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12-20-2012 at 9:46 PM
ajsweeton
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Joined on 04-27-2009
2,436 Points
ajsweeton is not online. Last active: 04-13-2013, 12:58 PMNewbie

Intro and story. Kind of long...

Hi there.  I really wish that I was not posting on this board, but unfortunately I now belong here.  I went into the hospital on December 1st at 22 weeks 5 days convinced that I was peeing on myself, but I just wanted to be safe and be sure that it wasn't leaking fluid.  Turns out my little Elliott's sac had a leak and was protruding through my cervix which was dilated to 4-5cm.  They immediately started me on magnesium in an effort to stop my labor.  I was transferred to the University's hospital in the hopes that if I were to deliver they would be able to do something to save the babies.  I still had some hope that the labor would be able to be stopped and that  my sweet boys would survive. Sunday morning that hope was dashed after talking with the MFM Dr.  He was pretty confident that I would continue to progress, and he was right. He told us that it was hospital policy to not intervene and that they would not do anything to prolong life unless I reached 23 weeks. Elliott Brian was born at 10:51pm Sunday night.  He was beautiful and perfect, he was just too small to live.  Ryland followed and was born at 11:25pm he was a little bigger than his brother, but still too small to survive.  We were able to show our sweet boys lots of love for the few hours that they remained with us.  I'm having a really hard time accepting their loss right now.  I'm especially struggling with the fact that I am no longer pregnant, I keep thinking that I am pregnant and I still need to do the things I did when I was.  I just don't know how to go on at this point.  I feel so empty like all my hopes and dreams died with my boys. 

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers  
12-20-2012 at 10:13 PM
thecuddlee...
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Joined on 12-18-2007
21,417 Points
thecuddleeffect is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:35 PMSilver

I am so sorry for the loss of your boys.

My story is very similar to yours and I feel exactly the same as you do right now. The little things like drinking a diet soda, having a glass of wine, taking something other than tylenol hurt b/c it means I am no longer PG.

The ladies here have been very helpful to me knowing I am not alone in my feelings. 

Feel free to PM me if you want to vent, or cry, or ask questions or anything. 

Huge hugs to you 

 


Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Me(24)PCOS, Hypothyroidism & IC DH(26)Azoospermia
4/11 Off BCPs -- Cycle 1-3 (6months) - No ovulation, Provera
Cycle 4-6 - Provera, Clomid 50mg, CD23BW - All BFN (HSG-all clear)
Dec 2011 DH S/A shows zero count - dx Azoo
TESE 4/13/12 - Sperm found!! 5 viles frozen
IVF ICSI #1- 5R 2F 2dt- 2DP & 4CF - BFFN
Break Cycle - June/July (Going to Disney!)
IVF ICSI #2- Started stims 7/26
ER 8/8 11R 9F 3dt - 9BF & 7BF (+HPT 8dp3dt)TWINS! EDD 5/1/13
12/9 Joshua David and Zoe Faith born too early at 19w4d due to incompetent cervix
April 15 - LAP Transabdominal Cerclage - only possibility of carrying my children to term
Mid June - start stims for IVF#3!

Lilypie Assisted Conception tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers


My Local Nestie Besties: MrsHo1030, MABride0808,flowerpower and JenniferLuvsCandy!  
12-20-2012 at 11:06 PM
JordynLeig...
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Joined on 04-20-2011
22,120 Points
JordynLeighx3 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:14 PMBronze
I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through. My heart goes out to you. You are so strong.

Please know that you are forever a mommy to two beautiful angel baby boys.

I hope this is not the end for you and your SO and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.

image 
12-21-2012 at 6:59 AM
starburst0...
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Joined on 09-30-2012
7,147 Points
starburst0928 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 9:41 PMNewbie
I'm so sorry about your babies. It must be so frustrating that you were so close to 23 weeks. This board is wonderful and I hope we're able to help support you!

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
12-21-2012 at 7:47 AM
Jennifer27...
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Joined on 10-31-2012
35,434 Points
Jennifer271012 is not online. Last active: 05-10-2013, 7:21 PMBronze

((HUGS))

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.

I'm also so very angry at the universe right now. There are 3 of us right now who have lived the same nightmare over the last 3 months. All twins. All early labor. All shattered dreams.

If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me.

 


me (31) & dh (36)
bfp 04/06/12 - 21 week twin loss 27/10/12 DX: Incompetent Cervix
17/11/12 - hemorrhage and d&c

Feb. TTCAL siggy challenge - favorite love story (book or movie)

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~ Ghandi

PGAL/PAL always welcome!

 

12-21-2012 at 7:54 AM
fluttergir...
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Joined on 06-15-2011
20,991 Points
fluttergirlmoonchild79 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 4:32 PMBronze
I am so sorry you have to be joining us here and wish we were meeting under better circumstances.  The first few weeks are especially difficult especially with the holidays.  Be gentle on yourself and each other right now.  Do whatever is best for you and whatever you need to do to get by one step at a time.  The ladies here are absolutely amazing and we're here for you if you need anything.  Wishing you peace and love.

In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always As long as I'm living My baby you'll be Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers corbinsmommy.blogspot.com Lilypie Pregnancy tickers  
12-21-2012 at 9:04 AM
Casie13
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Joined on 02-14-2010
KS
41,414 Points
Casie13 is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 3:04 AMSilver
My goodness. My heart is so broken for you. I can't imagine being so close to 23 weeks and having this happen. I am sorry you are going through this kind of pain. I pray for healing of your heart and body so that you will be able to move forward and do what is best for you and your family. You are the mother to your sweet boys and have them in Heaven waiting for you now. You will see them again and they are safe. Let God heal your heart. It will take time, but He can do it. Many hugs to you today. 

Let us live our lives the way we shall wish we had lived when life is over. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
12-21-2012 at 9:30 AM
karebear57
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Joined on 08-25-2011
5,550 Points
karebear57 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 9:59 PMBronze
I am so sorry for the loss of your sons Elliott and Ryland. ((Hugs)) At first I kept forgetting and putting my hand on my belly to feel Bri and then I'd remember that I wouldn't feel her anymore and break down. I'm over a year out and it's still hard,but it's more "live-able". I am so sorry you find yourself here. But these ladies here are so sweet and caring, you will def. get the support you need. We are here for you whenever you need us.

Tim 12/30/00 Brad 4/30/02 Alex 9/29/03 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
12-21-2012 at 9:44 AM
Beautyfrom...
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Joined on 03-03-2011
13,879 Points
BeautyfromAshes is not online. Last active: 05-15-2013, 9:47 PMBronze

My heart is just broken for you. I'm so incredibly sorry. I lost a baby girl at 20 weeks, but I imagine being so very close to 23 weeks is just so hard to bear. I wish there was something I could say...

 A good friend of mine lost her twins in the exact same way also at 22 weeks 5 days. She keeps a blog and now has a non-profit in their honor. If it would bring you any comfort, her website is owlloveyouforever.org. You can visit her blog from there.

 I'm so sorry.  


Mommy to three babies here (seven year old twins and my new little guy!), and three babies in Heaven, including Miss Lily Grace who was lost at 20 weeks due to a cord accident.  
12-21-2012 at 10:04 AM
ShellyM201...
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Joined on 06-14-2010
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ShellyM2011 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:24 PMBronze
I'm so very sorry to read about the loss of your sweet boys. I can't imagine the pain and hurt you are feeling right now. I pray for you your partner and family. I know it will be tremendously hard on all of you. I hope you find some comfort and healing and are able to take all the time you need to process this. Again, I am so sorry. 

BFP 8/2/13 EDD 4/9/13 Our beautiful Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks 3 days Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
TTCAL Siggy Challenge: Favorite Flower Wildflowers
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
My Ovulation Chart ~All AL always welcome~ 
12-21-2012 at 10:07 AM
marylauren...
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Joined on 08-31-2012
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marylaurena is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 2:04 PMBronze

we were both on the april2013 board...I am so sorry to see you on this board.

I lost my baby girl the week of thanksgiving when she was 19 weeks...it was totally unexpected (we found out a week earlier that we would lose her) .  I know exactly the pain you are feeling and remember those first days of just utter shock...i still felt kicks, i would hesitate before drinking a glass of wine or eating sushi, I would find myself rubbing my belly.  It just doesn't seem fair to be so "in the clear (aka past 13 weeks) and then have your life turned upside down. 

It is still a shock and I am still so so heartbroken and have probably cried everyday since, but please know that it does get better a little bit at a time.  You will start to feel a peace and clarity and even thankfulness for the time you got with those sweet little boys in your tummy. 

these boards have been such a comfort to me because it is so hard for people in your life to relate to what is happening to you..even your dh. 

we are all here for you...sending many thoughts and prayers your way.


Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

4/1/13 BFP- 5/6/13 MMC (8 weeks)

All ALers welcome. 
12-21-2012 at 2:34 PM
Noethola
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Joined on 06-29-2010
10,799 Points
Noethola is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 6:22 PMBronze

I am so sorry for the loss of your sons Elliott and Ryland. I am so sorry that this is the reason we are introduced to one another. Praying for you and your family.

((Hugs))


Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
"Elsie was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."  
12-21-2012 at 10:38 PM
calibride2...
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Joined on 03-16-2004
Phillips Ranch, CA
6,340 Points
calibride2005 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:44 PMBronze
Im really sorry for the loss of your boys and my heart is just broken for you.  We are all here to help as we have been through the same thing at one point or another.  HUGE ((hugs))

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers Me - 41 DH - 28 **** Proud mom to Christopher, dob 7/15/92 **** Nathaniel dob 1/18/05 -1/18/05 (8 mos) in heaven **** bfp 8/26/10 m/c 10/14/10 at 7 wks. **** D&C 10/15/10 **** Cycles 1-4 BFN's **** Cycle #5 - 100 mg Clomid **** IUI #1 - 04/23/11 and 4/24/11 - 5/8/11 IUI #1 = BFFN BFP 10/14/11 - EDD 6/22/12** Stick little one Stick! Athena Jane 5/31/12 - 8/28/12  
12-22-2012 at 9:54 AM
meli1025
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Joined on 02-27-2008
15,249 Points
meli1025 is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 9:29 PMBronze
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your baby boys. I lost my baby girl in early October at 19 weeks, 3 days. I wish none of us had to be here, but this is a great place for support. Praying for you and your family. Hugs

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

BFP#1 - EDD 8/5/10, DS arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.

BFP#2 - EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.

BFP #3 - EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days. 

12-22-2012 at 10:26 AM
jbranden12
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Joined on 02-09-2008
20,158 Points
jbranden12 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 3:51 PMBronze

*ticker warning*

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your Elliott and Ryland. It is hard to believe when something like this happens. I was sure the world would stop turning after our family experienced such a tragedy. But the women here understood my feelings and were a great source of comfort. I hope we can be for you as well.


Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers 
12-23-2012 at 3:32 PM
blessedhop...
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Joined on 02-23-2012
10,937 Points
blessedhope is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 6:20 PMBronze

:::::::::Ticker Warning:::::::::::

I just wanted to give you the biggest hugs that I can send through the computer. I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet Ryland and Elliot Brian.


My little boy went to heaven during childbirth Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker type 1 diabetic for 7 years. Been on the pump for 6 years.  
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