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12-20-2012 at 6:52 PM
ladyharper
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Is it offensive or annoying to you...

when people use adoption for the act of getting a pet or even acquiring a toy?

I was searching Etsy for adoption stuff and noticing the animal and stuffed animal objects mixed in, and was thinking using the same vocabulary could be seen as pretty insulting to those who are adopting or were adopted.

Not even touching the adopt-a-spirit vessel listings. No, no, I am not. 


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12-20-2012 at 6:57 PM
Strawberry...
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Not really because I look at adoption as adopting something (or someone) into your family. We adopted our puppy and I love him as if he was my child (don't worry I don't dress him up and put him a purse to take him shopping). But he's technically adopted as in we didn't birth him.



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12-20-2012 at 6:57 PM
HouseofLov...
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I was just thinking the same thing yesterday when I was looking for an adoption story via the google news and all I found was adopting dog stories!  I fully believe in people loving their pets, but it is sad that there are more campaigns/emphasis for animals than children. I don't think anyone would argue the worth of a person being more valuable than that of a dog.

That being said, my kids have used the term "adopting" when playing with their toys or they will say their baby dolls are "adopted". I think if used tactfully, it can be a good tool with little kids to help them understand what has/will happen.

 
12-20-2012 at 7:00 PM
Pinkie78
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It doesn't bother me for a pet but I wouldn't use it for a toy.  Although our agency suggested we not say we "adopted" our dog but instead "rehomed" him in case we wanted to bring it up.

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12-20-2012 at 7:44 PM
MagickalNa...
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I'm ok with using the word adoption for the process of acquiring a pet, but I don't believe in rehoming pets, so I consider it to mean permanency in both situations.

It really chaps me when I see it used for toys, but even more so for things like stretches of highway, or "adoptafamily" Xmas programs.

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12-20-2012 at 8:11 PM
CaptainSer...
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I'm usually okay with it when it's used as a way of saying "to take care of from now on."  I did NOT like when M came home with an "adopt a tree" project from school which only consisted of making random observations about the tree and its surroundings.  The project took one evening, and there was nothing long-term or remotely requiring a commitment about it.  It really upset me when M stopped and said, "Wait.  Adopt?"  and I had to explain that sometimes "adopt" is used to mean to take care of or to make something your own.  Yuck.

12-20-2012 at 8:19 PM
jalara48
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CaptainSerious:

I'm usually okay with it when it's used as a way of saying "to take care of from now on."  I did NOT like when M came home with an "adopt a tree" project from school which only consisted of making random observations about the tree and its surroundings.  The project took one evening, and there was nothing long-term or remotely requiring a commitment about it.  It really upset me when M stopped and said, "Wait.  Adopt?"  and I had to explain that sometimes "adopt" is used to mean to take care of or to make something your own.  Yuck.

Did you say anything to the school?



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12-20-2012 at 8:24 PM
elissaann2...
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I don't mind it for pets, as long as it is a permanent thing.

This is slightly off topic:  For some reason it really bothers me when people are so proud that they adopted their dog, but openly say they would never consider adopting a child.  Why are you willing to "save" (their word not mine) a dog but not a child?  It just seems backwards to me.  Shouldn't we value humans more than dogs?

For full disclosure, I am a self-identified dog snob and will only have full-bred Golden Retrievers or Labrador Retrievers in our home.  This is mainly due to knowing their personality and child friendly qualities.  So I'm just as hypocritical since I won't adopt a dog, but would adopt a child. 

12-20-2012 at 8:46 PM
Spooko
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It doesn't bother me unless the tone is negative or condescending. Any of the previous examples--books, highways, pets, etc. don't bother me.

There are many words in English that have multiple meanings and uses and this is just another one. People with any sense whatsoever know there's a big difference between a child and a highway. If they don't, using a different word isn't going to change their minds. 

 
12-20-2012 at 10:37 PM
MagickalNa...
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Spooko:
There are many words in English that have multiple meanings and uses and this is just another one. People with any sense whatsoever know there's a big difference between a child and a highway. If they don't, using a different word isn't going to change their minds. 

Of course. The reason that I don't like it is because I feel like it supports this feeling that people who adopt are doing this valiant act of rescuing something, and that something is needy and broken, like a trash-covered highway. Obviously it not the same thing and I know that people make a mental division between "adopting" kids and "adopting" other things but I am very, very sensitive to language and the subtle ways that it affects the way we think about things. And I DO think that a lot of people think of adopting as some valiant and brave act of rescuing, which I think we all know is problematic.


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12-21-2012 at 7:07 AM
Hav=Fath
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I would actually never even think to be offended by the word adopting being used for other purposes. Most people agree that you shouldn't adopt a toy... but does that count for Cabbage Patch kids?!? We love those!!

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12-21-2012 at 7:52 AM
Spooko
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MagickalNarwhal:

Spooko:
There are many words in English that have multiple meanings and uses and this is just another one. People with any sense whatsoever know there's a big difference between a child and a highway. If they don't, using a different word isn't going to change their minds. 

Of course. The reason that I don't like it is because I feel like it supports this feeling that people who adopt are doing this valiant act of rescuing something, and that something is needy and broken, like a trash-covered highway. Obviously it not the same thing and I know that people make a mental division between "adopting" kids and "adopting" other things but I am very, very sensitive to language and the subtle ways that it affects the way we think about things. And I DO think that a lot of people think of adopting as some valiant and brave act of rescuing, which I think we all know is problematic.

See, and I don't look at it as rescuing a highway. I look at highway clean up as hard work and taking care of it and lot of commitment. I still don't see the issue. There are a lot of things to be sensitive about in adoption language, I agree, but this isn't one of them for me. 

 
12-21-2012 at 9:21 AM
sarahtoled...
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I work in animal rescue -- the term "adopt" when used for pets is used to specify that someone got a pet from a shelter or non-profit rescue, rather than buying from a breeder or pet store.  It is certainly intended to be a permanent thing.  I actually screen adoption apps at our group, and do home visits.  Smile  Obviously, I don't have a problem with it.  

Though I'm aware that children and pets are totally different, I will be proud to say, someday, that I've adopted 11 pets (many are no longer with us) and all of my kids.   

ETA:   I don't think my pets are needy or broken, and most rescue pets are not.  They are just without homes, usually through no fault of their own.   


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12-21-2012 at 9:25 AM
sarahtoled...
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elissaann26:

I don't mind it for pets, as long as it is a permanent thing.

This is slightly off topic:  For some reason it really bothers me when people are so proud that they adopted their dog, but openly say they would never consider adopting a child.  Why are you willing to "save" (their word not mine) a dog but not a child?  It just seems backwards to me.  Shouldn't we value humans more than dogs?

For full disclosure, I am a self-identified dog snob and will only have full-bred Golden Retrievers or Labrador Retrievers in our home.  This is mainly due to knowing their personality and child friendly qualities.  So I'm just as hypocritical since I won't adopt a dog, but would adopt a child. 

Because I'm a crazy dog rescue person, I *had* to come say that there are millions of goldens and labs in rescue.  Good, sweet dogs, and plenty of puppies too.  Something like 45% of dogs in shelters are purebreds, and there are even golden and lab-specific rescue groups.  I love adopting dogs from foster care (yes, they have dog fosters!) and then you know a lot about them before you even meet them.   


My feet and Miss Heidi the rescue mutt!

TTC #1 @ 38, Dx: ovulation issues
15 treatment cycles: c/p 4/11, m/c 12/11 (6w), possible ectopic + MTX 4/12 (7w)
Another c/p in 12/12

Moving forward with domestic infant adoption! 

12-21-2012 at 9:55 AM
elissaann2...
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sarahtoledo:

Because I'm a crazy dog rescue person, I *had* to come say that there are millions of goldens and labs in rescue.  Good, sweet dogs, and plenty of puppies too.  Something like 45% of dogs in shelters are purebreds, and there are even golden and lab-specific rescue groups.  I love adopting dogs from foster care (yes, they have dog fosters!) and then you know a lot about them before you even meet them.   

Thank you for this.  And we did check out the local shelters to see if there were any dogs that would be a good fit for us before we dove completely into our breeder interviews.   

12-21-2012 at 10:20 AM
fredalina
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I do not find it offensive. I do find it excessive, though.

Adopting a pet/highway/library/etc is trendy. Some people are under the opinion that adopting a child is trendy, too, and that bugs me. I promise you I did not go through infertility for funzies so I could be just like the JoliePitts of the world.

From a linguistics point of view, "adopt" means to take on something new. In my company, we "adopt" new manufacturing specs every year. So really the "taking in a child you didn't birth" type of adoption ADOPTED the word "adoption". The word already existed and didn't mean what it now means to us.

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12-21-2012 at 7:40 PM
jillianmb
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I didn't read the other comments, but my answer is that in conversation I don't mind the term used for pets but it bugs the heck out of me that the hashtag #adoption is used for pets way more often on instagram than for children.  I wish they would use #petadoption rather than #adoption.  I'd say it is more of a pet peeve (no pun intended) than offensive though.

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12-22-2012 at 9:52 AM
raechelebl...
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I don't find it offensive, but I see where you are coming from. Both of our pets were shelter animals. It's the first and really only place we would consider getting a pet. Both my cat and my dog are beautiful, loving animals and make our home cozier...and hairy. I don't usually say that we "adopted" them though, rather "they were shelter/rescue animals" or "we found them at xyz shelter". Quite honestly though, when we got our puppy 4 yrs ago the process was similar to our home study in many ways, minus the SW and financial inquiries. : They even asked us what we would do with the dog if we split up...to which my jokster DH said, "we'd split the dog of course". That didn't go over well. : And they still let us take Molly home.

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12-24-2012 at 8:53 AM
gamergirl5...
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ladyharper:

when people use adoption for the act of getting a pet or even acquiring a toy?

I was searching Etsy for adoption stuff and noticing the animal and stuffed animal objects mixed in, and was thinking using the same vocabulary could be seen as pretty insulting to those who are adopting or were adopted.

Not even touching the adopt-a-spirit vessel listings. No, no, I am not. 

I'm adopted.  I have adopted 1 dog and 2 cats.  Adoption is adoption, whether it is a child or a pet.  Either way you are taking that person/animal into your family and making their life better.

 
12-27-2012 at 5:20 PM
Bpmg
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This (like many things related to this process) never crossed my mind before - I participate in a couple "Adopt a family" Christmas programs, I adopted a dog, and I guess technically my Cabbage Patch kid Laney! But when I was googling for adoption resources - it did occur to me that maybe it is odd to use it for pets, families, etc. I guess it doesnt offend me, but I would see it as an education opportunity - espcially in the tree example. We are learning alot about proper terminology, and our SW had helped us to understand why some terms are not used, and the impact the terms can have. I will use her wise words of wisdom to continue to educate people in my life about adoption.
 
12-28-2012 at 10:20 AM
NariaDream...
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elissaann26:
For some reason it really bothers me when people are so proud that they adopted their dog, but openly say they would never consider adopting a child.nbsp; Why are you willing to "save" their word not mine a dog but not a child?nbsp; It just seems backwards to me.nbsp; Shouldn't we value humans more than dogs?


Probably because a dog is an 815 year commitment, with a relatively low financial outlay 20k50k , and a child is a 5080 year commitment with financial responsibilities pushing upwards of 500,000 just for the first 30 years.

Not everyone is financially or emotionally prepared to adopt a child. Not everyone is willing to raise a child with the special considerations many adopted children face. It's sad but true, and someone who is unwilling or unable to accommodate those needs should not be made to feel guilty about not "saving the orphans" by bringing them into their homes.

I absolutely think people value human life over animal life that is precisely why more people adopt pets than children. While neither SHOULD be done on a whim, lets face it you CAN adopt a pet on a moment's notice. It's harder to adopt a child for good reason you're protecting the interest of a being with higher order thinking and reasoning skills.

And as much as I hate rehoming a pet that doesn't work with your family, it is much more socially acceptable to rehome a pet than it is to disrupt an adoption of a child.

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12-28-2012 at 10:44 AM
NariaDream...
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My phone ate my hyphens. That Should have said 8 to 15 year and 50 to 80 year.

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