I feel like, earlier in our marriage, I could have written this post. Maybe Jen and I both are reading too far into it, but it does seem like maybe he's gotten used to being let off the hook for everything.
My experience: my therapist helped me recognize that I was undercutting my own efforts to change. I would moan and groan about him not helping, him taking me for granted, him not taking my wishes into account, etc. But really, he was doing those things because I never showed him that those behaviors were unacceptable to me. It took a lot of soul-searching to realize that, you know what? I'm totally NOT the lesser person in the relationship. I'm NOT his personal chef/assistant/housekeeper.
And it took even more soul-searching to realize that I had the power, and the choice, to not be that person. So, I told him. And then, I followed through. That was the hard part, the following through. Because it is, and continues to be, and will always be easier to just do it - the dishes, the vacuuming, the cooking, the shopping, whatever. But I had to accept that I was choosing to play the victim in those cases. I was choosing to say, "he's not doing it, so I will fix it and do it - but I won't be happy about it, and I will take it out on him."
It's been two years since I had my personal coming to Jesus about acting like a submissive, victimized housewife, and I still sometimes struggle with guilt, feelings of subjugation, and a healthy dose of resentment. But it's better, and it's better because I have made the changes I needed to make. You can't ask him to change if you aren't willing to make changes, too.
If you ever want to talk more, feel free to PM me.