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12-03-2012 at 10:37 AM
jessicalgi...
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jessicalgilmore is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 5:09 PMBronze

Shower RSVP follow-up Advice

My mom is throwing my shower and she can be kind of intense most of the time.  Needless to say, it has been really stressful, and she has had me really invovled.  It feels so awkward being involved in my own shower, but I am sure she has the best intentions and she wants it to be just like I would like it.  However, she really takes away the element of surprise.  Anyways, the RSVP date is this weekend and she needs to give the caterer a headcount.  Most of the guest list has not RSVPed yet and she wants me to call my friends and find out if they are coming.  I feel so awkward texting/calling people about my own baby shower.  I am so fortunate to be having one and I am so thankful and excited, but I feel so weird hounding people for a yes or no to my own shower.  Fighting with my mom or even trying to talk to her about it is not an option...it really just isn't worth the stress with her most of the time.  Any suggestions on how to follow up with people without being totally tacky?
 
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12-03-2012 at 10:51 AM
bethparr19...
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bethparr1979 is not online. Last active: 05-15-2013, 4:56 PMBronze

I had this same issue.  As of the RSVP date over half the guests had not yet responded.  I gave my sister email addresses for all of the people we hadn't heard from yet, and she sent out a mass email, just BCC'ing everyone who hadn't responded.  Of about 20 we hadn't heard from, more than half ended up showing up!  Her email said:

"Hello, ladies! If you are receiving this email, I have not yet heard from you regarding whether you are planning to attend Beth's baby shower on December 1st. I hope you can make it -- Beth would love to see you there! Please let me know either way, as we need to finalize our numbers for food and beverages in the next few days. And feel free to let me know if you have any questions. Thank you so much, and I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!"
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12-03-2012 at 11:22 AM
RiverSong8...
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RiverSong82 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 2:59 AMBronze

I don't think that you should be calling/e-mailing/contacting guests. That would be a little awkward. 

It sounds like you mother is unwilling to do this? Is there another friend/family member who could send an e-mail as the PP suggested for your mom and CC her on it?

"I'm so-and-so's aunt/sister/friend and I am helping with preparations for J's shower. If you could please let us know if you plan to attend the shower on (date), it would be very much appreciated as we need to finalize our numbers for food/beverages/etc..."

 If it's not too many people, maybe an individual e-mail would be best. 
 
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12-03-2012 at 1:24 PM
tulipbloss...
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Desperate times call for desperate measures. If your mom really is refusing to follow up with these people and you cannot get anyone else to do it I would make a "fake" email address and send an email from your mother to everyone. This way you can still get the follow up done and it doesn't look like you are the one doing it.

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12-03-2012 at 2:26 PM
Karla CS
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Karla CS is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 10:46 PMNewbie

I had my husband send out a request for RSVP's but only for people I feel would have/should be there... by that I mean, I logged into his email account and sent out the request; Sneaky sneaky.

 But what the heck happened to common courtesy? It takes a few seconds to email and say yes or no. (And especially via email, there's no need to have a potentially awkward conversation with a stranger)
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12-03-2012 at 3:31 PM
jhutt321
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jhutt321 is not online. Last active: 02-13-2013, 10:58 AMNewbie
Remember how that friend said "if you need anything just let me know..." Well now is the time to let her know. I would delegate this task to someone like that who asks if there is anything they can do to help. Good luck!
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