Men and women take words differently, so you might have said something to him that he took differently and vice versa.
I'm not defending him but your situation isn't completely innocent.
As much as you might dislike your BD, he still deserves time with his child. Now if he is personally incapable of taking care of his child I understand. But it sounds like you just don't trust BD, which I understand, but keeping him from his child is a selfish thing to do. You don't have to leave him alone with your child, have supervised visits. But without adquate proof and reasons, besides not liking BD, its not fair to keep the child from their other half.
Everything he told me about his life was lies- I found out that he does this regularly, to try and live off people for free, so he doesn't have to work. I found out he had active warrants the whole time I knew him- He's a con artist & thief. His dad is in prison for involuntary manslaughter, his mom is a gambling & drug addict, His older brother had all 4 children taken from him because he is a prescription pill addict, his sister is a needle heroin addict/dealer who's 2 yr old daughter got brain damage because she ate a methadone pill off the floor of their house. NOT the type of people I want my child around
Don't you think that IF he wanted to be involved in this child's life, he would have made an effort thus far?
I emailed him and said "hey just letting you know, your son is going to be here soon, & I was wondering what your plans were regarding him" ie- giving him a chance to be involved... I don't want him or his family involved. At the same time, I am having an extremely difficult time grasping the fact that this person created life & is just walking away from it, no care at all... It boggles my mind how someone could do this
So am I being selfish? By giving a person a chance to be a decent human being? To decide what they are going to do with their responsibilities?