Honestly, I would opt for a hospital birth as well. I think home birth is great (although haven't had one myself) but I think one can have a great birth in other settings as well. The typical stay for uncomplicated vaginal birth is 24 hours - so leaving at that point shouldn't be a problem. And as for your long labor, I would just labor at home for as long as possible.
You know what you want and don't want and sound like you are willing to make those wishes clear. While the hospital isn't the ideal postpartum setting for you, it is what you make it as well. In other words, focus on the positives - say, someone at your beck and call! - and go in with a plan for expressing your wishes. It's also been 3.5 years - a lot might have changed in that time as far as hospital policies go. At my hospital, rooming in, breastfeeding, etc were the norm. Yeah, it kinda sucks to have random wake ups for vitals but it's only 24 hours!