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12-19-2012 at 11:25 AM
iarhyme
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does your LO sleep in their own room?

My DD is almost 9 months.  She still sleeps in her crib in our room. She wakes up every two hours and is a terrible sleeper so ive been keeping her in there because the only way to calm her down is breastfeeding.  I really want to transition now into moving her into her own room. Any advice for me? 
 
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12-19-2012 at 11:33 AM
Mama2TwoBo...
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Every two hours seems excessive to me. A baby at that age should be able to STTN and not have to wake up for food reasons. It sounds like your bigger issue is the sleep problems, and not really what room she's in. Moving rooms only to have to nurse her somewhere else might not be a solution to your lack of sleep. 

Is she teething? Does she have an ear infection, or is sick?

Is she just a light sleeper, and gets woken up by someone's snoring, or rustling?

One thing that I thought was totally bogus, but has worked, is to give DS a bowl of oatmeal before bed. He inhales the gerber banana oatmeal like he's never eaten before :) Maybe try a nice bowl of solids right before bed to help tide her over longer.
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12-19-2012 at 11:37 AM
iarhyme
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I know she should be able to STTN but she isnt:( its so hard for me, im exhausted. Shes always waking up and then starts crying really loud and only feeding her soothes her back to sleep.  I want to get away from feeding her at night but she just cries so loud in the middle of the night when she awakes we just want her to calm down and sleep.  Two bottom teeth are already out, so im not sure if more are coming? shes been like this forever. Always a light sleeper and when she moves even slightly she wakes herself up and then the crying starts. She also doesnt want to be in her crib and even when i think shes alseep and put her down she cries again until i pick her up. Its so tough i have no idea what to do.
 
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12-19-2012 at 11:42 AM
HilarityEn...
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I agree with PP.  Every 2 hours is nuts at 9 months old.  When you feed her in the middle of the night, is she taking a full feeding every time?  Or just sort of pacifying herself?

FWIW, DS sleeps in his own room and has since day 1.  No one sleeps well when we are all in the same room.  The times we've had to share a room on vacation or whatever have been disastrous. 

How long are you letting her "cry" or try to fuss.  9 months old is plenty old enough to implement some sleep training.  What method you choose is up to you.  Teething is not likely to cause that level of sleep disruption.

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12-19-2012 at 11:51 AM
Mama2TwoBo...
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Hugs! I can only imagine how tired you are!

I wouldn't be surprised if more teeth are coming in. Try giving her some tylenol before bed.

If you do decide to switch her to her own room right now, just know that a few rough days will be head of you, and totally normal while she adjusts.  It sounds like if she is a light sleeper, her own room might be better. 

Do you have a white noise machine? Like one that plays ocean noises, or baby music?  Even a somewhat noisy fan can work. It might help lull her back to sleep if she wakes a little at night. If you can stand sleeping with it, maybe try it in your room, and have it as part of what can carry over and soothe her when you change rooms.

We have a lights & music mobile type of thing that attaches to the side of the crib, it's rainforest themed. It plays nature sounds and music. It helps block out any noises of us sneaking out of his room once DS is in his crib, or even his noisy brother during daytime naps.

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12-19-2012 at 11:58 AM
mabenner1
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DS has been in his room since day 2 at home. DH, the dog, and I made too much noise for DS to stay asleep, and he made too much noise for me to stay asleep.  I would get her transitioned out as soon as you can, and it may help with the sleepless nights.
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12-19-2012 at 11:59 AM
Helenahhan...
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Wow that sounds tough.

We moved DD into her crib right before I went back to work, so she was just about 12 weeks old?  She's been a good sleeper for us so I am afraid I don't have too much advice on how to get your LO to sleep longer. 

What I will add is that I know when DD was in our room I would jump at every whimper or cry-- and sometimes I didn't need to because she wound up settling herself after a minute or two. You might need to do that-- maybe try not jumping up every time she stirs.  She shouldn't need every 2 hours at this point, so likely she just needs to learn to settle herself.

If she eventually is able to settle herself the transition to her own room might be easier on the both of you.  Good luck.

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12-19-2012 at 12:05 PM
acaudill75
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You are definitely going to have to get LO out of your room. It isn't working. LO at nine months should be sleeping for like 12 hours with maybe one feeding during that time. Of course, that will vary with each child. Are you only BF'ing? Could LO be hungry? If she isn't hungry, wet, or sick, talk to your pediatrician. If there isn't a physical reason for her sleeping so little, then you may be the problem. If you are picking her up every time she cries, you are reinforcing that "bad" behavior. Its not your fault, but you shouldn't keep doing it. DD2 goes right to sleep for DH, but with me, she wants to be rocked and tends to wake up when I put her in the crib and I have to pat her on the back and stop her crying. She doesn't do it all the time, but I know she is doing it to get me to stay, and its that sort of manipulation that if you keep encouraging it, it will never end. Babies are don't understand the bad side to manipulation yet, but they are masters at it. Teach her to self soothe, with a noise machine like a PP said, or a pacifier, which is what she is probably treating your boob as. Good Luck.
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12-19-2012 at 12:29 PM
kbruington
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My LO has been in his own room since he was 3 months old. Bite the bullet and make the move. It will be hard but you can teach her to be independent and sleep away from you. At this age it will be tough because she's so used to your current routine. There are other ways to soothe her besides breastfeeding which is all she knows right now. GL.
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12-19-2012 at 12:32 PM
kbruington
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iarhyme:
I know she should be able to STTN but she isnt:( its so hard for me, im exhausted. Shes always waking up and then starts crying really loud and only feeding her soothes her back to sleep.  I want to get away from feeding her at night but she just cries so loud in the middle of the night when she awakes we just want her to calm down and sleep.  Two bottom teeth are already out, so im not sure if more are coming? shes been like this forever. Always a light sleeper and when she moves even slightly she wakes herself up and then the crying starts. She also doesnt want to be in her crib and even when i think shes alseep and put her down she cries again until i pick her up. Its so tough i have no idea what to do.

Of course she doesn't like her crib now but you have to teach her that's where she sleeps. My best advice is be consistent. Be prepared for tears and a big fit because she doesn't want to change the way things are. If you lay her down and she cries and you pick her right back up then she has you! She knows that's all she has to do and you will cave every time. Be strong and consistent. Maybe find a sleep training technique you are comfortable with and stick with it. It might take a week or 2 because she's a bit older but you can make this happen!
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12-19-2012 at 12:53 PM
MollySm
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Has she always been in your room? We transitioned our daughter at 2the months, because everytime one of us moved or rolled over, she would wake up. She sleeps much better in her own, quiet room.
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12-19-2012 at 1:04 PM
brideinsum...
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I can commiserate bc my 11 month old is the same way. Actually he is getting worse and worse. Last night he was up every 40 minutes for the first five hours of sleep. I will say be careful about the crib in LO's room. Bc I tried forcing it and did pat and shush technique and now he hates the crib more than ever and I can't even put him down in there for a few minutes without him having a total meltdown. Before he was at least starting the night in there. I'm kicking myself now. I've read 11 sleep books and still don't have the answer for my baby. Whatever you try, be consistent and try for three days. Lots of people swear by CIO but I did it for 2 1/2 hours and three days before giving up. My pediatrician said it doesn't work for all babies. Good luck!
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12-19-2012 at 1:15 PM
JWSchwarz
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There is a really good chance he really is hungry. DS did this at 7 months and i mentioned it to the lactation consultant at our pedi's office. She said "that poor little thing is hungry! Give him a bottle before bed and pump". I was skeptical but i did it and found i had a way reduced supply at night. He downed a 5 oz bottle and then only woke up once: hereally was hungry. By the 3rd night doing this he STTN.

I then brought my supply up and would feed him then supplement 2oz, then go pump. So i can just feed him directly now and he STTN.
You could use previously pumped milk or formula. I don't think one keeps them full longer as some people say.
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12-19-2012 at 1:34 PM
ninthgirl
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You said she's always been this way and the only way to calm her down is nursing?  Sounds like a sleep association problem - your little one associates nursing with sleep and can't sleep without nursing (and you!).  The plus side is she loves you and she loves to nurse.  The downside is you're both exhausted.  Her fragmented sleep is also probably causing further wake-ups because she's overtired from never getting a long stretch of sleep just like you are!

I'd implement some sleep training.  It doesn't have to be just leaving her to cry or even the Ferber method.  You can try the Sleep Lady Shuffle (at this age you're going to want to minimize interaction for it to work) or some form of the No Cry Sleep Solution - the Pantley Pull-Off would be a good way to get rid of the nursing-to-sleep association and then you could work on moving her to her crib.  These things will take a few to several weeks to work.  Or you could do a more intensive method like Ferber or a variant like that from the Sleepeasy Solution or extinction CIO (the fastest) if you all want sleep fast.  But if you aren't comfortable with having her cry with minimal comfort then there are lots of other options.

I'd also make sure she has an appropriate nap schedule.  A 9 month old should have 9.5-10 hours or so awake total in a 24 hour period - maybe a little more if she's always been alert, maybe a little less if she's always been sleepy.  Since she has fragmented overnight sleep you want to go conservative on the daytime wake ups and you might temporarily need an early bedtime.  She should get no more than 3 hours of nap sleep.

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12-19-2012 at 1:44 PM
mexicolomb...
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We kept our 1st DD in our room for about 9 months, then moved her to a crib.  She was actually a pretty decent sleeper and would wake 1-2 times to eat but not always.  Around 8 months she stopped waking in the night and we moved her to a crib in a room just steps away from us so we could still hear her. 

Now w/DD #2 she's 11 months old and she's still in our room because she wakes the toddler and the toddler wakes her and it's a big disaster.  Soon they'll be sharing a room.

Anyway DD sleeps in a pack n play in our room and does just fine- usually.  She is BF and goes down around 8:30.  Then when we come up to bed around 11 p.m. she sometimes wakes up because she is the world's lightest sleeper.  I hate noise machines so we don't use them.  And anyway I tried once and it didn't matter.

Last night was a disaster, she was up every 2 hours but this is not a normal night.  She had a slight fever and was just being needy and fussy.  Babies get like this sometimes.

I do agree w/PPs that she shouldn't be waking so often.  I can't imagine our disaster of a night last night being a norm.  I would die.  So, I agree some kind of sleep training is in order! But I don't believe in CIO at all, so I would suggest that you sit in the other room with her in a chair, nurse her and just try putting her in the crib, over and over until it works.  It's going to suck a lot.  Good luck!

 
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12-19-2012 at 3:19 PM
kbruington
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mexicolombiana:

We kept our 1st DD in our room for about 9 months, then moved her to a crib.  She was actually a pretty decent sleeper and would wake 1-2 times to eat but not always.  Around 8 months she stopped waking in the night and we moved her to a crib in a room just steps away from us so we could still hear her. 

Now w/DD #2 she's 11 months old and she's still in our room because she wakes the toddler and the toddler wakes her and it's a big disaster.  Soon they'll be sharing a room.

Anyway DD sleeps in a pack n play in our room and does just fine- usually.  She is BF and goes down around 8:30.  Then when we come up to bed around 11 p.m. she sometimes wakes up because she is the world's lightest sleeper.  I hate noise machines so we don't use them.  And anyway I tried once and it didn't matter.

Last night was a disaster, she was up every 2 hours but this is not a normal night.  She had a slight fever and was just being needy and fussy.  Babies get like this sometimes.

I do agree w/PPs that she shouldn't be waking so often.  I can't imagine our disaster of a night last night being a norm.  I would die.  So, I agree some kind of sleep training is in order! But I don't believe in CIO at all, so I would suggest that you sit in the other room with her in a chair, nurse her and just try putting her in the crib, over and over until it works.  It's going to suck a lot.  Good luck!

 

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12-19-2012 at 4:27 PM
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DS is the same age...and is also in our room in his crib.

He still BFs at least once per night, sometimes as many as 4 times. 

A few weeks ago we all had colds and I had a cough that was keeping DH up and waking DS, so I decided to sleep in another room...I slept in the other room for 3 nights, and DS slept through each night. 

We will be moving him to his own room in a couple weeks, once we have painted and gotten new carpet for his room. (This is with the caveat that he will not be nightweaned until age 1, and if he is waking 2-4 times per night he will come back to our room...)

Could you temporarily sleep on the sofa/in a guest room? If your LO doesn't wake as much (or STTN) when you are not nearby, then I would strongly consider moving her to her own room.

As for actually making the transition, I was just going to move the crib, do the bedtime routine, and hope for the best...but I don't actually have any experience transitioning.

 
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12-19-2012 at 5:38 PM
skibunny59
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iarhyme:
I know she should be able to STTN but she isnt:( its so hard for me, im exhausted. Shes always waking up and then starts crying really loud and only feeding her soothes her back to sleep.  I want to get away from feeding her at night but she just cries so loud in the middle of the night when she awakes we just want her to calm down and sleep.  Two bottom teeth are already out, so im not sure if more are coming? shes been like this forever. Always a light sleeper and when she moves even slightly she wakes herself up and then the crying starts. She also doesnt want to be in her crib and even when i think shes alseep and put her down she cries again until i pick her up. Its so tough i have no idea what to do.

Your DD sounds exactly like my DD who is also 9 months old.  Honestly, I'm not sure how often she wakes up because she spends most of the night in bed with me and I usually am able to sleep while she nurses.  Are you sure she's really eating?  I know that my DD really just likes to sleep with my nipple in her mouth.  I have nursed her to sleep since she was a newborn so now she just associates that with going to sleep.  

She starts the night out in the crib but ends up in our bed.  Honestly, I've learned to not stress about it and let it go.  DH and I both work fulltime and we've realized that this is how we get the most sleep.
 
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12-19-2012 at 6:42 PM
Nel11
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PP have given you good advice.  I'm sorry you are going through this; I would die if my LO woke up every 2 hours every night.  A few thoughts:

 1.  I second a PP idea of giving a pumped (or formula if you can't/won't pump) bottle before bed.  This way you are ensuring DD has a full belly, and you will know exactly how much she took and when so you can judge if she might actually be hungry.  Also, try to pay attention to how many nursing sessions/solids she has during the day so you can gauge whether or not she is eating enough during the day.

2.  I would strongly consider moving her into her own room.  I know co-sleeping, etc works well for some, but it would be a disaster on all sides for us.  The 3 of us would wake each other up all night.  Plus, I need my "me" time and time with just my husband without worrying about waking LO up.

3.  If she has always been like this it is probably not teething, ear infection, etc.  Check with your pedi if you suspect something is up, but unless this is a new thing it's probably habit.  Do some research on different sleep training methods and pick one you are comfortable with.  Start small- maybe work on getting her to sleep for 1 4 hour stretch and work from there. 

 GL!  

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12-19-2012 at 11:21 PM
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Oh my god, you took the words out of my mouth! My LO is the same way. DS is 9 mo and right now we bed share. DS associates rocking and nursing to sleep. I feel so helpless. I am 90 ready to sleep train even if it means CIO I am getting desperate but I am not getting support from husband and our families our background culture, as far as I know and have been observing doesn't believe in sleep training and they sort of just tell me to suck it up for a year or so when I try to seek out advice. I feel exhausted and alone. To top it off, we just moved to a new apartment and am now embarrassed when LO cries at night and our neighbours can hear him

Sorry I am no help, but wanted to let you know you ate not alone. I'd love to hear people's suggestions too.
 
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12-20-2012 at 9:44 AM
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kbruington:
mexicolombiana:

We kept our 1st DD in our room for about 9 months, then moved her to a crib.  She was actually a pretty decent sleeper and would wake 1-2 times to eat but not always.  Around 8 months she stopped waking in the night and we moved her to a crib in a room just steps away from us so we could still hear her. 

Now w/DD #2 she's 11 months old and she's still in our room because she wakes the toddler and the toddler wakes her and it's a big disaster.  Soon they'll be sharing a room.

Anyway DD sleeps in a pack n play in our room and does just fine- usually.  She is BF and goes down around 8:30.  Then when we come up to bed around 11 p.m. she sometimes wakes up because she is the world's lightest sleeper.  I hate noise machines so we don't use them.  And anyway I tried once and it didn't matter.

Last night was a disaster, she was up every 2 hours but this is not a normal night.  She had a slight fever and was just being needy and fussy.  Babies get like this sometimes.

I do agree w/PPs that she shouldn't be waking so often.  I can't imagine our disaster of a night last night being a norm.  I would die.  So, I agree some kind of sleep training is in order! But I don't believe in CIO at all, so I would suggest that you sit in the other room with her in a chair, nurse her and just try putting her in the crib, over and over until it works.  It's going to suck a lot.  Good luck!

 

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12-20-2012 at 11:54 AM
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Yes she sleeps in her crib in her room. We moved her when she was 2 months old. I wasn't getting much sleep when she was in our room.
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12-20-2012 at 12:03 PM
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Yes, he sleeps in his own room. He was waking just as often as your LO was at 6m and we moved him. Then he magically started STTN. I don't know if it was the room or if he was just ready to STTN, but moving him to his own room was a complete lifesaver for us.
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12-20-2012 at 12:24 PM
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DD has been in her room since just before 6 months of age...our pediatrician said to us that everyone will sleep better...and it's true.  I wonder, though, will you be able to let her CIO as you transition - that was super challenging for me.  Sometimes we have our blips, but in general, she does well in her own place.  As the PP suggested...is there any medically based issue that might be contributing to her sleep patterns?
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12-20-2012 at 4:54 PM
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We moved DD2 to her room right at 6 months.  She STTN from 2 months to 6 months totally on her own.  Then it all went to crap.  She started waking up a lot, so I figured that I might as well move her to her room since she's not sleeping well anyway.  Since then, it's been hit and miss.  Sometimes she STTN, sometimes she's up once or twice to nurse.  Sometimes we go through a few disaster nights and she's up every hour or two.  I usually just go in and nurse her when she wakes up.  I've tried sending DH in, but she just cries and cries until I come in.  Only thing I can say is that having been through this once already, they do eventually start sleeping better.  My first was the world's worst sleeper and right around a year started STTN on her own and pretty much has ever since.  I didn't ever sleep train because it's not for me.

Hang in there, it gets better, I promise!
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12-26-2012 at 11:48 PM
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I just feel the need to chime in and say that there's nothing wrong with you for nursing her at night and there's nothing wrong with her for wanting to nurse at night and wake up so often. I know PPs were trying to be helpful, but it came off a little harsh. I know I don't like hearing that my parenting choices are the "wrong" ones even if you are asking for advice.

There's no "rule" that says babies have to be STTN at any age, let alone by 9 months. My DD sleeps in the bed with us and wakes up at least 4 or more times a night to nurse. She doesn't just fall back asleep with the boob, she eats. She also only takes two short naps now. She sleeps on me and nurses to sleep every time. It's hard and draining, but I didn't expect it to be a cake-walk. I have tried CIO and like you said it just made her hate the crib even more. She vomits and chokes within 60 seconds every time. Just know you're not alone. Do what feels right to you for your family. She won't be a baby forever.
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12-27-2012 at 12:20 AM
Excited30
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Excited30 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 11:27 AMSilver
Yes she sleeps in her own room and has since 3.5 months old.
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