I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately. Zachary has been keeping me busy! :)
Where are you in your PAL journey?
Zachary is 10mo now! I can't believe how fast this year has gone.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
I have been really missing Ian a lot. Seeing how much Zachary has been learning really makes me realize just how much I have lost with Ian.
Ever since Zachary has been born I have been struggling with the thought that I could never get frustrated or upset with Zachary or anything at all because I am so blessed to have him. Every time someone would ask me how I was doing the only response I could give was that I was doing great. How could I not be? I have Zachary here so I have no right to complain about anything. I would even feel jealous of my DH bc he is able to show frustration when Zachary is being fussy or doesn't sleep. I cannot allow myself to have a "bad" day. When I start to get over tired or frustrated I feel guilty about it and remind myself that this is what I wanted.
Then last week I went to a parenting group. One of the mothers there had struggled with infertility for a long time. She told me that she struggles with the same feelings that I do. (it's so nice to know I'm not crazy! Lol!) Anyway, she told me that what helps her is thinking that she wants her DD to be able to see that it is okay to be upset and frustrated. To show her that no one is perfect and that is okay!
OMG!!! This hit me so hard! I would hate to think that I was teaching Zachary that it is not okay to be upset and frustrated! I need him to see that I'm not perfect so that he doesn't think that I expect perfection from him!
I am still struggling with these feelings somewhat but it has gotten a lot better. For the first time I feel like I don't have to hide behind a mask. I'm not perfect. That's okay. I'm doing my best and that's all I could ask of myself.
QOTW: Do you have anything special planned for the holidays for your LOs this year?
I'm so excited for Zachay's first Christmas! I know that he will be more interested in the paper and boxes than the presents but it will be so much fun to just watch him! I I don't really have anything really special planned for him, but it will be wonderful including him in all our family traditions.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Christmas! It will be busy and exhausting but I am looking forward to it. :)