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12-24-2012 at 12:22 PM
kklamb10
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F the world today (baby ment)

I just typed out this really long post and of course TB or my phone ate it so here is the short version. I'm 10 hours away from home hidding in my BILs spare bedroom sobbing uncontrolably because they have a 1 month old and it's CD1. I had myself convinced this was my cycle and I could survive Christmas because I would be PG. But here I am feeling completely let down by everything and like I'm now ruining Christmas for DHs entire family. I just want to be at home currled up in bed! I feel bad for even posting this because I feel like so many women are hurting right now and there are so many of you that have been through so much more than I have. Huge hugs to us all and I pray everyone is having a better day than I am.
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TTC #1 Jan 2012 BFP#1 4/17/12~EDD 12/17/12 ~m/c @6weeks 4/22/12 ~ Morgan Quinn
BFP #2 2/25/13 at 15DPO EDD 10/31/13 Grow Baby Grow!
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12-24-2012 at 12:27 PM
RunningGal...
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Hugs. I am so sorry. That has to be really hard. I'm on cd1 today too and planning to drink A LOT of champagne tonight.
BFP#1-7/28/2010, DS-4/11/2011
BFP#2-7/21/2012, MM/C-8/9/2012
BFP#3-11/1/2012, M/C-11/25/2012
BFP#4-1/16/2013, EDD-9/29/2013 My 4th BFP chart: My Ovulation Chart Lilypie Maternity tickers 
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12-24-2012 at 12:28 PM
RedPhoenix...
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Don't feel bad for posting this, at all!  You have every right to be hurting, and I would be a blubbering mess around a baby at any age right now.  (Hence why I'm doing Christmas hermit-style this year).

This is going to be a tough day for you.  And I'm so sorry.  Do you they know about your loss?  You take as many breaks from that baby as you need to.  ((((HUGS))))
PAIF/SAIF, PGAL/PAL welcome.
TTC since March 2010 ~ Dx Unexplained IF September 2011
2011: IUI + Clomid = CP#1
2012: 3 more IUIs + Clomid = 3 more CPs. One on-our-own pg, also CP
2013: BTB IUI + Lupron/Follistim/Prometrium/PIO = CP #6
IF testing, RPL testing, Autoimmune testing = all normal
So lost.


 
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12-24-2012 at 12:30 PM
snegde
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I'm sorry. Praying for strength to get through the day.


BFP#1 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 TTC since 2.12 My Ovulation Chart
PGAL/PAL Welcome. 
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12-24-2012 at 12:32 PM
kklamb10
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RedPhoenix625:

Don't feel bad for posting this, at all!  You have every right to be hurting, and I would be a blubbering mess around a baby at any age right now.  (Hence why I'm doing Christmas hermit-style this year).

This is going to be a tough day for you.  And I'm so sorry.  Do you they know about your loss?  You take as many breaks from that baby as you need to.  ((((HUGS))))

Thanks! They all know about our loss. DHs entire family is here. I haven't even seen the baby yet. I think DH is trying to find us a hotel for the night because I know I can't stay here tonight.
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Married 3/27/10
TTC #1 Jan 2012 BFP#1 4/17/12~EDD 12/17/12 ~m/c @6weeks 4/22/12 ~ Morgan Quinn
BFP #2 2/25/13 at 15DPO EDD 10/31/13 Grow Baby Grow!
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12-24-2012 at 12:33 PM
ravenclaw1
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I'm avoiding going to a party with H today bc the couple has a 3 month old "oops baby". Sorry. Don't need that crap. I'll stay home and sew.

Does your family know what you're going through? I dealt with that at thanksgiving, and the only thing that got me through it was that they all knew and were really good about letting me deal.

Lots of hugs.
BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy.
Back to normal business December 2012
BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13


PGAL always welcome 
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12-24-2012 at 12:38 PM
Bethelgal4...
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Crying I'm sorry Kklamb. I was really rooting for you to this cycle too.  I'm only a few hours away. Come back up here. You can spend Christmas Eve/Day with us. Smile   {Hugs}

Praying for you.

First BFP 12/26/11, m/c 1/2/12 @ about 5 weeks, EDD 9/2/12
Second BFP 03/11/12, m/c 3/26/12 @ 6 weeks, 4 days, EDD 11/8/12
Third BFP 02/03/13, EDD 10/15/13:

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12-24-2012 at 12:39 PM
J&J09
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Huge hugs.  Being around babies of any age is so hard.  I'm glad your DH is understanding and is trying to find you guys a hotel room. 
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers My Ovulation Chart PGAL/PAL always welcome!  
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12-24-2012 at 12:42 PM
brihall003
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All I can do is offer you a big (((HUG))) and to say not to feel bad for posting at all! On some level I bet we can all relate to how you feel in that situation, and I'm so so sorry it's happening. I saw your reply to Red, I'm glad that DH is being supportive and helping to look into some sort of refuge. My prayers are with you today sister. 
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Started TTC May 2012 - BFP 8/14/12 - EDD 4/21/13 - D&C 9/26/12 - Partial Molar Pregnancy  
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12-24-2012 at 12:45 PM
mightymous...
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*huge hugs* I'm going to be in almost the same situation tonight, believe me I get it. So sorry you have to deal with this.
BFP#1 9/28/2012 - EDD 6/3/2013 - MMC discovered 11/21/2012 @ 12w2d - D&C 11/24/2012
BFP#2 4/4/2013 - EDD 12/15/2013 - Beta #1=296 @ 14DPO - Beta #2=975 @ 17DPO - U/S 5/6/2013 healthy bean measuring 8w1d with a HR of 189!
Grow MiniMousy grow!
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12-24-2012 at 12:47 PM
jenohousto...
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Huge huge hugs
photo fb29a895-732c-493b-b5f1-15ac16bff5b5_zps53c7f13d.jpg BFP #1: EDD 6.7.13, D&C 10.30.12 BFP #2: EDD 12.18.13 BabyFruit Ticker 
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12-24-2012 at 12:48 PM
RedPhoenix...
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kklamb10:
RedPhoenix625:

Don't feel bad for posting this, at all!  You have every right to be hurting, and I would be a blubbering mess around a baby at any age right now.  (Hence why I'm doing Christmas hermit-style this year).

This is going to be a tough day for you.  And I'm so sorry.  Do you they know about your loss?  You take as many breaks from that baby as you need to.  ((((HUGS))))

Thanks! They all know about our loss. DHs entire family is here. I haven't even seen the baby yet. I think DH is trying to find us a hotel for the night because I know I can't stay here tonight.

Good.  And, IDK your DH's family and how they would respond, but it might be helpful to be up front with them and just say "hey, I'm having a hard time with this.  Just a heads up, but I might need to take a few moments.  It's not about you, it's about me.  Please try to understand."  Or something.  Just to take the pressure off and relieve some of the guilt you're feeling about "ruining" their holiday (which I'm sure you're not!)

More ((((HUGS))))

PAIF/SAIF, PGAL/PAL welcome.
TTC since March 2010 ~ Dx Unexplained IF September 2011
2011: IUI + Clomid = CP#1
2012: 3 more IUIs + Clomid = 3 more CPs. One on-our-own pg, also CP
2013: BTB IUI + Lupron/Follistim/Prometrium/PIO = CP #6
IF testing, RPL testing, Autoimmune testing = all normal
So lost.


 
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12-24-2012 at 12:58 PM
kklamb10
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Thanks ladies! DHs family is amazing I'm now hanging out with DH and his BIL (not the one with the baby). They are playing pool and making lots of ball jokes. I feel a little worn out but mich better.
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Married 3/27/10
TTC #1 Jan 2012 BFP#1 4/17/12~EDD 12/17/12 ~m/c @6weeks 4/22/12 ~ Morgan Quinn
BFP #2 2/25/13 at 15DPO EDD 10/31/13 Grow Baby Grow!
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12-24-2012 at 1:01 PM
km_md
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I'm so sorry. Lots and lots of ((hugs))
Married my own Prince at Walt Disney World Resort on September 9th, 2010
BFP#1 - 25/Aug/12 - EDD 2/May/13 - M/C - 08/Sept/12 - 6w2d
BFP#2 - 13/May/13 - EDD 24/Jan/14 - Please be our rainbow!

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12-24-2012 at 1:07 PM
Smash2009
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HUGE HUGE HUGS! I'm so sorry bout CD1 and that you have to be around a new LO. It is so hard, and I will be thinking of you. I hope somehow, some way you find moments of joy today and tomorrow. More hugs XO

(photo by Jessica Nichols, www.sweeteventide.com)

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12-24-2012 at 1:41 PM
RosiePeare
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No apologies needed, and I'm sending you lots of hugs!! If I've learned anything in the last year, it's that people actually WANT to care for you in these moments, and it sounds like your DH is already doing so.
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Married since July 2009; TTC since July 2011
BFP #1 (natural): 12/15/11; missed m/c and D&C at 7-8w
June 2012: Dx Hypogonadism; Aug 2012: Hysteroscopy (polyp)
BFP #2 (Menopur + Ovidrel + IUI#2): 11/20/12; hb@6w2d, no hb@7w6d; D&C
Embryo / RPL testing revealed no abnormalities
I can make it through tomorrow thanks to the support and love of my unofficial buddy, jenn0021
Inch by Inch, Row by Row: A blog about growing our garden

 
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12-24-2012 at 1:55 PM
heather529...
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I'm sorry for CD1 and being around a LO at the holidays. [HUGS]
TTC Since 8/2011
BFP #1 5/13/12 * EDD 1/24/13 * MC at 7 wks 4 days on 6/11/12
BFP #2 5/13/13 * Current EDD 1/22/14

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12-24-2012 at 3:30 PM
ashleen223
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((Hugs)) honey. I'm so sorry about CD1. I doubt you are ruining anybody's Christmas, but take all the time you need to cry it out. Feel free to vent here more if you need. More ((hugs)).

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BFP #1 4-10-2012, EDD 12-19-2012, ectopic discovered 5-01-12 at 6w6d
BFP #2 3-22-2013, EDD 11-28-13, natural mc 4-09-13 at 6w4d
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12-24-2012 at 3:50 PM
amberpro
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You have every right to have bad/sad days.  I'm so sorry :(  [[hugs]]
photo fb29a895-732c-493b-b5f1-15ac16bff5b5_zps53c7f13d.jpg photo d836ffba-f4b4-429b-8224-b2817b2345c0.jpg Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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BFP 9/27/12 EDD 6/11/13, MC 9wks, no HB

 
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12-24-2012 at 4:06 PM
rlajambe
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I'm so sorry about AF today, hun.  The holidays seem to be finding it's own special way to kick our collective a$$.  Big hugs.
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BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/06/13
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12-24-2012 at 8:47 PM
Junebug060...
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Big hugs.  CD1's are hard, regardless of how far along you were for your loss.  Cycles near EDDs and dealing with the holidays just compound the emotions.

Go ahead and let it all out. 

BFP#1 11.9.10 (EDD 7.15.11) M/C 11.13.10 @5W1D
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
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12-24-2012 at 8:59 PM
anitaflora
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I'm so sorry sweetie. Huge hugs your way. I know that just must be so, so difficult. Please don't say you shouldn't post though. You can't really compare one person's grief and troubles to another IMO. Everyone has their share and everyone has their time of need.

We are all here to support each other in times that we're down. Please know I wish I could just be a shoulder to cry on for you.

I hope you get a good night's rest and feel refreshed in the morning and that you have a peaceful and wonderful Christmas with your husband and family.

More hugs!!
**TTCAL May Siggy Challenge - Favorite Flower: Snapdragons** photo Snapdragons-horz_zps46ce0c19.jpg

Me (39), DH (39), married 10/07, DS born 2/13/10 TTC #2 since 12/11
4 1st tri losses in 2012
BFP #5 3/30/13; c/p 4/6/13
Low AMH, heterozygous MTHFR; small area of uterine calcifications, possible uterine adenomyosis
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12-24-2012 at 9:58 PM
mayonegg
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HUGE (((hugs))) CD 1 here as well...and i have been around a 3 month old for 2 days and everyone keeps commenting and asking us where ours are. they are lucky i haven't TP'd someone yet. GL and i hope things get better and you can get away soon!

♥ bfp#1 8.8.12 ~ edd 4.8.13 ~ mc 8.18.12 ~ 6w5d ~ suspected ectopic ♥
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~~~ All ALers Welcome!! ~~~
 
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