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12-24-2012 at 10:45 PM
KathleenPe...
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KathleenPetrie is not online. Last active: 01-12-2013, 7:34 PMNewbie

Hello ladies! Question from a July 2013 mom

Hi ladies!
I'm jumping boards to ask for your help. I'm curious, with a month or less to go, how do you all feel? Do you need someone with you constantly? Or are you okay alone?
The reason I'm asking is that my husband came home the other day with heartbreaking to me news that he will be in training in the state of Washington from June 6 to July 12. We're due July 16. We currently live in Virginia, so across the entire country. He can't get out of the training since he's in the military and its mandated, and can't change the dates... So unless I go into labor or have a scheduled csection before the end of the training, he won't be back earlier than July 13th. I told him I'll be fine without him, but he's trying to talk me into agreeing to have his mom come stay with me for that month. I love my MIL, but I couldn't have her here for a month. I'd go bananas! But since we're military, I have no family or close friends around me since we recently moved here...
Suggestions? Do you think I'll be ok assuming I have a healthy pregnancy? Or should I look into having friends/family come stay with me a week or so at a time?
Thanks!
Kathleen
 
12-24-2012 at 10:58 PM
Ash2015
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I think it completely depends on the type of person that you are, but I would really hate to be alone for the last month of pregnancy, especially since you don't know anyone around where you live. Right now, my fiance works 12-hour shifts on a schedule of 3 days off, 2 days on, 2 days off, 3 days on, etc. and I do tend to get really lonely when he's gone. He works from 6pm-6am so I've been spending a lot of time over at my mom's house in the evenings after he leaves for work just because there's really nothing to do by myself and I also don't have a lot of friends living around where I do. I think if someone offered to come out and stay with you it would be great (as long as you get along with them and feel comfortable spending that time with them). Your idea of the week at a time thing really sounds like a really good idea if you could make that work. Good luck with whatever you choose to do! Smile

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12-24-2012 at 11:06 PM
spainy17
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I personally think you would be fine alone as long as you have had a healthy pregnancy and as long as you have people you can call if you need to (like if you need to go to the ER or go into labor).  I am just under 38 weeks now and am still working full time as an ICU nurse, cleaning, shopping, etc.  I am just slower and rest more often than before.  However, this really depends on personality and how anxious you are about everything.  You know yourself - are you the type that won't lift the laundry basket?  Do you have big dogs or something that might complicate things?  It would be nice to have help but if you are a fairly independent person then having someone following you around might drive you bonkers. :)

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12-24-2012 at 11:28 PM
dulcemaria...
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dulcemariamar1 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 1:25 PMSilver

I agree with PP. If you have a healthy pregnancy then you should be fine until the end.

 

However, will you MIL be able come and stay with you without a lot of notice? If you get put on bedrest, will she be able to come and stay with you?

 

Perhaps, a month is a long time. Maybe, she could come and stay for a week before your DD?

 

Do you have someone who can be with you when it is time to deliver your baby?


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12-25-2012 at 3:33 AM
Las135
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You should be fine alone, unless there is a medical need for someone to be there to help you.  At this point in my pregnancy, things are a little tougher, but certainly nothing I can not handle on my own.  My husband is a Fireman, and he is in another state 2 days of the week, and I manage fine on my own.

Good Luck, I am sure you will be fine.  Plus, in the end there is sooo much stuff that you can do to keep yourself busy.  Lots of laundry, packing your bags, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. 


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12-25-2012 at 5:42 AM
ungraceful...
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I'm a pretty private person so I wouldn't want others around a whole lot if I am not super comfortable with them. I'd say for June at least you would probably be fine. Could someone just come hang out with you for July?


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12-25-2012 at 7:02 AM
this decaf...
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It totally depends on your personality, I personally wouldn't have a problem if DH had to be gone right now. I would rather be alone than have my MIL here just because I don't know her that well. If it were my mom I could be blunt with her but most women don't have that relationship with their MIL, but honestly right now at almost 39 weeks I'd rather be alone than have someone constantly poking around telling me I'm about to pop.

Maybe you could find some sort of pregnant lady group soon. I know a girl in one [I didn't join, it's not quite my thing] but they go to yoga/lunch/coffee, we're near DC in VA. That way maybe you'll have some friends by the time July rolls around?

Most FTMs go late anyways so he'll probably be home!

12-25-2012 at 7:27 AM
brianabrad
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I agree that it really depends on how your pregnancy is going. If you are healthy and baby is healthy, you will be fine alone. With just over two weeks to go, I feel fine 95% of the time. Some days I'm more tired than others but I just take it easy, take a shower and a nap and I'm fine the next day. I've been blessed with a very good pregnancy though. I've pretty much continued to do everything I normally do. The only thing that really wears me down these days is trying to do a grocery shopping run after working all day and then cooking dinner. It's just too much! So we started going on weekends instead and it has been better because we are forced to be more organized with our list because prego me doesn't want to make a mid-week trip anymore.

As far as your MIL staying for an entire month, I'd personally say no. My MIL came to visit for a week around the baby shower and it was more exhausting than helpful. I have a great relationship with my MIL but its a lot of work to have someone staying in your home for an extended period of time. I felt like I had to be in host mode the entire time and the day she left I was so exhausted I took off work to have "me" time, alone in my house. Now on the same hand, if your MIL want to come for the final week and stay with you just in case you went into labor or something happened then I can see where that would be nice. However, if you are a FTM its pretty unlikely you will have the baby before your DH returns anyway since FTM's normally go to 41 weeks.

 

12-25-2012 at 8:20 AM
baconswife...
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i think with a normal healthy pregnancy physically u'd be fine- assuming u could get to the hospital if u had to...n i dont know about ur personality but i can speak 4 myself- mentally i hate being alone...i know i couldnt manage. js
 
12-25-2012 at 8:41 AM
lakreuz
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Sure you'll be 'ok' assuming you don't go on bedrest. It's not like you can't do anything for yourself - although I sure do appreciate help with shoes and socks lately! But I'd say take the help. Maybe not for a straight month, but different people a week at a time like you said. You're going to be very lonely - hell I feel lonely a lot ever since I stopped working and my family is all close! My SO works a lot - like 60 some hours a week, so that he can take off for a month when our LO is here. It gets very lonely. I can't imagine if I knew no one where I lived! Plus everyone starts to go a little stir crazy at the end... it's a long wait! If the people that care about you want to come and keep you company for a little bit let them!

 
12-25-2012 at 10:38 AM
KathleenPe...
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Thanks!!! I think I'll be okay by myself. I'm a pretty independent person anyway, and am capable of taking care of myself and our two well behaved German shepherds... Now when I'm 8 months, I may need some help, but I can always ask my neighbor or my husbands coworkers if I absolutely needed something. I think I would go nuts having someone here for a whole month.
But I think that's a great idea to have people come for just the last two weeks in July. My SIL and my best friend have both offered to come for a few days so I may take them up on their offers.
I think my husband is concerned because my MD wants to do a preventative cerclage because of previous cervical problems, but said I don't need to go on bed rest unless my cervix actually starts to thin, which it hasn't yet, so I'm optimistic and hopeful that I'll be okay... And I'm expecting a scheduled c section so my husband will be able to plan when to be back instead of trying to fly after my water breaks, and then misses the birth of our first baby.
Thank you all for your thoughts! I really appreciate it!
Kathleen
 
12-25-2012 at 11:56 AM
KathleenPe...
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KathleenPetrie is not online. Last active: 01-12-2013, 7:34 PMNewbie
We do have 2 big dogs but they're both trained and well behaved. We have a huge backyard for them to run in if I can't walk them, and a nice neighborhood to walk around if I can. I have a neighbor who doesn't work in the summers who could help if I needed something or ha an emergency, but I think you're right, I would go crazy having someone stay with me since I'm pretty independent.
 
12-25-2012 at 11:56 AM
jessalared
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I still work full time and take care of a home and 8 year old and can do everything I did before, it isn't a disability lol. Granted you're having a healthy pregnancy! You will be fine.

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12-25-2012 at 4:29 PM
hisnhers
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Cant she just come for the time that he is away?

Mine just got here and is staying for three months since she lives on another continent, and despite being sweet as pie she is driving me up the wazoo already. Im an independant person who likes my own space, and find it super invasive for her to be here for an extended period of time!

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