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12-20-2012 at 8:56 AM
allclad13
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allclad13 is not online. Last active: 04-19-2013, 4:00 PMNewbie

Scared to finish the nursery

I thought you ladies might have some thoughts for me... It took me 3 years to conceive, some fertility treatment and 1 m/c.  It's been a long journey and I'm thrilled to be in the 3rd tri today! From other boards it seems that many people finish their baby's nursery in the 2nd and early in the 3rd Tri. Few people have the same hesitation as I do.

I'm a planner and I want to finish her nursery now, but I'm scared.  And I have the time to finish it over the holidays, I won't have as much time later on.  But what if something goes wrong with the baby and then I have this beautiful finished nursery and no baby? How have you all handled this, is anyone else superstitious about this?  On the other hand, I often feel like there's something to worry about at every stage, even after she's born and I have to get over it at some point.

 Thanks for your thoughts!


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12-20-2012 at 10:30 AM
TJ1979
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I'm sorry you're having so much anxiety. I know with IF there is always that feeling that the other shoe is going to drop. We don't have the luxury of naivete. But you're in 3rd tri now! You are past your V-day, so there is a very good likelihood that you are bringing home your take home baby. Maybe once you get started on it, the excitement will overcome the fear. Set small goals for yourself, like promise yourself you will have it painted by this weekend. Then promise yourself you will order or purchase furniture by New Years. Or whatever works for you. Just set mini goals, make a list and cross stuff off, and most importantly - have fun! My nursery wasn't complete until the day I went into labor. I guess I decided the room was done, might as well have a baby. But we did have it painted and furniture in place before 36 weeks. GL and hugs. If the anxiety gets overwhelming, you may want to talk to someone.

TTC with PCOS since November 2009
IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!





 
12-20-2012 at 10:50 AM
ELF4321
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IF definitely screws with your mind. For me, it was the opposite. I was obsessed with finishing the nursery because to me that meant that it was real and actually going to have a baby. The reality, of course, is that you will not have time or energy to work on it much longer. I say face your fears and get that room done!


Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
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12-20-2012 at 11:01 AM
TJ1979
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ELF4321:
IF definitely screws with your mind. For me, it was the opposite. I was obsessed with finishing the nursery because to me that meant that it was real and actually going to have a baby. The reality, of course, is that you will not have time or energy to work on it much longer. I say face your fears and get that room done!

Very good point!  The further along you get, the harder it's going to be physically to do the work. 


TTC with PCOS since November 2009
IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!





 
12-20-2012 at 11:15 AM
TXwife9
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TJ1979:

ELF4321:
IF definitely screws with your mind. For me, it was the opposite. I was obsessed with finishing the nursery because to me that meant that it was real and actually going to have a baby. The reality, of course, is that you will not have time or energy to work on it much longer. I say face your fears and get that room done!

Very good point!  The further along you get, the harder it's going to be physically to do the work. 

I agree completely. At the same time, we didn't start using DD's nursery until she was 3 months old because she slept in a bassinet in our room. So, if you don't get everything done before LO arrives, don't stress!


P001

TTC #1 since 8/09, Dx MFI 4/10
IUI #1: 6/10 = Cancelled, IUI #2: 7/10 = Cancelled, IVF #1: 9/10 = BFP
Baby girl arrived - 6/14/11

TTC #2
IVF #2 - Oct/Nov 2012: 14 eggs retrieved / 9 fertilized
11/5 - eSET - 7 Frosties - BFP!
Beta #1 11/14: 147, Beta #2 11/16: 358;
EDD 7/24/13 - It's a girl!

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12-20-2012 at 12:40 PM
Dragonfly1...
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I totally felt the same way! But after V Day (24 weeks) we had to bite the bullet and get started. Like PPs said, you're not going to feel up to the work for much longer. Try to enjoy it!


Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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3/12 - CD3 labs show elevated estrogen levels. FET cycle on hold until cycles can be regulated.
5/12 - CD3 labs finally show normal estrogen, slightly elevated FSH. Currently on BCP and Lupron for FET #1. Transfer scheduled for June!
6/12 - FET #1 - Cancelled due to sucky lining
7/12 - FET #1.2 - Cancelled again
8/12 - Forced Break
9/12 - Natural FET #1.3 - BFP! Beta #1 (15dp3dt) - 1663 Beta #2 (17dp3dt) - 3500 - First u/s at 6 weeks showed twins! Please stick, little ones! U/S at 19 weeks shows it's two girls!!!
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12-20-2012 at 3:51 PM
RoseHQ12
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I am sorry you are feeling like this, the joy's of IF unfortunately.  BUT you are in the homestretch & the odd's are in your favor, that you will have a beautiful bundle of joy to take home, in the not to distant future.  If you are a planner it will drive you nut's if you don't have thing's the way you would like them to be & you will be running out of steam toward the end of your pregnancy.

TTC on our own for many years finally moved on to IF treatment,diagnosis for me, ovaries with PCO appearance, hypothyroidism, DH MFI, IUI 1-3 BFN moved on to IVF, IVF #1 BFP! No frosties :( B/G twins born 10/12/11. IVF #2 August 2012, BFP ended in cp :( FET November, BFFN. IVF #3 at CC.RM Antagonist low stim protocol with CCS testing, ER 4/23/13, 21R, 18M, 14F. 8 day 5 & 2 day 6 blasts biopsied & frozen. CCS results 4 normals 5AA, 5AB, 5AB, 5BB, 2 no result 5BB, 4BB. FET scheduled 6/17/13 provided TSH & lining in check :) Lilypie Second Birthday tickers  
12-20-2012 at 9:36 PM
allclad13
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Thank you for your pep talk everyone that i can/should keep working on the nursery.  To hear from other IFers is so helpful!

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12-20-2012 at 10:28 PM
Saraevh
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Girl, I felt the SAME way you do with BOTH of my kids. With my daughter I ordered everything for her nursery but didn't set anything up. I never took the tags off of any gifts from my baby shower either. I left everything in the boxes/bags and told my husband I didn't want to set anything up or get anything out because we were moving (so he wouldn't think I was crazy)!  I only bought one box of diapers and wipes ... it was insane. Then she ended up being born at 36 weeks and I had nothing ready! I didn't even have any outfits washed so my MIL had to wash stuff and bring it to the hospital. I blamed things not being done on the fact that she was a month early, so nobody questioned my insanity. 

 Fast forward to my son and I did the same.damn.thing.  Only this time we were in our new house, so I had no excuses, but just told my husband that I didn't want to paint and stuff when I was pregnant and that I'd finish it during the summer when I could open the windows and air out the house.  I told DH I wasn't going to order bedding and stuff until I figured out a theme.  Thankfully he never asked any additional questions or he would have checked me into the looney bin!  I was a bit better this time around.  I bought clothes and stuff ahead of time, but again, didn't take the tags off until he was home!  I remember only washing two outfits to pack in my hospital bag and that was it. 

 I also used the excuse that both of them would be sleeping in our room for the first few months, so the nursery didn't really need to be done ... which was true, but my fear was the real reason I didn't want to get anything done.   

Pregnancy after IF (and I was high risk with my DD for PTL stuff) really eff'd with my head big time.  I totally can relate to your feelings.  Looking back it makes me sad to think that I let anxiety completely take the joy out of pregnancy for me, but it was something I couldn't shake.  Everyone is right ... you are in the home stretch, but don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.  If you want to wait on things because it will make you feel better, wait.  It will get done eventually! 

Good luck! 


Me: (29) Endo, LPD and DOR
DH: (30) MFI across the board
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12-21-2012 at 1:01 PM
queenbone
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Here's my 2 cents, albeit morbid. If you have the time now I would finish it over the holidays. At this point in your gestation your odds of bringing home a baby are so high so I would try to keep as positive thoughts as possible.  Big Smile God forbid something were to go wrong, wouldn't you still try again for a baby so your work wouldn't go to waste eventually.I can only imagine how hard it would be, but you could just keep the door to that finished room closed until you needed it again. But frankly, I think you WILL be needing it soon, so enjoy decorating, Momma!

Here's the morbid part, we waited too long to finish our nursery due to budget. Unfortunately, 3 weeks before my due date I found out my dad was really sick and might have cancer. Instead of spending the week with him, I was at my house while I had workers finishing installing cabinetry and flooring in the nursery. And then suddenly my dad was in the hospital and then he died. I was calling contractors from the hospital the day before he died. Then I had to run around town planning his funeral while the nursery sat unfinished. In hindsight I wish we had finished that nursery long in advance, you just never know what can happen. 


Married 9-4-04

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