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12-21-2012 at 9:26 AM
MirandaHob...
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MirandaHobbes is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 4:01 PMSilver

Ugh. Did I do a faux pas?

DS has about 25 people that care for him in a day because he has ASD and goes to both private and public preschools, and a variety of therapy classes. In the past I used to try to give gifts to everyone, all the therapists and aides and teachers and bus drivers, but it was nuts; basically 25+ people. This year I pulled back because it just seemed excessive. I gave cards and hand-written notes to everyone, but only gave gift cards to main teachers and therapists. Aides and teachers who only see him for "extended day" and such I didn't give to.

Unfortunately DS is much more aware this year and when he gave out cards he realized that some got starbucks cards and others didn't. He gave them out yesterday and he said that one of his teachers in extended day "likes coffee, why didn't she get a gift card too, mom?" I just replied that we don't see her that often and we gave her a nice card instead (and DS drew her a little picture on the envelope). But I felt like crap, and I'm sure DS was drilling her why she didn't get a gift card like his other teachers. What should I have said/done?

Also to make matters worse, while I'm having a pity party about how many people I could potentially have to give to, this morning at drop off there were parents going around with BOXES full of gift bags for teachers.

 
12-21-2012 at 9:51 AM
Sailor Sat...
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Sailor Saturn is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 5:30 PMBronze

I am sorry.

I think I may have overlooked one teacher at daycare but I was under the impression there were only two: lead teacher and teacher's aid. It was too late. As it is I think this daycare was already going to call it quits on us.

Every time I tried to appreciate them they would call me to pick up DS for a bad behavior or sick.

I was going to bake something for the entire daycare but decided not to. I moved DDS to another daycare.


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12-21-2012 at 10:32 AM
jnealet
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Joined on 04-26-2008
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jnealet is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 1:23 PMGold

I think you're fine.  Just explain to your DS that you gave different gifts to different people and the teacher will love his drawing and the card you wrote.

 

I can't believe that there were bags and bags of gift bags at your school.  I know that some parents gave gifts but I didn't see any of it.  I gave her gifts at the school holiday presentation.


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12-21-2012 at 10:50 AM
TheNewMrsC...
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Philadelphia, PA
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TheNewMrsCfont is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 2:10 PMBronze

I cannot imagine buying 25+ gifts for dc. 

I only bought presents for the main and assistant teachers in each of the boy's classrooms.   You have to draw the line somwhere or you will be buying 50 presents next year.  I think giving each of them a card to express your appreciation was a very nice thing to do.

 
12-21-2012 at 11:01 AM
aeh72
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aeh72 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 3:36 PMBronze

I think you're fine.  That's a crazy amount of teachers to keep up with and be expected to provide gifts for.  We would have had to have a "cut off" too if we were in the same situation.

Maybe next year, you can still give gift cards to the main teachers and then bring in bagels or a cookie tray for "everyone."  I feel like when you're in a situation like this - or when you fear you might leave someone out - that's a good way to cover your bases.


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12-21-2012 at 11:35 AM
MirandaHob...
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MirandaHobbes is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 4:01 PMSilver
aeh72:

I think you're fine.  That's a crazy amount of teachers to keep up with and be expected to provide gifts for.  We would have had to have a "cut off" too if we were in the same situation.

Maybe next year, you can still give gift cards to the main teachers and then bring in bagels or a cookie tray for "everyone."  I feel like when you're in a situation like this - or when you fear you might leave someone out - that's a good way to cover your bases.

I like this idea a lot, thanks! DS will be in kindy next year but will have a whole other group of SN resource teachers; a group gift would be perfect. I feel strange handing out gift cards, especially to public school teachers, but it just wasn't how it was when I grew up.

Part of my problem too is that our private school teachers don't know the public school teachers- so they don't really comprehend the extent of teachers we're dealing with. Or maybe they do and I'm just overthinking it. At any rate, this time of year makes me fidgety!

 
12-21-2012 at 11:44 AM
JennaNAaro...
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JennaNAaron is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 3:41 PMSilver
MirandaHobbes:
aeh72:

I think you're fine.  That's a crazy amount of teachers to keep up with and be expected to provide gifts for.  We would have had to have a "cut off" too if we were in the same situation.

Maybe next year, you can still give gift cards to the main teachers and then bring in bagels or a cookie tray for "everyone."  I feel like when you're in a situation like this - or when you fear you might leave someone out - that's a good way to cover your bases.

I like this idea a lot, thanks! DS will be in kindy next year but will have a whole other group of SN resource teachers; a group gift would be perfect. I feel strange handing out gift cards, especially to public school teachers, but it just wasn't how it was when I grew up.

Part of my problem too is that our private school teachers don't know the public school teachers- so they don't really comprehend the extent of teachers we're dealing with. Or maybe they do and I'm just overthinking it. At any rate, this time of year makes me fidgety!

Public school teachers like gift cards too :) Not sure what the difference is in public and private school teachers when it comes to gifts.


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12-21-2012 at 12:37 PM
jebek320
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jebek320 is not online. Last active: 01-12-2013, 10:10 AMNewbie

You're definitely fine!

If this offers any perspective, I am a speech therapist and while I always appreciate when my clients bring gifts, I never ever expect it. I have some clients that will bring gifts and some that don't and I have never thought less if someone didn't.  I hope that none of my clients would ever feel obligated to buy a gift for me, especially if they couldn't afford it. I have also worked on intervention teams where I've played a less involved role and would not think twice about it or be offended if some else on the team was given gift card and I wasn't. For me, it truly is the thought that counts.  Actually, I probably would have loved the card with the note and the little picture he drew (how special!) and kept it for years to come.  While the gift card, candle, etc. would've ended up forgotten or tossed.

 


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12-22-2012 at 9:46 AM
Pesky
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Pesky is not online. Last active: 05-09-2013, 9:01 PMPlatinum
I think you are fine.  What you can always do next year is Christmas Crunch in holiday treat bags.  Christmas Crunch is your friend because it is so easy.  2 cups Cheerios, 2 cups Rice Krispies, 2 cups salted cocktail peanuts (no skin), 2 cups plain holiday M&Ms, 1 package white almond bark/vanilla candy coating (original recipe calls for 2 cups mini marshmallows too but I thought it was too sweet).  Melt almond bark (can be done in microwave) and pour over remaining ingredients.  Stir to coat and pour out on wax paper to cool and set.  Then break apart and put in the bags.  Takes about 15 minutes and looks great.



DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
 

12-22-2012 at 3:33 PM
MammaBear8...
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MammaBear81 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 11:24 PMSilver

I have 25+ people to buy for (5 kids x teachers + activities etc) so I just do hand written cards and make cookies/candy for everyone.  For the teachers I know well I give larger boxes to (to share with their families) but I have a hard time "drawing a line" when it comes to who gets what, so everyone gets something small.

I don't think you did anything wrong, and I don't think it's fair to compare yourself to other people (I know it's hard though).  You did what you could, and the fact that you took the time to write a card for everyone is sweet.


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