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11-02-2012 at 10:59 AM
Logansmomm...
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Logansmommie is not online. Last active: 11-02-2012, 2:08 PMNewbie

1st communion question - money grabbing event?

I am not catholic so I don't know about all the ettiquette involved with 1st communion.  My SIL just emailed me and our other SIL (who is also not catholic) to let us know that my niece's 1st communion with be next April and she is all excited about getting money so she can buy an Ipod touch or Ipad.  My first thought is, isn't she missing the point of the religious ceremony?  All she wants is the money?  And then I think, why is my SIL telling us about this now?  Is it so we are prepared to give her money for this?  It is not sitting very well with me and at this point I do not want to give her money for this.  I am sure we will be pressured by the rest of the family to give, but it all feels wrong to me.  So is 1st communion just a money grabbing event?  Is this just how it is or am I missing something? 

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11-02-2012 at 3:13 PM
Angela814
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Angela814 is online. Last active: 06-20-2013, 5:42 AMGold
I'm Catholic, and I would be very put off by that too. 1st communion is supposed to be about the sacrament, not an excuse to get money. The money our kids got at their baptisms went into their bank accounts/college accounts.


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11-02-2012 at 3:19 PM
2Gma
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2Gma is not online. Last active: 04-18-2013, 2:04 PMNewbie

I was raised Catholic.  1st communion is a big deal in the catholic church and for the children who now get to participate in the sacrament.  Because they are usually around 2nd grade when this happens they are too young too really understand the significance of the event (hence your nieces excitment over her party and impending gifts)  Usually it is celebrated among family members and some people offer a small religious or monetary gift but I wouldn't say its expected.

I'm hoping that your SIL just came off wrong when speaking to you about it and that she is really teaching her DD the importance of it.  Telling your now about an April event is quite far in advance IMO but perhaps she really wanted you all there and typically churches line these things up far in advance.  Some of my family was lutheran and presbyterian but still came and watched me participate in my 1st communion.


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11-02-2012 at 3:21 PM
neverblush...
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neverblushed is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 6:34 PMSilver

Yeah -- your SIL is being crass and a money-grubber.  That's really foul.

However, it is still an important moment, and you don't want to punish your niece for her mom's rudeness.

I'd buy her a savings bond instead of giving cash.  


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11-02-2012 at 9:30 PM
smilejenn
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smilejenn is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 8:42 PMSilver
neverblushed:

Yeah -- your SIL is being crass and a money-grubber.  That's really foul.

However, it is still an important moment, and you don't want to punish your niece for her mom's rudeness.

I'd buy her a savings bond instead of giving cash.  

 

Ditto the above advice. I'm Catholic and First Communion is a big event. I personally would always purchase a gift for my niece and nephew, but instead of a toy I would make it a gift that has the potential for a long lifespan. (ie an initital pendant from a quality jewelry store) But if I didn't go with a tangible gift, I would absolutely go with a savings bond over cash. As an adult, I'm so grateful for the bonds I received (and saved) from family members growing up vs cash I would have spent at the time.


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11-22-2012 at 2:15 AM
MesmrEwe
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MesmrEwe is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 3:41 PMSilver
I'm pretty late to the post, but I agree with the PP too! (and yes, I'm also Catholic)  It's the SIL in question that's the issue not the niece...  IMO, that'd be a tip off that niece is NOT going to get cash for her First Communion!!!  I'd instead opt for a nice piece of jewelry (First Communion is really a transition such that it's the first of the ages of being able to give them "real" jewelry instead of the kiddie or cheapie jewelry) or stock...

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11-23-2012 at 11:22 AM
JulieMarie...
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JulieMarie21 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:53 PMNewbie

MesmrEwe:
I'm pretty late to the post, but I agree with the PP too! (and yes, I'm also Catholic)  It's the SIL in question that's the issue not the niece...  IMO, that'd be a tip off that niece is NOT going to get cash for her First Communion!!!  I'd instead opt for a nice piece of jewelry (First Communion is really a transition such that it's the first of the ages of being able to give them "real" jewelry instead of the kiddie or cheapie jewelry) or stock...

excuse me for lurking. I still have and wear the gold cross and chain that my aunt got me 20 years ago for my first communion. 


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11-23-2012 at 11:32 AM
lawry13
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lawry13 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:26 PMBronze
My nephews made their 1st communion last year.  My sister told my sister and I (we were planning on getting savings bonds) that the kids would prefer an iTunes gift card.  One nephew was already in 4th grade.  I was so put off with this, thinking it is a religious event that I bought them children's bibles instead.

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12-10-2012 at 1:17 PM
semdkm
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semdkm is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 3:59 PMBronze
Ditto Angela's post.
 
01-03-2013 at 9:42 PM
Vampirstei...
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Vampirstein is not online. Last active: 01-29-2013, 11:34 PMNewbie
Lurker here. For my first communion I was not aware of getting any money. I got a teddy bear dressed in a communion outfit, and my first real rosary (not the plastic ones), and I think a bottle for holy water. There are tons of little photo frames and statuettes, such as the precious moments series, that would make great gifts, but I would not give money or itunes cards, especially after requests like that. 
 
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