Medtwin's TTC Story
Friday, October 16, 2009 11:08 AM
"I will continue to have hope this time around, and hopefully, this time will be my time. I will be the
person who hears 'You're pregnant!'"
Gary and I are a happy internet couple -- we met on eHarmony.com in June, 2006. He lived approximately one hour from me at the time, so we decided to meet half-way. We shared a few e-mail and phone conversations prior to our actual meeting, which was on June 21. By then we had already planned to go away together to celebrate Fourth of July weekend just a few weeks later. In August, Gary said, "I love you." I said, "Thank you." I wanted to be sure; but, by the end of October, 2006, it seemed that we were more than sure -- we were talking about a future together.
We planned for our beautiful wedding to take place in Portsmouth, RI, at a beautiful mansion in May of 2008. Right down to the Italian food for my In-Laws and the New England seafood for my family and friends, each and every piece of the wedding was carefully and creatively planned. We chose to have cupcakes, rather than choosing the traditional wedding cake, and we performed a Swing dance that came as quite a surprise to all of our guests. It was truly a magical day.
We actually started TTC before the wedding. We talked in-depth about wanting to start a family and about how having our own children was very important to us. I told Gary that I was excited to marry him and that children would, of course, be great. More importantly, though, I wanted to marry someone who I could share the rest of my life with.
A few weeks before our wedding, we met with an OB/Gyn who recommended that we meet with a fertility specialist, since my cycles were occurring so infrequently. We met with her in July, 2008. After seeing doctor after doctor and becoming more and more impatient, we finally had our first IVF cycle in September, 2009, but it was unsuccessful. We were devastated. I honestly felt that I put 200% of my time and energy into the cycle, and, yet, it just didn't work out. Being an optimistic person, though, I said that someone else must have needed that positive more than I did that day.
Where we are now
Currently, in a week or so, we will begin our second IVF cycle. I have decided to treat it as a "new" cycle and to remain positive throughout it. I have to be honest and admit that part of me doesn't want to put my entire being into this cycle at all, simply because I had lost so much of my own invested hope the first time around. For me, that has been the hardest part of TTC -- the disappointment and the heartbreak. I will, however, continue to have hope this time around. I will remain positive. And hopefully, this time will be MY time. I will be the person who hears "You're pregnant!"
For people who are just starting this process: Good luck, believe, and be hopeful! I myself can't wait to be a mommy. To hold that little baby in my arms and to have the responsibility of bringing up a new life in this world will be nothing short of amazing!
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