Hi bella,
First of all, sending you tons of cyber {{hugs}}
I'm 6w pp now, and my gosh, the tsunami of emotions that HIT me at the start was outrageous! I really was shocked by how hormonal I was, and I didn't even recognize myself! I cried everyday, cried about everything! I was worried about everything and there were nights I would stay up just watching baby M as I was just scared something bad would happen to him.
I was worried I would get PPD but I think it was just pp blues. I'm pretty sure MH thought I had PPD cuz he has never seen me cry so much. The first few weeks are just SO. HARD. I do hope you have other support, and PLEASE don't feel bad if you ask for help. And don't wait to call your OB if your symptoms get worse.
Now at 6w pp, I think this past week is the first time I did not cry every. single. day. Not that I'm scared or sad or what not, I just cried about everything - good or bad! I think my hormones are finally going back to normal.
And bella, don't forget that we are here for you! Don't be afraid to reach out to us as we have all gone through what you are going through. Be good to yourself and make sure you make time for yourself, even if it's just 10 minutes a day.