By infant seat do you mean bucket? If so, I'd definitely try a rear facing convertible - that made a huge difference in the happiness level of both of my kids in the car.
OMG, yes. My one year old never would have tolerated being in the bucket. Try a convertible seat, stat!
As for the driving, no real advice. I had two car seat haters. They screamed from the second you put them in to the second I took them out every.single.time. It sucked, but I wasn't about to stop driving every 2 feet and there were places we need to go. It's pretty much stopped now (DD2 is almost 2).