful road already. A phone call was made, and an appointment was scheduled. I got a call from the doc that day that was very reassuring, but we still wanted to be sure.

Wednesday couldn't have come quickly enough! I got to the office and peed in a cup. My doc (who is the best doc on the planet) was so excited that she forgot to look at the results. She came back into the room with good news, and we did an ultrasound. She warned me that this ultrasound might not be very exciting. We might not see much and probably wouldn't hear a heartbeat; but, there it was-- this little thumping, rushing sound. It was a heartbeat going strong. My doc and I hugged and cried together for several minutes. Hell, I'm crying again right now just typing this. Oh if only Shawn could have been with me! Thank God for i-phones! I texted him right away. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I swear I could hear his emotion in his text back. After all the blood tests and craziness that make up that first appointment, I called my man, and we savored every moment on the phone. It was incredible. Two weeks later, he got to come with me and hear and see for himself. Yay!

Shouting from the rooftops
The timing of everything seemed so perfect, so synchronized! The doc visit was Sept. 9th, and Grandparents' Day was Sept. 13th. Although it was one of the toughest secrets in the world to keep, we decided not to tell our moms over the phone. (They both live in different states) We chose, instead, to send them flowers with a card attached that read, "Happy Grandparents' Day! Can't wait to meet you! Love, Baby Ballinger". I heard a scream on the other end of a phone line as my mom read the card. It was perfect!

As for the rest of the world, well, we thought we would wait until the twelve-week mark and all that hoo-ha, but ya know what? Screw that! I have never let fear govern my life, and I wasn't about to start. After our second appointment, we said to hell with waiting, and we told the world. It was a great decision for us. We felt liberated and wanted to share the glory with everyone we know and love. Hosah!

And now
Well, things are going quite swimmingly. I feel great-- almost too great. I sometimes feel guilty for feeling so good, when most folk I know frequently "called Europe" during the first trimester. We write to and talk with the baby everyday. The sonogram pictures are framed and sitting on the mantel. We don't want to know the sex until we meet face to face (mainly because I really want that old fashioned, cigar passing, "It's a ___!" moment).  We've started nesting and making room, and my mom is already spoiling the baby. We are all-over-the-moon happy and making all sorts of plans. Below is a list we made of the top five gifts we want to give our little bean. And, of course, it's wrapped in a big bow of love, health, and happiness! Life truly is grand!

1) A sense of humor

2) A sense of adventure

3) Unbridled optimism

4) A balanced sense of self

5) Boundless opportunity

 

Doodler's Pregnancy Story

Posted Wednesday, October 21, 2009 10:38 AM

 "When I heard, 'You got your boy,' we were all so excited and happy. At that point, everything seemed very real..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Us

My name is Krista. I am twenty-eight and grew up in Vermont.  I also have a daughter, Mya, who was born on October 31, 1999.  I met Justin in February, 2003.  In the summer of 2006, we bought a house together, and the three of us became a family.  On August 25, 2007, we were married.  Two months later, Justin left for Army Officer Candidate School, and we stayed in Vermont until June, 2008, when we made our first Army move to Fort Gordon, GA.  We rescued a Miniature Schnauzer/Yorkie mix (Snorkie) mix when we first moved there. Her name is Daisy Doodle.  Daisy is deaf but is the sweetest dog in the world.  

After we got married, everyone always asked us when we were going to have a family.  We were pretty sure we would end up having a baby, but we also didn’t want to rush it.  We lied to our family and told them that we were not having any more children.  We wanted to do it when the time was right for us.  

Getting pregnant

We had decided we wanted to get pregnant in January.  Of course, not all things work out according to plan.  We went to visit family in Vermont over Christmas, and I honestly didn’t want to be on my period while visiting home.  I just wanted to enjoy my time there without having cramps and feeling yucky, so I goofed around with my birth control and prevented my period from coming.  I went off my birth control for good on January 3, the day we left Vermont. I knew I was probably throwing off my cycle and had a gut feeling that I would not get pregnant in January, but, at the time, it didn’t seem to upset me.  That was until I got the negative test.  I was suddenly scared.  What if I couldn’t get pregnant now?  What if something had gone wrong over the past ten years?
 
So, we tried again in February.  Five days before my period was due, I broke down and bought a cheap pregnancy test at the PX.  I had just had lunch with my husband and one of our female soldier friends from his class.   We went into the store after we ate, and I suddenly decided I could not wait any longer to take the test.  If it showed up negative, I could just take another in five days.  So, I managed to sneak away from my husband and our friend to buy the test, along with Shampoo.    As soon as I got home, I raced upstairs to take the test.  I was convinced that by taking a test five days early in the middle of the day, after drinking a ton of water and iced tea, it wasn’t going to show up positive, but that I could just take the extra test the next morning.  So, I peed on the stick anyway.

I then grabbed Daisy and waited on the bed with her.  I was scared to look, but I finally went in and peaked, only to see a very bright blue line that confirmed I was pregnant!   Clearly, I am not the kind of person who likes waiting for things, so I decided to text my husband with the news.  Yep, I sent him the news via text message!   Then I freaked out.  What on earth did we decide to do?  I remember feeling very tired, curling up with Daisy, and crying myself to sleep.
 
Breaking the big news

I had already decided that I wouldn’t tell everyone right away, but I also worked at Gymboree.  I was stuck in a children’s clothing store with baby clothes all over the place, unable to say anything about it. It drove me crazy, and I needed to tell someone.  So, my husband and I decided that we would tell only Army friends, which meant that friends and family back home wouldn’t find out.   

We also told Mya, when I was about six weeks pregnant.  I took her to the bookstore, and, after we went in, I suggested we go get Starbucks.  She said yes, and I blurted it out to her.  I honestly didn’t have a better way of wording it.  At first she started to cry, then she laughed, and then she asked me if I knew if I was having a boy or girl, and if I was going to get fat.  We talked about it for a while, and she got excited as we began looking through baby stuff together at Target.

We kept this up until I was about ten weeks pregnant.  At that point, we couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.  When faced with actually calling family, we both froze.   My husband and I could not bring ourselves to call either of our parents and tell them the news.   Finally, Mya offered to do it.   She said the same thing to both of our mothers: “Guess what, I am going to be a big sister!”  Both of our mothers assumed that this meant she was part of a Big Sister program at school.   

The pregnancy

I wasn’t exactly a huge fan of being pregnant with Mya.  I didn’t have any complications, but I was sick!  So, I wasn’t looking forward to getting sick this time around, either.  The first time I did, I was in my pajamas and driving home after I dropped my husband off at class in the morning.  I suddenly felt horrible, and after finally finding a spot to pull over (the truck in front of me was going VERY slow), I flung open the door and got sick in front of a bunch of soldiers in formation.  

Oh, and it gets better.   A couple weeks later, I was driving home from work and had a terrible migraine.  I broke my sunglasses earlier that morning, so I had the sun in my eyes and my head leaning in my hand.   I then noticed that a MP (Military Police) officer had his lights on behind me.  I checked my speed and wasn’t speeding, so I figured it must have been someone in front of me getting pulled over, except for the fact that nobody was in front of me.   I pulled over, was instantly told to turn off my car, and I waited.  It was really hot out, and I felt horrible.  I was literally holding back getting sick because I was terrified of opening the car door and freaking the MP out.  He finally arrived at my car door and started talking and asking if I knew why I was being pulled over.  I said no, and he informed me that he saw me talking on my cell phone.  Before I could explain to him that I wasn’t on my phone, I flung the door open and got sick all over his boots!  I don’t know which of us was more horrified, but I burst into tears and told him that I was pregnant and that I had a migraine.  I was trying to show him my phone and prove to him that I wasn’t on it, while still apologizing to him for getting sick all over his boots.   Luckily, he believed me and let me go home. I, however, was horrified!

In addition to the horrible instances of sickness, I had started getting lots of migraines.  Luckily, that seemed to go away at the end of the second trimester, just in time for my tailbone to start hurting. I'm still waiting for that to fade, even now, at thirty-six weeks pregnant.

I have, however, been quite surprised about how much easier it is this time around.  I was in good shape before I got pregnant and have been able to continue being active.  I still run, I still go for walks, I still lift weights, and I can’t really complain about my weight gain.   Of course I have my moments where the movement is uncomfortable; but, for the most part, I am pretty excited to feel the baby move.

The big reveal

I was also quite pleased when we went to a “gender ultrasound” at one of those fancy ultrasound places.  We decided to go there because the hospital on Post doesn’t allow children to go to the ultrasound, and we really wanted Mya to be there when we found out the gender.  At fifteen weeks, the three of us went, and it was great.  They had a nice bed for me, a whole wall to watch the ultrasound on, and comfy chairs and couches, so everyone was really relaxed.  All three of us were excited to find out what sex the baby was, and all three of us were hoping for the same answer.  When the tech told us right away that she knew what it was and asked if we were hoping for one sex over the other, I think we were all scared to speak, but my husband finally spilled the beans-- we were hoping for a boy. 

When she said “You got your boy,” we were all so excited and happy. At that point, everything seemed very real.  We called everyone right away, and I was quite pleased that I wasn’t going to have to return all of the boy clothes I had already bought from Gymboree.

From a distance

I have also enjoyed being far away from extended family during the pregnancy.  I know that sounds horrible, but it means that we have been able to enjoy it together, just the three of us. After my two-week visit to see some family in Vermont this summer, I was ready to be back home, away from any unwanted commentary. I know that everyone means well, and I know they are excited, but the way things are now enables them to be excited from a distance.

I am also very happy that we will have some time to ourselves before any family comes to visit.  I guess I just feel like it is our own thing, and I don’t want to have to share my pregnancy with everyone else.   Mya loves feeling him move and is so excited for him to arrive.  I think it will be great for her to be able to get used to him being around without having to “share” him with everyone else, at least for the first couple weeks.

Gear-ing up!

Not only has working at Gymboree provided me with a discount, but it has also given me access to a stockroom filled with clothes from clearance sales.  Our boy has so many bins full of clothes that I'm not quite sure if he will ever even get a chance to wear everything!  

I've also become obsessed with reading reviews of baby products, the idea of baby-wearing, and I can hardly wait to start breastfeeding again.   I loved it so much the first time around!   I love my slings and wraps.  Just looking at them makes me all emotional and excited.   We are going to have a baby!

Sadly, we are not setting up a nursery now because we will be moving to Germany in December.  We have an extra room filled with boxes, so we are going to stick the crib in there.  The crib and the dresser will be set up, but they won’t be in a cute nursery.   I know I'll have my chance to do it when I arrive in Germany, but I do wish I could get a nursery ready for his arrival now.

The final countdown

We are now one month away from his due date, and everything is starting to get more and more real.  We still have things to buy, we still have things to set up, but I am just so excited to meet him!   We are all excited to meet him.  We have also finally decided on a name, but we are making everyone wait until he is born to find out!

 

> Read more about Doodler!

> Want to share your pregnancy story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.

Robinsokj's Pregnancy Story

Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 10:59 AM

 

"Over the past couple days, I have started to notice that I have a 'bump' forming.  You can't see it yet, but I can just feel it, which is super exciting."

 

 

 

 

 

And so it began
After college, I became a bit of a homebody.  I was living with my parents to save money and rarely went out.  I begged my neighbor to go to a local bar with me, and that’s where it all started.  I noticed that this guy had been looking at me all night, and I thought he was pretty cute.  After some liquid courage, I decided to make my move (which is very strange for me, since I’m not usually the pursuer).  I went over to him and asked if he’d been looking at me. He shyly told me that he had, and that sealed the deal.  Well, not really.  He “programmed” my number into his phone, but he forgot to hit save.  He had asked me to go out with him the next night, so when I never heard from him, I was obviously really bummed, until I remembered-- I had his number!  I texted him the next night and met up with him and a large group of his friends (talk about nerves). For whatever reason, a friend of his had a video camera and actually made me say my name and number into it, just in case it would be needed in the future.  From that moment on, we became somewhat inseparable. We were married two years later, on July 7, 2007.

Letting fate take over
Fast forward to April, 2009.  We were having a lazy Sunday, just hanging out on the back deck in a hammock, when, all of a sudden, I said, “Hey, I think it’s a good time to stop taking the Pill.”  I had been thinking about it for a while. I didn't have a steady job, we were financially stable, and the timing just seemed right.  Come to find out, he was thinking the exact same thing. So, the next day I took my pill for the last time.  

Roughly four weeks later, I started feeling very tired, which is unusual for me, so I decided to take a test.  As it turned out, I was pregnant.  I totally freaked out.  It took my parents eleven years to conceive me, so I guess I just assumed that nothing would ever happen quite so quickly.  I couldn’t hold in the news, so I drove to see Nick at work. I actually brought him the pee stick.  We both just looked at each other in total shock.  

The week after we found out, we were headed to a graduation party for Nick's cousin. We knew that there was no way we could hide the news, so we told everyone.  Sadly, though, just two weeks later, we had lost the baby.  It was upsetting, but for some strange reason, I had an awful feeling from the start that it just wasn’t going to last.  I don’t know why.  Somehow, I just knew.  

This time around
Now, here I am-- pregnant again (this time without the gut wrenching anxiety I felt last time).  Yes, I’m still nervous, but I feel that I am much better educated this time, and that things appear to progressing more smoothly.  Last time, I spotted sporadically the whole time. As of now, I haven’t seen a drop of blood (fingers crossed). Also, we just feel like we're more prepared now.  We would have eventually gotten to this point last time, but it’s nice to be able to really embrace the moment with the sort of readiness and eagerness that it deserves.

And then there were two...
Our first appointment was at 8 weeks, 5 days, and was pretty run of the mill.  Nothing too exciting happened, but we had an unexpected ultrasound, which was nice. We saw the little blob and its heart flicker and everything seemed to be progressing well. 

Fast-forward to 12 weeks. We went to the perinatologist for our NT scan. We waited for what felt like forever (I was okay with it, knowing that these things can be unpredictable, but DH was a bit perturbed.) Finally we were taken back into the room where they set me up on the table, squirted on the lube (which was warm, for once) and started the ultrasound. Shortly after the start of the ultrasound, the tech looks at me with a confused expression and says “So, what did they tell you at your last ultrasound?”  I didn’t think anything of it and said, “Oh, the baby was measuring about a day behind, but that’s about it.”  She then said, “Anything else?”  Meanwhile, I couldn't see the screen, so I didn't notice what looked like an extra sack. After this second question, DH and I look at each other as if something had gone terribly wrong and I just say, “Um, WHY?.”  Her response was, “Did they tell you how many were in there?”  All I could manage was a high-pitched “WHAT?”  That's when we learned we were having twins.

Nick grabbed my hand a bit tighter at that point, and I could feel his pulse in his hands. Talk about shocking. We’re still trying to figure out how that was missed at the first ultrasound, but now that I know its there, it’s so obvious.  All the measurements were well within normal range, and they were both super active.  All I know is, thank goodness my mom is retiring in January!

Thankfully, my morning sickness has been minimal, and I’ve been able to eat as healthily as possible, especially now that my cravings for Lucky Charms have passed. Over the past couple days, I have started to notice that I have a “bump” forming.  You can't see it yet, but I can just feel it, which is super exciting.  I can't wait to see what else is in store for us!

 

 

 

        

> Read more about Robinsokj!

> Want to share your pregnancy story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.

AlyssaJoy87's Pregnancy Story

Posted Wednesday, September 09, 2009 3:03 PM

"Convinced the test couldn’t be right, I went to my computer to be sure that I was reading it right. Google doesn’t lie -- it was positive!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where it all began

Jonathan and I met on March 10, 2007 at a local rock climbing gym. At the time, I was working at the gym and he was climbing with friends. We hit it off and decided to get to know each other better. Over the following weeks and months, we spent hours together talking, taking walks, and, of course, rock climbing. We quickly realized that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and Jonathan proposed to me in February of the following year.

We decided to wait to get married until I was done with school and we spent a year planning our wedding. It was well worth the wait and we were married on January 31, 2009. The wedding was perfect and we felt so blessed to be able to celebrate the day with our closest family and friends.

Our big surprise

Several months after our wedding, Jonathan and I were enjoying life as a married couple. We thought about having children, but decided that although we weren’t going to try for several years, if we were to get pregnant before that time, then we would accept it as the right time for the two of us.

One morning I had a suspicion that we could be pregnant and I took a pregnancy test, fully expecting it to be negative in spite of my suspicions. I was so surprised that it was positive that I sat and stared at the test for several minutes before doing anything. Still convinced that it couldn’t be right, I went to my computer to be sure that I was reading the test correctly. Google doesn’t lie -- the test was positive!

I told Jonathan that same morning and we let the news sink in -- we were going to become parents! As the reality of our situation set in, the excitement mounted. Our lives were about to change forever, but we were ready and thrilled at the change that was coming!

We had an ultrasound at thirteen weeks to make sure that everything was going well with our pregnancy. It was an amazing experience. We saw our little one growing inside of me and were able to hear the heartbeat! It was a reassuring and wonderful time for both Jonathan and I.

Life changes

Since we got the news that we are expecting, our lives have changed in a multitude of ways, some minor and some major. In the category of small changes, my love of Diet Pepsi has been put on hold until after our little one is born. Tough change for me, but worth it for our baby!

Our bigger changes have come in the form of house and job modifications. We moved our guest room down to the basement and have started working on our baby’s nursery. It’s been a fun project to think about what our little one will be doing in several months. The most enjoyable part thus far has been putting the crib together. Jonathan and I sat down one evening and decided to tackle the project of the crib. It took well over an hour, mainly because neither of us read the directions in full and the experience was one of trial and error, but in the end, the crib was solid and secure! We both love looking in our little one’s room and seeing that it is really coming together!

We realized that it wasn’t safe for me to continue working in my position during the first trimester of my pregnancy. I was working with adults who had suffered a traumatic brain injury and although I loved the clients, the situation was high-risk and not a good environment for someone carrying a child. As such, Jonathan and I decided that the best choice for our family was to leave my job. We have decided together that I will be a stay-at-home mom when our baby comes so the choice to leave my job worked out well -- it just came a bit earlier than expected!

Waiting for our future soccer player

Looking back over the past months, I can easily say that the best moment of my pregnancy was the first time I felt our little one kick. I laid down one night to go to sleep and suddenly felt several kicks in my abdomen! It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, but it was reassuring to know that our little one is healthy and will be making his or her appearance in just a few months.

 

> Read more about AlyssaJoy87!

> Want to share your pregnancy story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.

LaraElissa's Pregnancy Story

Posted Wednesday, September 02, 2009 8:58 PM

"This is a story of hope -- for all the women out there who are having a hard time conceiving..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding eachother

My husband Jeff and I tied the knot in May of 2007. We had been college friends for about seven years before we started dating. I knew Jeff was the one for me when at about three months into our relationship, he took me home for Thanksgiving to meet his family. From the moment I walked in the door they were so warm and friendly with me, I felt like I had known them all forever. Thanksgiving always consists of about 25 to 30 people, and now it includes my parents, brother, and sister-in-law. There have always been little cousins running around everywhere (and a few sets of twins -- they run in the family). Running right behind them is always Jeff.

One of the first things my father noticed about Jeff was that he loves children. We both do! Before we were even married we discussed how many children we would like to have together. Jeff always said four, because that’s how many children his parents had and I have always wanted two. So, with that said we started trying immediately for a family.

Facing some setbacks 

We were keeping track of my ovulation cycles and my basal body temperature, and were having sex every other day like you are supposed to. But seven months later, still nothing, and I started to have a hunch that something was wrong. I know my body. Something had to be wrong. I was a perfectly healthy thirty-one year old with no medical issues, so we thought this would be a piece of cake. I called my OBGYN and asked if I could go in for some testing. She said usually they make people wait till you have been trying for a year. I told her I didn’t want to waste any more time and I wasn’t getting any younger.

For about a week I kept calling the doctor’s office, begging them to let me get tested. The persistence finally paid off and I went in for a hysterosalpingogram or better known as an HSG. It is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. The results were a blow to everything we had tried over the last seven months. Both of my fallopian tubes were blocked. I dreaded the phone call to my husband, because the test was done on his birthday and of course I didn’t want to upset him. After having this test done, my OBGYN referred me then to a local fertility clinic, supposedly one of the best in the country. Jeff and I made an appointment and were able to get in almost right away.

Diagnosing the problem

Over the next few weeks, prior to our appointment, I started having really bad lower abdominal pain. I thought what could this be? What’s going on with my body all of a sudden? I started to research my new found aches and pains, abnormal bleeding, and came up with what’s called Endometriosis. This is a medical condition where the tissue that lines your uterus starts to grow on the outside of your uterus. It can also grow on your ovaries, fallopian tubes and on major organs. When we met with our Infertility Specialist for the first time they did lots of blood work, testing hormone levels, egg quality and quantity, and especially tried to persuade us into doing In-Vitro Fertilization right away. This is a very expensive procedure, which we can’t afford, and trying everything else out first was our main goal.

My husband and I are not the type to immediately jump into things without giving it a lot of thought and time.  I was scheduled for a surgery within a month to try and unblock my tubes and to see what else was going on in there. I had a tubal cannulation and removal of endometriosis, which was everywhere, according to the doctor. That explained all my pain, but nothing was answered as to what was blocking my tubes, even 'til this day. Within a month of my surgery we proceeded to do our first Artificial Insemination (AI) with clomid and progesterone. AI #1: nothing. AI #2: still nothing.

More disappointment

Within a few months of my surgery I started to have a lot of pain again, but this was a different type of pain. It was locally focused on the left pelvic side. Now what? I went to the same Infertility office for an ultrasound and I had what looked like an endometrioma growing very quickly on my left ovary. What is this? It is a non-cancerous tumor or cyst filled with blood, but in my case, you will see later in this story, I had numerous ones grow and the doctors were concerned that it could become cancerous at some point. Seven months after the first surgery, I went in for yet another surgery. This one was to remove the endometrioma off my left ovary, but while the doctor was in there, he found my left ovary to be stuck to my left side pelvic wall which he freed (this was a different doctor who did my second surgery, but worked at the same Infertility office) Following this surgery, I did a few more insemination's. AI #3: nothing;  AI #4: nothing.

Trying everything     

It was now the fall of 2008 and I still wasn’t pregnant. A lot of my friends were getting pregnant after only trying for one or two months. I started getting very depressed and giving up on the whole idea that I would never have a child of my own. I started looking into adoption agencies and asking friends which local agencies they would recommend.

When we were told about one right in our town, only a few minutes away from our home, I got very excited. I called this agency to inquire more about their process and figured out this was a Catholic non-profit adoption agency. I am Jewish, born and raised celebrating the Jewish Holidays here and there, but always had a Christmas tree. I attended a Jesuit University; attended all the required marriage preparation classes, married a Catholic and got married in the Catholic Church, by a Catholic Priest. So why did this adoption agency tell me I did not fit what they were looking for in an adoptive family? We have a beautiful home, live in an established neighborhood, both my husband and I have great jobs, our parents were never divorced, we come from stable homes and most of all we would be the most loving and caring parents that you will ever find. What was going on here? Is the world and life in general just out to get me? I’m a good person! I just didn’t get it!               

Searching for more answers

After coming down from another disappointment, it was time to visit with my OBGYN again. But this time I went with a recommendation from a friend. This new doctor delivered both of her children and she had nothing but great things to say about him and his practice.  At my first appointment, the new doctor wanted to test me for what’s called PCOS. Another medical term I had never heard of which stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Out of the many symptoms you could possibly have from this disease, I only had a few. I was immediately put on medication for it, to help stabilize my insulin and hormone levels.  I still take this medication today. I continued to see my new doctor on a regular basis, probably every few weeks.

Over the next few months I had numerous ultrasounds and all had the same result. They showed cysts, endometriosis and fibroids. The cysts would sometime rupture, helped by the medication I was on. One fibroid which was right smack in the middle of my uterus (the doctor believed it was blocking my fallopian tubes) was getting bigger and bigger by the week. I also had an endometrioma, a new one, forming on my left ovary again. Again? After a few months of more abdominal pain and trying naturally for a child, my doctor recommended surgery to remove the large fibroid from my uterus and possibly to remove my left ovary, the one causing so many problems.               

In February 2009, I went in for a third surgery and this time it was a much bigger procedure. They went into my uterus and removed the fibroid and also removed my left ovary and tube, which the doctor thought was totally shot. I was to stay in the hospital for three days and then recovery for two weeks at home. My pain had automatically disappeared and I felt like I finally gave my body a true chance to become healthy again.  We were told to wait six weeks before we should start trying again. My doctor believed that I would get pregnant within the next 6 months and if I didn’t he wouldn’t understand why. He really really believed! And for the next two months we would try naturally, and still nothing.

We finally decided to try out a different fertility clinic, one that was recommended by my wonderful doctor. I made the appointment for my first consultation at the new Infertility clinic and just as I thought the doctor said the same thing as the first place, which was to do IVF. The doctor thought my chances any other way would be slim to none, considering how horrible all my hormone levels were, along with my egg count and quality. Once again I told the doctor that we couldn’t afford IVF and would like to try AI, so we did.

BFP! 

On May 7th I was inseminated for the fifth and final time. Two weeks later, well almost two weeks (one day short), I took a pregnancy test and finally...it was positive! I actually took four tests over the next two days. I went to the doctor’s office for verification and that too was positive news. My husband and I walked into the office a little nervous, anxious and excited all at the same time. We got ready for the ultrasound, held each other's hands really tight and prayed. There she/he was; we heard the heartbeat and even saw it. It was such an amazing thing to see. A baby, really inside of me, something we had wanted for so long, it actually happened. Later, the doctor came in to meet with us and I will always remember our fertility specialist's words, he said: “I have to tell you this is a minor miracle.” And a true miracle it is! It was so hard hearing from various doctors that “You won’t get pregnant unless you do IVF”, “Your egg count and quality is horrible”, “You only have one ovary, your chances have just been cut in half.”

I now believe in miracles and never giving up on anything you put your mind to! Believe there is always one good doctor that believes in you and himself, to know that something positive will come of this…it has to. My best advice: Keep switching doctors 'til you find that right one, one that makes you feel comfortable.  Our friends and families prayed so hard for us, and I even started having faith, and still do, knowing that everything is turning out the way Jeff and I dreamed our lives would be together. 

 

> Read more about LaraElissa!

> Want to share your pregnancy story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.

rcollier_17's Pregnancy Story

Posted Wednesday, August 19, 2009 4:23 PM

"Derrick surprised me with a crib the weekend we moved in. He had it set up in the baby’s new room, filled with stuffed animals and a balloon tied to the corner. Couldn’t help but cry at that one..."

 

 

 

 

 

Love at first sight?

My husband, Derrick, and I met September 30, 2006 at an Iowa vs Ohio State game. I first noticed him at my work’s tailgating tent and decided to introduce myself. I should probably note that I had consumed way too many jell-o shots when I decided to go meet him. I first said hi to his brother (who I worked with) and then shook his hand while attempting to say "Happy Hawk Day", but what really came out was "Hawky Hawk Day". Then I guess I went on to stroke his hand and tell him how soft his hands were (I didn’t remember that until he told me during our first phone conversation).

Once we got into the game I found him and made a point to “make eyes” at him throughout the game. That next week at work Derrick’s brother got my number for him and I got a call a couple days later. We talked for a few hours on the phone and set up our first date. Needless to say, things moved quickly from there. It was like Derrick and I had known each other for years and after 7 months of dating we moved in and Derrick suggested we go look at rings.

Around October of 2007 I found out that Derrick was taking me to Green Bay for a Packers game for my birthday. I was super excited (and wondered if he would propose there). Well 2 nights before we left for Green Bay (November 15) Derrick and I were lying in bed having a deep discussion about where our relationship was going. Suddenly he got up, said he’d be back, and went outside. I immediately started crying thinking I must have pushed him over the edge with my questions. He came back in and lay down in bed with his back towards me.

After a bit he said “I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.” My heart absolutely dropped. I had done it. I had pushed him away. Nevertheless, I asked him what he meant and he repeated what he had said before. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around what he was saying and I was speechless. Then he turned over with a little green baggie in his hand and said, “I want to be more." He pulled out the box with my engagement ring in it saying, “You didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily did you? I care for you way too much.” Talk about a rush of emotions! I went from tears of sadness to tears of joy, and man were there a lot of tears! We were married October 11, 2008.

Oh my word, oh my word

It was March 15, 2009 and Derrick and I were picking up some groceries. I was one day late (if you can consider that late) and we had been joking about needing a pregnancy test. I had been off the pill for a month, but I told him I was having menstrual cramps and because I had no symptoms at all I was 90% sure I was not pregnant. Derrick really thought we should pick up a test though so he started to meander back that way by himself. Well I couldn’t let him pick one out by himself so very huffy I went to “that section” with him. We picked up a two-pack of First Response, took it home, popped in a movie, and made some supper (fish I’d have you know).

After we had eaten supper I snuck away into the restroom to take the first test. Two pink lines right away. I just sat there looking at it. Then wandered out of the restroom and asked, “Where are those directions?” I hardly remember what Derrick said, something like “What? Really?” Then I started bawling. I was in complete shock and Derrick just gave me the biggest hug. Then we got out the camera and started recording. If you watch the video now it’s kind of funny. I’m asking Derrick what we just found out and then all the sudden you see the camera drop and hear me saying in the background, “Oh my word, oh my word!” We took the second test that night before bed and got the exact same results. We were going to be parents!


Pregnancy so far

Once the shock wore off Derrick and I became very excited and told our parents just a couple days later (we couldn’t hold it in, we’re terrible with secrets). So far there’s not much I can complain about with this pregnancy. I was extremely tired during the first trimester and had some major food aversions to yogurt and chicken, but never threw up. I’ve loved getting a belly (although I did see a picture of myself pre-pregnancy a couple days ago and it did make me long for my thinner days) and feeling our little man kick around has been awesome. I do feel myself getting slower and lately my arms and legs have been falling asleep a lot, but if that’s the worst of it then I think I have a lot to be grateful for. Oh, and the heartburn I guess, you can’t leave that out. Tums are my new after dinner “mint.”

Preparing for Dominic (I always wanted my first son to be named Dominic. Thank goodness DH likes it) has been exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. We’re planning on having a drug free birth with as little medical intervention as possible. We have hired a doula, who will birth at home with us for as long as possible, and then will move to the hospital later in labor for my midwife to deliver us. It hit me a couple days ago that we have just 3 more months left and for some reason that just does not seem like very much time at all. It makes me incredibly anxious to get the show on the road.

I am very excited to experience labor and delivery. We have plenty to do though before our boy comes. We just moved at the end of July, so we still have an entire nursery to set up, once we finish getting unpacked that is. However, Derrick surprised me with a crib the weekend we moved in. He had it set up in the baby’s new room, filled with stuffed animals and a balloon tied to the corner. Couldn’t help but cry at that one. It was the nicest surprise ever.

Can’t wait for labor

This whole experience has been so incredibly amazing so far. I’ve always felt like life was something to be treasured, but experiencing this miracle has enhanced that a million times over. I’m constantly in awe of the gift we’ve been given and how our little one has developed over the past six months. It’s been a great bonding experience for Derrick and I. Part of the reason I’m so excited for labor and delivery is to share something so intense and so personal with Derrick.

We’re both definitely nervous, but we’ve been through a lot of ups and downs in our three years together and I know, no matter how labor and delivery goes, we will come out stronger and more in love than when we went in. We both know the road that lies ahead will have more than enough bumps, hiccups, and maybe even walls with it, but we knew we wanted to marry each other because we wanted to experience life together and this is just one more wonderful experience.

 

 

> Read more about rcollier_17!

> Want to share your pregnancy story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.

Mag_Mama's Pregnancy Story

Posted Friday, August 14, 2009 4:34 PM

"There it was on the digital display: 'Pregnant.' We both started laughing hysterically, flushed with joy. It was finally our turn..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talk of the town
When you’re in your 30s and more than four years into marriage, it’s only natural that people are going to ask when you’re going to start a family. For us, it was definitely the question on everybody’s lips—and rightfully so! My husband Jose and I were both in a place where we knew we wanted children. We had good jobs and a deep, loving relationship.
 
But trying to conceive was something I kept putting off—mainly because I was scared it wasn’t going to happen. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), an endocrine disorder that’s recognized as a leading cause of infertility. Because of this, I had always assumed that getting pregnant was going to be a challenge. And through the years, everyone seemed to agree with me, from my endocrinologist to two-bit psychics who insinuated that difficulties were looming.
 
Expecting the worst
I created a world in my head, filled with future visits to fertility specialists, acupuncturists and adoption agencies. Other times, I convinced myself that I was a career gal who would be fine without kids. I was so sure there would be issues, I even had my husband, friends and family convinced. All the while, my desire to be a mom was growing stronger and stronger.
 
Trying to conceive became this giant, looming fear that I did everything to avoid. One big hurdle was coming off my medications for PCOS, which did a lot to help my symptoms, including obesity, skin and hair issues, thyroid problems, mood swings and depression. I took four different medications to treat the disorder, including a birth control pill to help regulate my hormones. The medications worked, and I was afraid to stop taking them for fear that my symptoms would come back in full force, and I wouldn’t be able to ovulate. Yet I knew I had to wean off of them if we wanted to be parents. Stuck between two places, the avoidance continued...
 
Divine intervention
Sitting in church on Christmas Day, 2008, I felt it in my spirit: It was time. Aside from knowing Jose was “The One,” I had never been so sure about anything in my life, and I couldn’t stop crying. I was at peace. I leaned over and whispered it to Jose, who nodded. He knew it too.
 
I put my prescriptions in a little shopping bag, stashed them in the back of my closet, took a deep breath and waited for the worst to happen. While my symptoms didn’t return with a vengeance like I expected them to, I did gain some weight, shed some hair, and break out in acne, which all seemed like a small price to pay. Amazingly, my formerly erratic cycles were now like clockwork.
 
Instant success
After waiting three months for the medications to clear out of my system, we tried. And on our very first “try” during ovulation, we conceived. We couldn’t believe it at first, after all those years of build-up and unfounded fear. But there it was on the digital display: “Pregnant.” Standing in our bathroom together this past April, Jose kept shouting, “No way, no way, no way, no way!” And then we both started laughing hysterically, flushed with joy. It was finally our turn.

Neither of us are the type who can keep a secret, so immediately we called our parents, siblings and closest friends. Jose’s mom, who lives in Puerto Rico and speaks mostly Spanish, said to me in English, “I prayed and prayed and prayed…and it happened!” My mom, who tends to be intuitive, reminded me of a dream she’d had a few weeks ago, in which I was holding an egg to symbolize fertility. “It’s a girl,” she said. “I just know it.” Jose said the same thing. Right from the start, they both knew that a daughter was on the way (and it turns out they were right).

So far, so good
I hope other moms don’t hate me for saying this, but I haven’t had any morning sickness or nausea. In fact, I was worried about NOT having it, because I heard that it can actually be a sign that everything’s going well in the beginning. I found the whole experience of pregnancy to be very surreal at first. Other than swollen breasts, fatigue, and being overly emotional (which is really nothing new for me), I didn’t “feel” pregnant yet. But that changed the first time we saw our baby via ultrasound. I’ll never forget seeing this tiny, swirling little miracle that my husband and I created together…bouncing happily and making our hearts swell. I’ve had several ultrasounds since then, and I cry every single time while Jose stands beside me, holding my hand and grinning from ear to ear.

Halfway there…and awaiting her arrival
Now that I’m about halfway through my pregnancy, I’m really starting to show…maybe a little too much. As someone who’s prone to easy weight gain thanks to genetics and PCOS, I’m trying to keep an eye on the scale, yet the pounds keep adding up. I’m already mentally preparing myself for a baby weight battle post delivery!

In the meantime, there’s a lot left on our to-do list—from figuring out what we need for our registry, to setting up a nursery, to taking a Lamaze class, just to name a few. Like many other first-time parents-to-be, we feel a little overwhelmed by all the changes, yet we couldn’t be more excited.

Our daughter Grace is due to arrive on December 28, 2009—almost exactly one year from that moment of clarity. We truly feel that it’s perfect timing. And we can’t wait to meet her.

> Read more about Mag_Mama!

> Want to share your pregnancy story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.