xDanniellex TTC Story
Thursday, October 07, 2010 3:13 PM
"Having a plan made me feel better and like we were on the same page for once."
Beginning our journey
Our journey began in 2008. We were married in May after being together for 5 years. My husband was ready to try as soon as the vows were over. I had been wanting a baby for years, and he wanted to wait till we were married. Now that I had the "all clear" from him some hidden fears worked their way out. Suddenly the idea of being pregnant was scary. All the thoughts of how a baby would change our lives were overwhelming. So I put off stopping birth control for a few months. I finally stopped taking the pills in September.
That first cycle I thought was it. Then AF showed up. I knew all about taking my basal body temperature and had purchased the thermometer. I dutifully took my temp. every morning and recorded it on the website fertilityfriend.com. Cycle after cycle went by with never a sign of pregnancy.
In December, while I was at my family's for Christmas I stayed up late one night and had a long talk with my aunt, my mom's sister. I knew that she had struggled to get pregnant with her first, and she also had been over 300lbs when she got pregnant with her 3rd. I'm not that heavy, but I am overweight. I worried that my weight could be a reason I wasn't getting pregnant. My aunt assured me that it would happen in time, and that she didn't think my weight was the problem.
So we continued as we were. My cycles were never the same amount of days, but they were approximately the same. I developed a new symptom of spotting a day before my period started full blown. As much as I hoped for implantation bleeding, I always knew what that spotting meant.
Getting the wrong signals
In late July of 2009 I was positive I was pregnant. My body felt different from every other cycle. I was getting headaches, drinking a ton of water, going to the bathroom a lot, my lower back ached, and my temps were staying up. I bought a dollar store pregnancy test and it turned up negative. I was so disappointed. Of course the next day my typical day of spotting started, so I knew AF was going to show herself.
In August I was so depressed at having been trying for nearly a year that I started an online journal. I knew my husband was tired of me complaining, especially since he couldn't do anything more to help the situation. Talking to my mom only lead to her telling me to relax and that it "will happen eventually." I needed a way to vent my frustrations and fears without feeling judged. The journal actually helped a lot since I could write anything and everything I was feeling. I was able to just air all my grievances. I made it completely private and didn't store my password so that even my husband couldn't read it.
Prior to 2009 I had never gone to gynecologist for my yearly exam, I had always gone to Planned Parenthood. I asked my local Nest board for OB/GYN recommendations and when it came time for my yearly appointment in September, I took their recommendation and made an appointment. I loved the doctor. She was so easy to talk to. When I shared my concerns about our TTC efforts she shared personal experiences for herself and her daughter. She didn't blame my weight. She said that we could immediately start some infertility testing by doing blood work on myself and having my husband get an SA. I told her that I would have to contact our insurance company first before we set anything up. So I contacted the insurance company and got devastating news. Anything they received that was for "infertility" would be denied. They covered nothing! So now we couldn't even find out if anything was wrong, without having to pay completely out of pocket.
After the really bad news my husband I sat down and had a long talk. We talked about my feelings, and where we could go from here. We still had some options. I explained about OPKs and how they could give us a better idea of when I was ovulating since according to my temps there was never a set day each cycle. I also wanted him to start a multi-vitamin just to make sure he was getting all the necessary vitamins and minerals. That was a fight, but he gave in. We discussed losing some weight and improving our health together.
Having a plan made me feel better and like we were on the same page for once. I ordered the OPKs off the internet and they arrived pretty quickly. I was towards the beginning of my cycle so I started testing daily just to get an idea of what testing was like and just in cast I ovulated early. I tested from Day 9 to Day 18, and never got a positive result. My temps during those days also never revealed what day I ovulated. So as my cycle came to an end I was positive that this cycle was another bust and hopefully the OPKs would work the next cycle.
Turns out I was completely wrong. On Day 29 I took an HPT and it came back positive. It was during our 15th cycle that we finally conceived.
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