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All Boards > High-Risk Pregnancy

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12-21-2012 at 10:12 AM
ericalee27
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Joined on 12-12-2004
Durham, NC
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ericalee27 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 8:30 AMBronze

Friends that don't get it (vent)

I've been pretty quiet with my non-local friends about my pre-e diagnosis and bedrest, simply becuase I just want to get through it and hopefully have everything come out ok on the other side.  DH let it slip on facebook the other day that I was at the hospital for monitoring last week, so now I have a bunch of people inquiring.  I PM'ed one friend about what was going on...her response "How exciting!  You are living such high drama!"

GAH?!?!?!?!

I guess in her defense she has not had children and doesn't know a lot about pregnancy, but I just want to rage.  Yes, how exciting to be totally terrified about your health and your child's health?!?! 

Bah humbug.
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12-21-2012 at 10:20 AM
MBush4
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Joined on 03-19-2012
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MBush4 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 2:01 PMBronze
I can sympathize. I don't have pre-e, but I do have GD and no one seems to understand what it means exactlt except a SIL whose mom had it with her younger brother (she was 14 when her brother was born so she remembers how her mom had to eat a certain way). It's really tricky with the holidays and everything because people want to celebrate with lots of sugary sweets and such but I can't eat any of it and so they think I'm being a spoil-sport... Sad
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12-21-2012 at 11:43 AM
Teacher Cl...
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Teacher Clark is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 12:05 AMSilver
Oh my, that would be frustrating. I really think people just don't know. Of the few people I have told all of them are parents, so thankfully they do get it. I'm fairly certain though, that there are some people in my life who really would have no idea. It's not their fault really, they just don't have a frame of reference so it's hard for them to relate.
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12-21-2012 at 1:34 PM
kelly321
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Joined on 09-30-2010
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kelly321 is online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 8:41 AMGold
I think I would respond with something like, "Well, exciting is one way to put it, I guess. I'm just hoping to avoid NICU time and other concerns that come with a preemie like compromised immunity, eating and growth issues, etc. I'd happily give up the drama for a boring, term baby." Maybe that will give her a little perspective...

BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w3d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence BFP Chart 
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12-21-2012 at 2:20 PM
santjust
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santjust is not online. Last active: 06-11-2013, 8:47 PMNewbie
I really can sympathize with you! I don't have pre- e but I do have GD and have kept it a complete secret. My mom and brother know but that's it. When I was diagnosed so early in the pregnancy and with my OB horrible bed side manor, my husband and I were expecting every week something else to go wrong. My only escape really is whenever I post here. As far as everyone else is concerned I was placed on a diet to monitor weight gain during my pregnancy.Its been really hard imagine nobody can come over unannounced because I have to hide all evidence of testing supplies, syringes and insulin.  Last week my closest friend( maid of honor) calls me and in the conversation begins to take about how great it is that I only gained 9 lbs and get to stay home now. I stayed quiet, later that night I emailed her a detailed account of everything from the early bleeding, to the Down syndrome scare and confessed about the GD, I just let it out and it kinda felt good. She called me crying the next morning when she read her email, apparently she had pre-e with her last pregnancy and had not told anyone as well. She screamed at me for not confiding in her and promised to keep my secret. I guess I just wanted you to know it happens and your DH most likely didn't mean to spill it on Facebook , it sounded harmless, and maybe talking about might make you feel better. Some friends just don't get it. Hang in there!
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12-21-2012 at 2:50 PM
Justinlove
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Joined on 02-16-2008
In the South
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Justinlove is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 8:27 AMSilver

santjust:
I really can sympathize with you! I don't have pre- e but I do have GD and have kept it a complete secret.

i am curious..why are you keeping it a secret?  

I have found that people have been very understanding.  Most sympathize about how it stinks with all of the holiday goodies that are around.  I teach and my Kindergartners know that I have to test my blood (I have to set alarms during the day to remember).  As a result of their kids sharing at home, I have had three moms contact me to share their GD experiences, tips and tricks.  My teammates even made sure to have some low carb options at our holiday party.  I guess my experience has been that, at least with GD, people have been very kind about it.
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12-21-2012 at 3:50 PM
santjust
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santjust is not online. Last active: 06-11-2013, 8:47 PMNewbie
I also teach. It  wouldn't  be appropriate for me to involve my class, when I test its discreet in the ladies room. I'm surrounded by very  opinionated people, some religious, others complete health nuts. And in my particular case all it would do is bring up questions of my LO health as I was diagnosed early in the pregnancy and had other complications as well none of which are my fault. Although we know our LO is healthy my DH family wouldn't be convinced that he is ok and continue to blame me for any health problems I have. It was our decision and yes the holidays are tough but so are parties even my shower ( catered event with beautiful cake I couldn't   eat) we  just deal with it.  I was sharing my story to show my support. 
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