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12-19-2012 at 9:03 AM
-auntie-
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Another Take on the Sandy Hook Shooting

This kind of plays to what I told DH when he first told me about the story as it broke-

I hope this isn't an IEP gone bad.

 

http://www.autismkey.com/special-education-an-overlooked-factor-to-the-newtown-tragedy/

 

 

 

 
12-19-2012 at 9:41 AM
malcivar
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Being the parent of a little one who I put on a bus every day to go somewhere I can't see for several hours a day and trust that he'll be safe, the events in Newtown have affected me tremendously, so much so that I took a "media break" refusing to read or see anything about the story.  It's been a few days so now I'm starting to read.  I too share your sentiment, auntie - I wondered if the "system" failed Adam.  Everyone talks about gun control but all the gun control in the world wasn't going to help someone like Adam.  His mom probably went through all the proper channels to obtain her guns - then didn't secure them.  How could stricter gun control have stopped that?  

This article will probably be overlooked as everyone jumps on the gun control bandwagon but I feel that taking a harder look at the programs in place for these "quiet" "odd" kids might help prevent tragedies like this from occurring in the future.  


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12-19-2012 at 2:40 PM
MirandaHob...
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Auntie- have you seen the interview with the man who purports to have worked with Adam Lanza as a child? I don't know in what capacity (and I can't even remember what channel/what show it was on- there have been so many)- but he was asked directly if the system "failed" Adam and he said that it couldn't have while he was in school; that the school was small and kept such a watchful eye on him because he was a target for bullys, but that to his knowledge, he wasn't bullied. He went on to suggest that the system failed Adam when he was discharged from school and no one was there to keep tabs on him, illustrating what could the "other" "other" side of the problem- what happens when adults with autism age out of the system. I am not saying the man's remarks were reliable at all, or that the school system didn't in fact fail his special education needs. Someone in my office was going off in a tirade about how "it's the families fault for not watching their children with mental illness" and I had to walk away. I'm sure you've read the article "I am Adam Lanza's Mother"- it's just heartbreaking.
 
12-19-2012 at 3:28 PM
smiling76
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GREAT thoughts ladies!!!!  I totally agree.  The guns were legal--maybe not "his" but still...legal all the way.  It was Adam who killed that day and I've wondered the same thing--- if he supposedly had such issues as I'm sure he did--- what was being done about them?  I'd like to know if there are any medical records about medication or a psycholigist that he was seeing.  I mean, even the Colorado shooter was seeing a psychologist and it obviously didn't help--but still. 

I haven't seen that article about the mom--I'll have to look for it.  There are sooooo many victims in this case--it's horrible.  Obviously my biggest heartfelt thoughts go to the children and teachers---OMG--just horrible.  BUT at the same time, I have to feel bad for his mother--because for all we know, she could have been one of us at some point.  Mom of a youngster who has issues.  And things went terribly bad as he got older.  And I feel bad for him (in a strange way--and by no means do I mean this as a disrespect for the victims--and certainly think he was a hurtful person)--but I feel bad that it came to that day.  That he felt to "be someone" --that he had to do something that horrendous. 

I was listening to a sirius xm show last night with Dr Drew and it was exactly aboutly what pp said--what happens AFTER school--- and how good are the mental health programs.  And a mom called and said she's even taken her very abusive teenager to the hospital and have called the cops before and they say until he's commited a crime, we can't get him help.  SERIOUSLY?!  Well, he's been making threats--but yet, they wouldn't do anything.  I couldn't believe it. 


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12-19-2012 at 8:10 PM
JaysonandK...
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As much as I believe the system is broken.  And, as much as I believe that there are resources that should be made available, this blog entry just comes off as whiny and entitled.

HOMESCHOOL.  Seriously?!?!  This family has the FREEDOM of homeschool and they waste time whining.  So?!?  The kid can't use the chem lab or the gym.  You're telling me that there are no other places this kid can go?  It's Seattle for crying out loud, not Podunk, Nebraska (no offense).  

There are no Y's available for use?  There are no science museums?  Your kid can't train to become a docent at a history museum?  Your kid doesn't have to be relegated to just staring at a computer screen for an education.  If he does it's because that's what YOU'VE chosen for him.  Don't blame the school system for that.

I just don't get it.  We've been dealt a crap hand by not quite making it in mainstream.  Isn't that a clue that conservative teaching methods are failing our kid?  Let's do something about THAT.  The school system isn't working, we have an opportunity to teach in another fashion.  But, no, let's just sit our kid in front of a screen because the school system (that isn't doing us any favors) says we should?

This just isn't my perspective on life in general.  I have a hard time commiserating with this author.  As it relates to Lanza and Sandy Hook, I won't comment.  I will however stand by my statement that this woman is not taking advantage of the freedom that her current situation is allowing her and her child. 


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12-19-2012 at 9:25 PM
Assembly_R...
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Here's my other question regarding his mother. If you had misgivings about the mental state of your child, WITF would you have weapons in your home?? I don't care how scared of armageddon you are. This makes no kind of sense to me....

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12-20-2012 at 6:18 AM
-auntie-
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malcivar:

Being the parent of a little one who I put on a bus every day to go somewhere I can't see for several hours a day and trust that he'll be safe, the events in Newtown have affected me tremendously, so much so that I took a "media break" refusing to read or see anything about the story.  It's been a few days so now I'm starting to read.    

Good for you recognizing that you needed to step away from this for a time.

 
12-20-2012 at 6:38 AM
-auntie-
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MirandaHobbes:
Auntie- have you seen the interview with the man who purports to have worked with Adam Lanza as a child? I don't know in what capacity (and I can't even remember what channel/what show it was on- there have been so many)- but he was asked directly if the system "failed" Adam and he said that it couldn't have while he was in school; that the school was small and kept such a watchful eye on him because he was a target for bullys, but that to his knowledge, he wasn't bullied.

Was it the man who ran the tech club at the high school? Who, btw, was the school custodian. Not that I have anything against custodians, but it speaks volumes about a school when the person who most "gets" a vulnerable student isn't even an educator.

Small doesn't always = a good fit for a quirky kid. My DS did better the bigger the school because it had a greater range of ppers with which he might find something in common.

I have no doubt he was watched closely, but adults are seldom as aware of bullying as they should be. For one thing, often kids on spectrum aren't even aware they're being picked on. Or they're so upset by the experience they refuse to talk about it because of the way it brings back the bad feelings.LMAO, I've had some of DS's teachers and administrators insist he wasn't bullied. I have hard copies of facebook videos of kids doing imitations of DS and commenting on his weirdness I have had to share with them. Seriously.

 He went on to suggest that the system failed Adam when he was discharged from school and no one was there to keep tabs on him, illustrating what could the "other" "other" side of the problem- what happens when adults with autism age out of the system.

He didn't age out. He was 20; he could have still been a special education student getting transition services to prepare him to be successful in college and the workplace. I pass the school van at the local community college that has students with ASD, EBD and other dxs taking a few classes before returning to the high school to work on whatever transition issues they have.

It seems like his mom pulled him out. Given the high level of supervision he would have required, I'm guessing she was unhappy with his IEP/Section 504. This is all confidential stuff, but I know parents who have done the same because a school wanted to change an IEP classfication to a EBD or place a student in a self-contained classroom where the parents assumed the academics would be watered down. Even if she did home school him, she would have been able to access IEP services if they were offered. I'm guessing the school didn't offer what the mother considered appropriate services.

I am not saying the man's remarks were reliable at all, or that the school system didn't in fact fail his special education needs. Someone in my office was going off in a tirade about how "it's the families fault for not watching their children with mental illness" and I had to walk away. I'm sure you've read the article "I am Adam Lanza's Mother"- it's just heartbreaking.

Gotta love when someone whose never walked the walk weighs in with an opinion. Mental illness is hard. Especially when an adult child develops something later and can refuse treatment. Then what?

There's quite a bit of controversy over the author of "I am Adam Lanza's Mother"- credible sources have called her an AW of the lowest order.

http://gawker.com/5968983/writer-of-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-blog-post-criticized-as-unfit-mother-with-own-history-of-violent-tendencies-mental-illness

 

 

 
12-20-2012 at 6:54 AM
-auntie-
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JaysonandKristin:

As much as I believe the system is broken.  And, as much as I believe that there are resources that should be made available, this blog entry just comes off as whiny and entitled.

Seriously? Entitled is correct. Every child between the ages of 3 and 21 is entitled to a free and appropriate public education. It's a law called the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act.

HOMESCHOOL.  Seriously?!?!  This family has the FREEDOM of homeschool and they waste time whining.  So?!?  The kid can't use the chem lab or the gym.  You're telling me that there are no other places this kid can go?  It's Seattle for crying out loud, not Podunk, Nebraska (no offense).  

There are no Y's available for use?  There are no science museums?  Your kid can't train to become a docent at a history museum?  Your kid doesn't have to be relegated to just staring at a computer screen for an education.  If he does it's because that's what YOU'VE chosen for him.  Don't blame the school system for that.

I have seen the fall out from homeschooling a child on spectrum. It isn't pretty. And by family, we're talking a single mom alone with adult who can disregard her choices if he wants to. Parenting a 20 year old has very different challenges than parenting toddlers as you are.

And for the record, a homeschooled (or privately schooled) child could access many of the resources available in district. I know homeschooled students who play on sports teams, in bands and who get special education services like speech therapy and transition to employemnt support.

I just don't get it.  We've been dealt a crap hand by not quite making it in mainstream.  Isn't that a clue that conservative teaching methods are failing our kid?  Let's do something about THAT.  The school system isn't working, we have an opportunity to teach in another fashion.  But, no, let's just sit our kid in front of a screen because the school system (that isn't doing us any favors) says we should?

You are entitled to you opinion, but I'm not sure this is the platform in to debate it. Most of us have child with special needs who will require the sorts of services and supports you are accusing the blogger of whining about. Are you a parent or sibling of someone with special needs? Are you on spectrum yourself? Your views are very similar to those held by some adults with Aspergers who participate in my forums.

This just isn't my perspective on life in general.  I have a hard time commiserating with this author.  As it relates to Lanza and Sandy Hook, I won't comment.  I will however stand by my statement that this woman is not taking advantage of the freedom that her current situation is allowing her and her child. 

 
12-20-2012 at 9:16 AM
hopanka
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BINGO, Assembly! Wtf do you need such a military arsenal at home for?? One regular pistol for home protection, fine. But what this woman had in her home is appaling. and you can say all you want that guns are not the issue here. Truth is, a mentally ill 20 year old would not be able to cause such a massacre with a kitchen knife or even with one regular hand gun. The type of weapons any old person can get their hands on in this country is maddening. this is a coming from a born and raised European...trust me, it IS possible to live without assault rifles in your home and still make it! The ban on these types of weapons cant come soon enough.
 
12-20-2012 at 10:23 AM
ridesbutto...
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^^^

I'd be willing to bet that the mom in this tragic picture enjoyed her guns because they gave her a feeling of power in a life that she felt powerless over.  Owning the guns, shooting the guns, even buying the guns made her feel strong and in control.

Of course, she eventually will just fade into another notch in the statistic that demonstrates a person who has a gun in the home is more likely to be shot than someone who does not have a gun in the home.

It is a real shame, because she would have been so much better off taking a martial arts course, or boxing or even yoga to build that inner self confidence and sense of personal power.  And of course, had there been no guns in that home there is every likelihood that none of us would ever have known the name "Adam Lanza".


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12-20-2012 at 1:13 PM
Assembly_R...
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I am not questioning the military arsenal per se.

But I am thinking that she didn't feel any sort of threat regarding him. If she did, don't you think she would have stored them better or removed them from the house?

Legit or not, even the "I am AL's mother" stored her knives in a tupperware container in her car......


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