I understand completely about needing as much information as possible as I was/am the same way.
I told my OB that I wanted try again right away. He was completely supportive and said there was no medical reason I couldn't try. I knew that the longer I had to wait to get pregnant the harder it was going to be on me emotionally and he understood that. That said the first couple months I wasn't pregnant afterwards were devastating, but a few months later I was beginning to become more fearful than hopeful about becoming pregnant. I got pregnant on clomid (I also have PCOS), but I had decided we were going to stop treatments if I hadn't gotten pregnant the cycle we did and take a break for a while.
As for treatment my OB was very proactive in treating me. I took prometrium from positive test until 36 weeks, and I had a McDonald cerclage placed at 14 weeks. I was on bedrest for 2 weeks after my cerclage and another week around 20 weeks for some mild bleeding. My OB's restrictions were no sex or exercise, but I worked 2 jobs while taking classes. However I was very careful not to lift anything heavy, and I tried to really listen to my body if I thought I was doing too much. I also saw my doctor every other week from 5-14 weeks, and every week from 14-38 weeks when I delivered. I would have gone to the normal schedule at 28 weeks, but I had other complications come up unrelated to cervical incompetence.
To my knowledge there is nothing you can do to strengthen your cervix pre-pregnancy. However, if I were you I would look into having an abdominal cerclage placed prior to pregnancy since you will be doing IVF and have a greater chance of twins.
Sorry for the book, let me know if you have any other questions!