Hi, I am so glad you followed our recommendations to come here. This is a very dark time, and it makes a world of difference to have others who really do understand, have been there, and will walk with you through this. I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Elsie. Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a child, nothing. It still seems surreal to me and it has been over 18 months. And I miss my daughter everyday. The deep darkness and despair won't last forever, even though right now I know it feels that it will. But you will be forever changed.
I don't remember if I already recommended books, but if not, I would recommend Grieving the Child I Never Knew, The One Year Book of Hope, Empty Cradle Broken Heart and Good Grief by Westberg.
I would also encourage you to visit a grief counselor (some Hospice offices offer this for free to anyone in the community following a loss) or support group. Even if you think you don't need to. It took me nearly 9 months to go, and in hindsight, I should have gone much sooner, but I could not see that.
We are all here for you. This is a long road, but you are not alone.