I guess it seems like I am so focused on SS and BM's issues on here because I am brand new and the more I posted the more I had to explain, and in my attempt to explain my situation, hoping someone out there may have been there too, I got ridiculed, called a liar, and made fun of. I don't know if it is hormones or what, but I bawled when I read the other post. I feel like I hit brick walls everywhere, with the court, with CPS, with my MIL, with my DHS, with BM, and I was hopeful with this site. Hoping that maybe just maybe I would find people to lean on, vent to, and learn from.
Then I read that other stuff and was like, you have got to be kidding me, why even bother? I would give ANYTHING in the world for this to be some story I made up, or all just a bad dream I could wake up from, but it is not. I am set on defense mode because that is how I have had to live every single day for almost a year and I so desperately wanted to be able to have a safe place to let down that guard and for once find some answers and relief.
Instead I have been called crazy and laughed at. The majority of my DH's family all act as if my son never even existed and like I should have been able to just wake up the next day unfazed, they also act as if all the horrific things BM did to me, I should just forgive her and act like it never happened, so yes, there is a lot of resentment there. I know it is not SS fault, but having stood where I have stood it is very hard not to resent him because he is a constant reminder of her and all of the trauma I have experienced and am trying desperately to overcome. Plus, the TERRIBLE things he says to me, God, I just feel like he is a mini version of her and because of her he is going to grow up to be a miserable and hateful person just like her. I don't see where I am writing him off, what else could I do? It is very hard for me to see everyone say what about SS, over and over, when for the last 5 months, no one has expressed any sympathy for my son who is never even going to get a chance at life.
I am not his mother and BM makes sure I am reminded of that on a weekly basis, and has it court ordered that I have no say so in his life whatsoever. If I could load him up and take him back to the doctor DH was taking him to I would in a heartbeat. I do not have the legal authority to do so and now, because of BM neither does DH. DH has not given up. We are totally broke, this whole mess has cost us 18,000. All of our savings is gone and we have had to borrow money as well. When we were still in the thick of the battle, DH took him to multiple centers for interviews and assessments, after the sexual abuse by the BF children, drove the CPS worker nuts with calls, fought to the bitter end in court, and the Judge, a woman, who grew up in the same town as BM's parents and attends the same church, did not want to hear it and sided with BM.
Even after this, my husband has contacted another attorney trying to find out what in the world, if anything, he can do, and he was told there is a statute of limitations to it and he would have to wait until he established residency in this county for one year before he could refile a counter motion here. If anyone else has any suggestions I would be glad to hear them.