Mlwinkle's TTC Story

Posted Wednesday, November 11, 2009 2:33 PM

"The past year has brought us many highs and many lows, but every bit of laughter and every single tear has only brought us closer together..."

How we met

Matt and I met via the internet on Match.com. Our first date was actually on April Fool’s day, 2006, and it was a wonderful day. Matt met me with open arms and a huge smile,and, in no time at all, I was smitten.  As wonderfully informative as the world-wide web can be, however, a profile is still not a person. Matt's profile managed to leave out one little thing about himself. It was one little thing that took me by quite the big surprise...

Revelations

Matt was born with a congenital birth defect called Arthrogryposis, which prevents him from being able to bend his knees. I was a little scared at first, but he had such a magnetic personality that I couldn't help but be totally drawn to him, regardless. We talked for over twelve hours that day, as our lunch suddenly morphed into a late-night dinner.

That night, it hit me-- I had actually found someone who suited me perfectly. We enjoyed the same hobbies and had many of the same goals for the future. Even our fur babies were equally as smitten with the new relationship. A week later, I met Matt's family for a Memorial Day BBQ, which also happened to be his parent’s 35th Wedding Anniversary. From that day forward, I felt that I was officially part of the family.

Tying the knot

Fall is our favorite time of the year, so we planned our big day around the season. November 1, 2008, was the day we chose to make our day of celebration! It was our dream to dedicate an entire evening to celebrate our union with our family and friends.  It was a beautiful, candle-lit ceremony, and we stood there--together--literally surrounded by all who attended. The priest was an old friend of my husband’s family. His three sisters were my Bridesmaids, and my Maid of Honor was a friend of over twenty-five years. As for Matt, his brother-in-laws stood by his side, along with two close childhood friends. As if all of that wasn't enough, one of the Groomsmen played an acoustic version of Ray LaMontagne’s "Forever My Friend" on his favorite guitar. We laughed until we cried, and then we were married. It was beautiful!

Our journey

The past year has brought us many highs and many lows, but every bit of laughter and every single tear has only brought us closer together. We decided that the summer of 2009 would be the time for us to try for our first child. On July 4, 2009, we found out that we were pregnant. We were both gushing with so much excitement that it became close to impossible to even attempt to contain ourselves.  Phone calls were made to our parents,his sisters, and our closest friends. We were consumed by total joy and warm wishes from everyone.

I know now that I will never feel that same abounding excitement again with a positive pregnancy test. On July 27, at almost eight weeks, I began miscarrying our new-found joy. I was very fortunate, though, to go through the process naturally, and we were given the green light to try again after waiting one cycle.

On September 29, I took a home pregnancy test, and it read “Pregnant”. At that moment, I could feel a small shred of that same abounding excitement that I had felt the first time around, but I also felt scared. This time I knew what I could lose. We chose to keep this one to ourselves. I did share the news with my bump friends on the "Trying To Conceive After A Loss" Board. I have to say that it is due to their wonderful wit and wisdom that I was able to pull myself through the first loss, and, as sad as it is to say, even now, to continue to get me through my second.

Yes, my second-- as it turned out, just days after finding out that I was pregnant for the second time, I began to miscarry. We were devastated, to say the least, and we needed an answer as to why this was happening...again. I had just undergone Repeated Loss Testing, which, fortunately, has shown that I am absolutely normal. We also know that my husband’s condition is not genetic and that it cannot be passed on to our offspring. Now, our next step is to try again and to hope that our next pregnancy will bring us nothing but a happy and healthy nine months: "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." --John Wayne

> Read more about Mlwinkle!

> Want to share your TTC story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.