Thanks, everyone. Everyting's okay here, and I've been having better days. Like I said, some days are just tough.
I understand that a lot of people don't think that the author of the Adam Lanza's mother piece should have written what she did, but to be honest, it wasn't reading that piece that got to me. It was the fact that I found poster after poster on FASD chat boards that all said the same thing. That they shared the fear of what their children were capable of while in a rage and that they knew they couldn't control them after a point.
But I know that's not our reality. M raged several times a week when he first came home, and we were able to help him process through it and learn to control his frustration and anger, but I understand the out of control feelings of a parent who can't subdue a child in the midst of a rage. And so, even though it's not our reality, I fear that with time and hormone changes and M's realizing his delays, we'll have some pretty challenging times ahead. I hope the doctor's estimations are correct, and we'll not have to face the worst of it, but we just won't know until we live those days.
I was feeling under the weather last week, and found out Friday I have strep throat, so I'm sure that is part of why I was more emotional, too. Things have been better since. It always helps me to see things in the best light when I get the chance to spend more time with the boys. They really light up my days so much, it's hard to worry about the future when our present is so awesome.