Great news...just confused...if money for an eval was an issue, why didn't BM and DH request the district to do one long time ago? Those are free, too, as you know.
Oh yes, I know. DH is full of excuses since SS doesn't live with us full time. I would say that is DH's biggest downfall is that doesn't like to fight with BM and usually that means he just accepts whatever she wants to do. He told BM about getting a school evaluation and she didn't think he needed it since he makes straight A's. She waivers back and forth between thinking it's just his ADHD and possibly thinking it's something else. He didn't want to tick her off so he wouldn't request one himself. I tried to get him to so many times. Part of the reason I stopped helping him when SS was in meltdown mode was to force him to "deal" with the results of their parental decisions. I knew she would never go get it done herself because she just had his ADHD meds upped at the pedi last month which shows me that she didn't describe his other behaviors to him and probably just said his meds aren't working anymore. She of course didn't tell DH she was taking him in for him to go and discuss it. We just found out when they came over and we noticed the dosage had changed from 3- 10 mg tablets to 2- 20 mg tablets. His behaviors are his normal and I think to them it is just something they deal with much like some of the "norms" we deal with for DD, but DH has admitted to me for years that he knows enough about ASDs to know that SS most likely could be diagnosed with one. To me, I see him not getting any better and not maturing at all and I worry about his future the same way I worry about DD. I often wonder if there is something else like bipolar going on as well.
Basically, there is no excuse for DH and BM's bad decisions on this and I'm glad there was finally some way that I could get the ball rolling and I knew she wouldn't say not to free (outside of the school) which meant DH wouldn't mind "asking" her. Which is part of the reason I hardly post anything about his issues because I already knew what I would hear...why isn't DH or BM doing anything. Truth being, I don't know. DH knows better. He has been to meetings at DD's school with me and he went through DD's initial eval with me so I know he's not afraid of anything except ticking BM off. He lets her walk all over him. My Ex was ticked when I got DD evaluated but I did it anyway. I can't make excuses for them and I don't want to. So I will type the dreaded words "if he were my son it would have been done by now" just like they have been said to DH so many times. I love him like he is mine I mean I've helped raise him for over 7 years but in these situations I can't treat him like I would my own because I have no authority to do so. I blame DH and BM both 100% for where we are today with him.