I just peeked on this board for old times sake. I am about to celebrate my fourth child's first birthday. I remember the anxiety very well. I promise you, the anxiety is worse than the real deal.
I've had all sorts of different births: the first was an emergency c-section and I was knocked out completely, the second was with an epidural but I had a hot spot (basically it numbed me everywhere except where I was actually in pain), the third I was given drugs to help me progress...the fourth I took control because I did not like how my former pregnancies were run "for me." Now, I did have a doula - and they are helpful - but your husband can do the exact same thing. Basically, just like you are planning, he's going to help you stay the course you've decided is best for you and your baby ... the decision you are making during your "sane" time when you aren't caught up in being worried or second guessing yourself because the hospital staff wants things a certain way "for the best of the baby." My last child was completely med free...I labored at home as long as I felt it was safe to do so (basically when I couldn't talk through the contractions we hit the door...it was my call, we lived fairly close to the hospital).
I chose a hospital that allowed a woman to walk around during labor...their rules were that they be allowed to externally monitor you 15 minutes of every hour...but I didn't let them do that, either. The more they mess with you they more they break your concentration is my theory...the more that happens the more the waves of anxiety start over you and I think the interruptions interfere with progression. I did not labor on my back..and at first they were cool with that, but I knew from prior experience that back labor was my main problem in prior pregnancies. I leaned against the bed, then crawled up on all fours with the head of the bed elevated to lean into. Towards the end, the nurses were arguing with us that I had to lay down "for the good of the baby" which really meant that they needed me to have a routine birth "for them" to be comfortable. I stayed where I was...and honestly, I was so concentrating that I really only vaguely remember the squabble going on in the back ground...my full focus was on reading my body. It felt like *hours* but in reality it was slightly less than an hour. The moment the baby was born, everything felt just fine..I was tired but a good tired, I could get up and walk, I didn't have needles in me, the baby wasn't drugged, et cetera. In fact, through that evening and the following day we had several staff members (nurses, etc) come to see the woman that had birthed on all fours as they had never seen that before and were commenting about how wonderful it was and what a difference it was. One individual stated that she was going to recommend it from now on as the prior week a young, first time mom ended up having to have a c-section that she believes now could have been prevented had she been allowed to labor as I had just done.
Now, I'm not saying birth on all fours (but if you do, stack some pillows under your tummy for support) but I am saying get into a position that your body wants you to be in...you dont have to do it the hospital way unless you allow/need interventions...once you have something hooked up to you, you then have to bargain for everything, and every decision you make will negate or reduce your options for other things.
Best of luck to you for a wonderful birthing experience!