Congratulations on the birth of Lukas. Your feelings are so normal plus You have been through so so much. Im sorry you are dealing with a longer than expected NICU stay on top of everything else.
Take things one day at a time. Many many babies have apnea episodes and in all reality there are probably plenty of babies that have apnea episodes at home but no one realizes it because they arent on monitors. It is great the the staff is being cautious but I know that it is so hard at the same time,
I hope you have your little boy home soon and that there are much sunnier days ahead!
On a side note, Im really happy to hear you made it to 36 weeks. I had my daughter at 25 weeks after 4 weeks of hospital bedrest due to IC and am having a TAC in March. It is great to hear TAC sucess stories, even though I know it hasn't been/ isnt easy right now