I feel your pain! I know you said you've tried a lot, so maybe these ideas are old, but this is what helped us:
1. DS can't stay awake more than about 2 to 2.5 hours, or he is a cranky mess. I watch the clock all day and make sure that he goes down on time. Some evenings get messed up b/c I don't put him down for naps after 5:00, and those are the hardest evenings. Yesterday and today I timed things better so that he was only up for 2.5 hours b/n his last nap and bedtime, and he was a lot more sociable this evening.
2. Around 5.5 months (I think) DS started waking up b/n sleep cycles and couldn't put himself back to sleep. I read SleepEasy and started doing it at 6 months. It has helped TREMENDOUSLY. He used to wake up at night constantly and cry until I gave him his paci, rocked him, etc. He was also waking up wanting a bottle b/n 3:30 and 4:30. I now put him down for bed b/n 7:00 and 8:00, give him a dream feed around 10:00, and he's good until 6:30 or so. He will still sometimes wake up or whine in between sleep cycles, but he's usually back to sleep within 2 minutes. He still wakes kind of early in the morning sometimes, but that is getting better.
3. One of the things they talk about in SleepEasy is weaning night feeds. We didn't have that issue, but from what I remember they advise getting the baby up an hour before she normally wakes for a feeding and offering an ounce less each night. I think you work on dropping one feeding at a time, so maybe start with the 2:00 bottle...give it at 1:00 and only give 4 oz the first night, 3 oz the 2nd night, etc. I am not sure on this, so I would consult the book if I were you. Also, see if you can up her day time feedings a little bit, even if you have to feed more frequently. This way if she gets her daily ounces in before she goes to bed, if she wakes in the middle of the night she doesn't really need to feed. (Of course, you'd still need to wean the night feedings rather than dropping them all together, but you know what I mean.)
I hope this helps! Hang in there!