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12-20-2012 at 9:35 AM
mrsschmidz
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Joined on 10-25-2010
1,802 Points
mrsschmidz is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 1:18 PMNewbie

Is this normal?

My girlfriend that had brought M to our attention (some of you may remember; after all was said and done, M's CW notified us that she was matched with another family) she called me last night to chit chat and mentioned that M is still living with her foster parents. It's been 2 months since we were told that M was matched with another family. Those of you who have experience with adoption through foster care, is this a normal amount of time? M's FM said that M hasnt even met her APs nor has Ms CW contacted FM to tell her that anyone has been chosen for M. Just seems weird to me.


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12-20-2012 at 10:11 AM
CaptainSer...
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Joined on 03-12-2007
New Jersey
12,010 Points
CaptainSerious is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 7:41 PMGold
I don't know if that's normal, but it seems a long time for them not to have even met yet.  Can you call M's SW and tell ask?  I'd just mention  that you heard the prospective parents haven't met M yet, and you were wondering if everything was still moving forward.  You can tell her you understand if she can't tell you anything, but just reassert that you are still interested in fostering/adopting M if there is ever a need.
12-20-2012 at 10:52 AM
elissaann2...
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Joined on 02-20-2008
Raleigh, NC
3,483 Points
elissaann26 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 12:40 PMSilver

My guess is that this timeframe varies greatly from county to county from state to state and case to case.  Nothing in foster care is standard unfortunately.  But 2 months doesn't completely surprise me if there is paperwork and/or legal stuff that needs to be taken care of.

I also would like to note that using the FM as your information resource is not the best indicator of how things are really going.  Obviously she would know if M met her APs, but in my experience as a FM they are told as little as possible.  Our county didn't plan to tell us that our foster sons were going to be reunified with their birth family until after it was decided in court, which then the boys could have been moved immediately!  We heard rumors about it and called a meeting and point blank asked them, so we found out 5 days before court.  Communication with FP is horrendous, so just keep that in mind.

But I do think it is worth call the SW to match sure things are still on track and to gently reminder her that you are interested in adopting M if things fall through. 

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