Katers1279: Our TTC Story
Thursday, March 26, 2009 5:27 PM
"We both agree that all of our obstacles happened for a reason and that we are going to be even better parents now that we've seen life isn't as easy as we'd all like it to be..."
How we met
Brett and I first met at work in June of 2003. We became friends quite quickly and started hanging out in group social settings. For the first few months, we had no idea we'd ever be anything more than buddies. However, the group outings started turning into "Katy and Brett go off in a corner to talk and are oblivious to everyone and everything else around them." A short three months later, we went on our first date. Sitting across the table from Brett at dinner, I knew there was something different about this date. I had no idea this it would be the beginning of a lifetime together, but, I knew something was different.
A "short" four years later, Brett proposed in Maui, Hawaii. Never one to make a scene, he pulled off the biggest surprise ever when he proposed on stage at a Hawaiian Luau. Less than a year later, we were married in Jamaica at a beautiful sunset ceremony on the beach. We brought along 30 of our nearest and dearest friends and family and had the week of our lives.
We planned on trying to conceive immediately after the wedding. I've been dreaming of becoming a mom for as long as I can remember. I've been looking forward to the magical feeling of a baby sleeping on my chest, the sound of our baby laughing, the Christmas mornings with our children... The minute we were married, I was ready to move from "wife" to "mommy."
A bump in the road
Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case. The day after our wedding, Brett became horribly sick. We flew home from Jamaica and went directly to the hospital. After three hospital visits, a week long hospital stay and examinations by five different specialties in medicine, Brett was diagnosed with Reactionary Rheumatoid Arthritis.
For two months, he was barely able to move. He couldn't walk alone, couldn't shower by himself, couldn't even make himself a sandwich. It was never a question that I'd do everything I could to care for my husband. To see him so weak, so frail and so ill made me love him even more than I ever thought possible. You go through your early life thinking your husband will be the one to take care of you...and when it's turned around, it's a life changing experience. I'd go to work each morning after making sure he was safely out of bed, fed and moved to the living room for the day. I'd come home for lunch to make sure he was okay. I'd come home at night, we'd watch TV and we'd head to bed. It took him two months, several very strong pain and steroid medications, and a trip to our local research hospital for him to finally recover. Those two moths were probably the worst of our entire lives.
Brett was finally symptom-free on December 22, 2008. We were over the moon and ready to try to conceive again. And then, on December 26th, the office we both worked in closed its doors. The economy had gotten the best of our small mortgage company and we were both unemployed. I was devastated. Trying to conceive has been my dream for 25 years and we'd just been hit with another huge road block. With both of us out of work, there was no way we could justify having a baby right away. We both knew it was the most logical decision, but, that didn't make it hurt any less.
Making the best of things
There were days it took every ounce of effort just to get out of bed. We couldn't understand why we had just recovered from one tragedy, only to be faced with another one four days later. Brett and I wanted to become parents so badly. We'd faced such stress and all we wanted was to be able to celebrate overcoming his sickness by becoming pregnant. We weren't even bothered by not having jobs, we were heartbroken that it meant we'd have to continue with not trying to conceive.
Fast-forward three months....Brett and I are finally on the road to trying to conceive again. We're hoping, trying and planning for a 2010 baby. And we both agree that all of our obstacles happened for a reason. As a couple, we're even stronger than we ever thought we could be. And we're going to be able to teach our future child that any problem can be fixed with strength and perseverance. We're going to be able to show him or her that through the toughest of times, Mommy and Daddy never faltered. We are going to be even better parents now that we've seen that life isn't as easy as we'd all like it to be. We know there's nothing we can't handle together, as a family. And those are the things we've wanted to teach our children all along. Now we have the true life examples to prove it.
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