I am so sorry to hear that you reached one of those alright moments...
I definately know all about panic attacks. My doctor has helped train me to do breathing exercises to help. Meaning, You count to ten and during counting you breath in One, two, three, hold four, five, six and exhale seven, eight, nine, ten.
Do this breathing exercise for a least three minutes, and try to do it while you are sitting down in a nice comfortable spot/chair. After I do this exercise, I find one of my favorite candles that smells really relaxing and light it up, grab a nice glass of wine and either read a magazine/book or listen to some soothing music.
That does the trick for me. :) Maybe, your loved one can give you a wonderful hug for a minute or two, as well.... The warmth and touch makes me feel really good.
I, so understand the TTC pressure of being older and not knowing what the future holds is hard at times. Know that we are here for you and that you are surrounded by people who love you at home. That always makes me smile and gives me a lift in my step to move forward.
Best of luck to you and I am sending you, lots of (((((Hugs)))))! :)
Take care and enjoy your wine!