I had an elective C/S based on my child's large size. But, TBH, I was terrified of vaginal birth, too. My doctor was very open to what I wanted, but I didn't make a decision until we found out he was likely going to be 9-10 pounds (he was closer to 10). 

My recovery was EASY. I stayed for 3 nights (one night longer than I preferred, though they wanted me to stay 4), and we stopped at Target to shop for a few needed things on the way home. I didn't take any meds after day 3, and had no complications.

 

Having a csection is major surgery. Some may have an easy recovery others do not. I had an emergency csection after laboring and pushing.i was incredible pain from the surgery my back and stomach hurt so bad I could hardly walk or get in and out if bed.. I would research more before going with a csection just because.

I had a c section after being in labor for 10 hours.  I will DEFINITELY be trying for a VBAC.  Recovery was fine...typical drainage, but just because it was "normal" doesn't make it one bit comfortable.  It was painful getting in and out of bed every hour and a half to feed a newborn.  If the baby is breech, or if at the time my doctor decides a RCS is a better option for the health of me and baby, I will have a CS again.  However, a big baby (edit: POSSIBLY big baby) would definitely not deter me from going for a vaginal delivery.  People deliver big babies all the time vaginally.  I was unsure if I would go for a VBAC until I visited my SIL and newborn niece in the hospital and I saw how mobil she was and how she could comfortable sit up in bed and pee and move around.  I would LOVE for PP to be like that.

I think its a little ridiculous that you would have major surgery to avoid having a vaginal birth.  Does your doctor even offer this as an option?

Any doctor that will perform a truly elective c/s is negligent. My c-section recovery was awful. My incision opened up twice, due to infection, and didn't heal until I was almost 4 months PP.

I truly side-eye those that consider a c-section because they are afraid of birth. What makes getting cut open, your insides rearranged and having major surgery sounds fun? Please do some research on both options.

I strongly agree with the 2 previous posters. I get that vaginal birth is scary, but you are an adult. You are old and mature enough to get pregnant. That means you are old and mature enough to think logically about what is best for you and your baby. You are old and mature enough to no longer make irrational decisions based on unhealthy fear. C-sections are major surgery, and while they are overwhelmingly performed safety, they carry major risks including death. Such risks are much, much lower with vaginal birth. 

Frankly, no fear (rational or not) is enough to make me voluntarily choose to not get to see my baby right away. The time spent in recovery from some minor complications was pure hell. Even if you have to get stitched up after a vag delivery (and guess what, stitches are much worse with major abdominal surgery!!!), you can hold/breastfeed your baby while it's happening. 

I truly do not understand what is happening with some people's mothering instincts when holding their newborn is not their priority. You can flame me for this, but I feel bad for these babies whose moms do not place priority on bonding with them in their first moments of life. SMH.

I was terrified of a vaginal delivery, but even more afraid of major surgery. While my c/s were easy, I'd much rather have a vaginal delivery.

I would do anything to have had a vaginal birth. I never would have had a c/s if I hadn't had to. Dr. determined that I could never have a vaginal birth, so I will have to have a c/s.

I had a repeat c-section a couple of weeks ago (based on my doctors' recommendations).  I suffered life threatening complications and had to be hospitalized and separated from my one week old baby.  IT SUCKED.

 

MelRC117:

I was unsure if I would go for a VBAC until I visited my SIL and newborn niece in the hospital and I saw how mobil she was and how she could comfortable sit up in bed and pee and move around.  I would LOVE for PP to be like that.

While I agree with the PPs that opting to have a major surgery out of fear seems ridiculous, I think it is important to remember that there are horror stories on both sides. While one woman has minimal tearing with a vaginal birth and is able to move around freely, another may have severe tearing that causes problems for months to come. I've known people who were unable to sit comfortably for extended periods of time and people who suffered severe bladder problems as a result of their vaginal deliveries. A vaginal birth does not guarantee an easy recovery nor does a csection guarantee a difficult one. Every recovery is different.

I think some of the responses here may be a tad harsh... but I agree with the point they make. Its normal to be scared, it a huge thing to have a baby! But csections are not easy. And come with a whole new set of things to be worried about. I had an awful recovery. Just like a PP said I had a major infection, and had to be in and out of the hospital to recover... time away from my baby. That was hard.

We are made to have babies, and if it just wont work we have access to things like csections if they are really needed... and thats a good thing. I would try for a V birth, fears aside. When the time comes all those fears go out the window and you will not care about anything but having your baby arrive safe and healthy.

LibbyLouHoo:

MelRC117:

I was unsure if I would go for a VBAC until I visited my SIL and newborn niece in the hospital and I saw how mobil she was and how she could comfortable sit up in bed and pee and move around.  I would LOVE for PP to be like that.

While I agree with the PPs that opting to have a major surgery out of fear seems ridiculous, I think it is important to remember that there are horror stories on both sides. While one woman has minimal tearing with a vaginal birth and is able to move around freely, another may have severe tearing that causes problems for months to come. I've known people who were unable to sit comfortably for extended periods of time and people who suffered severe bladder problems as a result of their vaginal deliveries. A vaginal birth does not guarantee an easy recovery nor does a csection guarantee a difficult one. Every recovery is different.

That is true, but statistically the chances of having serious complications from a vaginal birth are less than with a c/s. 

OP, I would look into "Birthing From Within" - it's a book, but there are also trained instructors for the course. It talks a lot about fear of labor and birth, etc. Also, depending on how many kids you want to have in the future, c/s get riskier with each one you have (two isn't a big deal, but 3+ can be). hth

I always wonder why people bother getting pregnant if they are too posh to push.  I also wonder why anyone would choose major surgery just because they are afraid.

 

MissMusic:

I always wonder why people bother getting pregnant if they are too posh to push.  I also wonder why anyone would choose major surgery just because they are afraid.

Parenthood is not all about pushing the baby out of you!

Okay people, l let's do a bit more research here.  For the OP, If this is your first baby, I advocate vaginal because it is your first.  Scary as it may be, we were built to do it that way.  A c-section, at least the first one, should not be an elective.  Now, if I hear one more time that it doesn't matter how big the baby is, I am going to scream.  By all means try and give birth naturally no matter how big (yes, NOW we can birth big babies) but for the record, babies are getting bigger and this is a recent development but our bodies are not changing to accommodate the fact, especially when babies normally were between six and eight pounds.  The new average is becoming nine+ but our bodies aren't getting bigger to match the possibility.  I don't think it will be good for women to give birth vaginally to thirteen pound babies and I bet you there will be women that say "but our bodies were meant to give birth".  And since this is a new trend in the last oh, twenty years, don't think it may not be a possibility in the near future.  The rise of the 11lb baby is already here.  Now, as far as the risks involved in c/s, yes they are higher but vaginal comes with its own set of worries.  I have had two c-sections, one emergency and one elective ( I did not want to risk a rupture as well)  Neither one did I have a single problem breastfeeding or bonding with my babies. I also was able to hold them both within the first hour of both.  I did stay in the hospital for 5 days with the first but I was out in a day and half with the second.  I am having a third and my worries are minimal. Also, there is something called a natural cesarean that eliminates a lot of things.  Like the baby is walked out of the uterus to eliminate the fluid from the lungs much like squeezing of the vagina.  The baby is placed on the mother's chest with cord intact where the baby can smell or begin to breastfeed as the baby is cleaned and measured.  Mucho bonding going on there.  It is less traumatic for both mother and child with a faster recovery time despite taking longer than a normal c/s.  So, I do believe my mothering instincts are intact and fully functional.  My children are well behaved and loved and we are bonded quite well, youngest is rather clingy TBH  .Everything has risks, the problem and is the horror stories floating around.  Just go natural OP, c/s is major surgery.  Talk to your doctor and have a list of questions about what you are afraid of.  Getting an answer here is like feeding the beast of your fear and giving him a new head called shame.

MamaKitty3:

Okay people, l let's do a bit more research here.  For the OP, If this is your first baby, I advocate vaginal because it is your first.  Scary as it may be, we were built to do it that way.  A c-section, at least the first one, should not be an elective.  Now, if I hear one more time that it doesn't matter how big the baby is, I am going to scream.  By all means try and give birth naturally no matter how big (yes, NOW we can birth big babies) but for the record, babies are getting bigger and this is a recent development but our bodies are not changing to accommodate the fact, especially when babies normally were between six and eight pounds.  The new average is becoming nine+ but our bodies aren't getting bigger to match the possibility.  I don't think it will be good for women to give birth vaginally to thirteen pound babies and I bet you there will be women that say "but our bodies were meant to give birth".  And since this is a new trend in the last oh, twenty years, don't think it may not be a possibility in the near future.  The rise of the 11lb baby is already here.  Now, as far as the risks involved in c/s, yes they are higher but vaginal comes with its own set of worries.  I have had two c-sections, one emergency and one elective ( I did not want to risk a rupture as well)  Neither one did I have a single problem breastfeeding or bonding with my babies. I also was able to hold them both within the first hour of both.  I did stay in the hospital for 5 days with the first but I was out in a day and half with the second.  I am having a third and my worries are minimal. Also, there is something called a natural cesarean that eliminates a lot of things.  Like the baby is walked out of the uterus to eliminate the fluid from the lungs much like squeezing of the vagina.  The baby is placed on the mother's chest with cord intact where the baby can smell or begin to breastfeed as the baby is cleaned and measured.  Mucho bonding going on there.  It is less traumatic for both mother and child with a faster recovery time despite taking longer than a normal c/s.  So, I do believe my mothering instincts are intact and fully functional.  My children are well behaved and loved and we are bonded quite well, youngest is rather clingy TBH  .Everything has risks, the problem and is the horror stories floating around.  Just go natural OP, c/s is major surgery.  Talk to your doctor and have a list of questions about what you are afraid of.  Getting an answer here is like feeding the beast of your fear and giving him a new head called shame.

Wow, your introduction is rather snotty Mrs. Know-It-All

How the heck is "getting an answer here is like feeding the beast of your fear and giving him a new head called shame"? And are you saying if you don't do a natural cs that mothering instincts are not "intact and fully functional", that children who aren't born natural c section aren't well behaved and arent bonded to their mom? 

Hahaha!  Not snotty at all, if you had read the entirety of the thread you would have noted that a PP had said that because a woman would choose a c/s that the mothering instinct was in question.  I just noted that despite my having had c-sections that I was still able to have loving and bonded children.  I also was noting that women come on here to get answers (though not a great place for it because obviously the doctor or nurse is a better choice) they are met with snideness and harshness they do not deserve, all in the name of telling it like it is.  As for me being a know it all, I will not make a comment unless I know what it is about.  And yes, I am in the medical profession as well.  People forget that some people are nervous and shy to ask the doctor or nurse anything because they are figures of authority and do not ask the questions they really want to.  They go somewhere looking for experienced answers but instead I have noted especially here, that if they sound like they are asking something stupid or do not have all the answers, they are put down, and those who try to defend them are flamed with them, all because of strong opinion.  Hence her fear added a head of shame.  Behavior is an issue of environment and discipline and each parent has a right to how they raise their child.  In no way was I saying it has anything to do with c/s, duh.  My point was that despite the c/s, natural or otherwise, or vaginal (I did not have a natural c/s BTW), bonding and motherly instincts occur anyways, it is an instinct that is innate in all of us and does not need an act of birthing to happen.  Nice of you to ONLY pick these things out of my post and twist them.  Good Luck to all on their pregnancy.

MamaKitty3:

Hahaha!  Not snotty at all, if you had read the entirety of the thread you would have noted that a PP had said that because a woman would choose a c/s that the mothering instinct was in question.  I just noted that despite my having had c-sections that I was still able to have loving and bonded children.  I also was noting that women come on here to get answers (though not a great place for it because obviously the doctor or nurse is a better choice) they are met with snideness and harshness they do not deserve, all in the name of telling it like it is.  As for me being a know it all, I will not make a comment unless I know what it is about.  And yes, I am in the medical profession as well.  People forget that some people are nervous and shy to ask the doctor or nurse anything because they are figures of authority and do not ask the questions they really want to.  They go somewhere looking for experienced answers but instead I have noted especially here, that if they sound like they are asking something stupid or do not have all the answers, they are put down, and those who try to defend them are flamed with them, all because of strong opinion.  Hence her fear added a head of shame.  Behavior is an issue of environment and discipline and each parent has a right to how they raise their child.  In no way was I saying it has anything to do with c/s, duh.  My point was that despite the c/s, natural or otherwise, or vaginal (I did not have a natural c/s BTW), bonding and motherly instincts occur anyways, it is an instinct that is innate in all of us and does not need an act of birthing to happen.  Nice of you to ONLY pick these things out of my post and twist them.  Good Luck to all on their pregnancy.

I think you misunderstood her point. I took it as it isn't very motherly to want a child, but not want to go through the process of giving birth. Now, obviously, some of us couldn't have vaginal births due to many medical reasons. That isn't what is being argued. I think a big part of motherhood is the labor process, and the anticipation, not just wanting a baby cut out of you for the sake of not wanting to push a baby out.

mabenner1:

MamaKitty3:

Hahaha!  Not snotty at all, if you had read the entirety of the thread you would have noted that a PP had said that because a woman would choose a c/s that the mothering instinct was in question.  I just noted that despite my having had c-sections that I was still able to have loving and bonded children.  I also was noting that women come on here to get answers (though not a great place for it because obviously the doctor or nurse is a better choice) they are met with snideness and harshness they do not deserve, all in the name of telling it like it is.  As for me being a know it all, I will not make a comment unless I know what it is about.  And yes, I am in the medical profession as well.  People forget that some people are nervous and shy to ask the doctor or nurse anything because they are figures of authority and do not ask the questions they really want to.  They go somewhere looking for experienced answers but instead I have noted especially here, that if they sound like they are asking something stupid or do not have all the answers, they are put down, and those who try to defend them are flamed with them, all because of strong opinion.  Hence her fear added a head of shame.  Behavior is an issue of environment and discipline and each parent has a right to how they raise their child.  In no way was I saying it has anything to do with c/s, duh.  My point was that despite the c/s, natural or otherwise, or vaginal (I did not have a natural c/s BTW), bonding and motherly instincts occur anyways, it is an instinct that is innate in all of us and does not need an act of birthing to happen.  Nice of you to ONLY pick these things out of my post and twist them.  Good Luck to all on their pregnancy.

I think you misunderstood her point. I took it as it isn't very motherly to want a child, but not want to go through the process of giving birth. Now, obviously, some of us couldn't have vaginal births due to many medical reasons. That isn't what is being argued. I think a big part of motherhood is the labor process, and the anticipation, not just wanting a baby cut out of you for the sake of not wanting to push a baby out.

Clearly no one on here is saying that having a c-section impedes a motherly bond. The vast majority of us are on here because we've had c-sections so we already know that breastfeeding and bonding are possible. But we also recognize that c-sections suck and carry risks, and while some of us had great experiences with our c-sections, other had horrible experiences. I'm glad that there are 'natural' c-sections but these processes are often out of one's control, especially if you end up with complications from the c-section, however minor.

My double footling baby's life was greatly endangered by a vaginal birth, and I know my mama instincts were right in having a c-section (not that any doctor where I live would dream of a vag delivery with a footling babe anyhow). In my case, the rational decision was a c-section based on the distribution of risks. That doesn't mean there were no risks, just that in this case they balanced in favor of a c-section. Making sense of the risks what all mamas have to do. I question motherly instincts when women refuse to consider the risks of a c-section because vaginal birth feels more visceral to them

FWIW, I bonded right away, I breastfeed successfully, all without a 'natural' c-section. But I would still never choose a c-section had she not been in that position because I will never get those first few hours of her life back that I was unable to spend with her because of complications. No mama in her right mind would choose to not get to spend those moments with her child, and the fact is that with c-sections the risk of not getting to be with your baby right away is quite high.

TX-Bride:

MissMusic:

I always wonder why people bother getting pregnant if they are too posh to push.  I also wonder why anyone would choose major surgery just because they are afraid.

Parenthood is not all about pushing the baby out of you!

She didn't say anything about parenthood, and you being pregnant is not the only way to become a parent.

 

magdalina.h:

I was terrified of a vaginal delivery, but even more afraid of major surgery. While my c/s were easy, I'd much rather have a vaginal delivery.

This! My baby was breech so C/S was what made sense for us. I would have LOVED to have a vaginal birth and was very disappointed that I needed major surgery to get my LO here safely. My C/S did go very well, but I'm still leaning towards trying for a VBAC. I hate that having a C/S for my first child has so many ramifications for my future births. 

I was terrified of having a vaginal birth, but the reason for that was my history of numerous "down there" problems.  You don't mention why you are afraid, so I can't comment on that, and it's a perfectly valid emotion.  I spoke about it with a lot of people, most of whom were not particularly nice or helpful.   

Fortunately, the only important people - my OB and my husband - were very supportive.  I would encourage you to speak with your doctor about your concerns.  We discussed all the options, my medical history and the issues I was worried about specifically, and at the time my OB felt like I had a good chance of a problem-free vaginal delivery.   However, given my issues, he was also willing to do what would have been essentially an elective CS.  I thought about it a lot and decided I'd go with his recommendation. In the end it didn't matter because I failed to progress, so I would have had a CS regardless of what I wanted or was afraid of.

While I can only speak for myself, I had a very easy recovery and only one day (immediately following surgery) when I was truly uncomfortable and in a decent amount of pain.  In the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you that I did have a lot of support and didn't have to do much by myself but I would have been able to manage just fine after two weeks.  By that point, I forgot all about my incision because my cracked nips hurt a lot more.  Obviously not everyone had this sort of experience and there are lots of horror stories, but then again, there are lots of horror stories and complications with vaginal births too. 

I am sorry that you are  fearful of actual vaginal birth, but as someone who has not only had a c section but other major surgeries for serious medical reasons (hence my c section)... I would never elect to have someone open me just for sh!ts and giggles. There is such a huge risk with surgery, why even put yourself, baby and family in that stop. Although vag birth has risks as well, that is the good old way to birth our offspring so as women we have to get over the fear and do it.....the outcome is worth it! I also will never get or agree why a doc would be ok with this in the first place. 

MamaKitty3:

Okay people, l let's do a bit more research here.  ...Now, if I hear one more time that it doesn't matter how big the baby is, I am going to scream.  By all means try and give birth naturally no matter how big (yes, NOW we can birth big babies) but for the record, babies are getting bigger and this is a recent development but our bodies are not changing to accommodate the fact, especially when babies normally were between six and eight pounds.  The new average is becoming nine+ but our bodies aren't getting bigger to match the possibility.  I don't think it will be good for women to give birth vaginally to thirteen pound babies and I bet you there will be women that say "but our bodies were meant to give birth".  And since this is a new trend in the last oh, twenty years, don't think it may not be a possibility in the near future.  The rise of the 11lb baby is already here. 

Do you have some stats to back this up? The average birth weight in the US is still about 7.5 lb, and it's actually been in decline.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/02/18/us-birth-weight-idUSTRE61H6D520100218

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100121171413.htm

From the second link: "Oken and her colleagues found that birth weights had decreased by an average of 52 grams (1.83 ounces) between 1990 and 2005. Decreases were especially notable after 1995."

I do agree with you that the whole "your body will never grow a baby it can't birth!" makes me roll my eyes, too (and I did have a vaginal birth with a huge baby myself).

nosoup4u:

MamaKitty3:

Okay people, l let's do a bit more research here.  ...Now, if I hear one more time that it doesn't matter how big the baby is, I am going to scream.  By all means try and give birth naturally no matter how big (yes, NOW we can birth big babies) but for the record, babies are getting bigger and this is a recent development but our bodies are not changing to accommodate the fact, especially when babies normally were between six and eight pounds.  The new average is becoming nine+ but our bodies aren't getting bigger to match the possibility.  I don't think it will be good for women to give birth vaginally to thirteen pound babies and I bet you there will be women that say "but our bodies were meant to give birth".  And since this is a new trend in the last oh, twenty years, don't think it may not be a possibility in the near future.  The rise of the 11lb baby is already here. 

Do you have some stats to back this up? The average birth weight in the US is still about 7.5 lb, and it's actually been in decline.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/02/18/us-birth-weight-idUSTRE61H6D520100218

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100121171413.htm

From the second link: "Oken and her colleagues found that birth weights had decreased by an average of 52 grams (1.83 ounces) between 1990 and 2005. Decreases were especially notable after 1995."

I do agree with you that the whole "your body will never grow a baby it can't birth!" makes me roll my eyes, too (and I did have a vaginal birth with a huge baby myself).

I agree with the above stats. My great-aunts all birthed 10-11 lb babies back in the 40's and 50's. There were big babies back then too. Perhaps there is a rise of gestational diabetes that might skew some data.

To the OP, most doctors won't just schedule surgery for no medical reason, especially for a first birth. There is benefit to the baby to go "full term" whatever that is for your particular baby. And, while there are risks for both, the greater risks lie with major surgery. Talk to your doctor or a psychologist about your fears.

I had one because they suspected my pelvis was so narrow. Once I got my head around the idea and actually had the C Section, it is honestly one of the best things I ever did. Andddd I dont have any horror stories about blowing out my vag

I elected for my c/s.  Told the Doc that's what I wanted and he said no problem.  I got some flack from friends and family, but it's my body and my decision.  I have NO regrets.  It was a breeze!

GhostMonkey:

TX-Bride:

MissMusic:

I always wonder why people bother getting pregnant if they are too posh to push.  I also wonder why anyone would choose major surgery just because they are afraid.

Parenthood is not all about pushing the baby out of you!

She didn't say anything about parenthood, and you being pregnant is not the only way to become a parent.

 

I think you missed the implication.