2nd Trimester

MIL rant

XmasDivine — Mon, 20 May 2013 16:32:47 GMT

I have never had a good connection with my MIL. We are just different people with very different opinions. Honestly it confuses me as to why my DH loves me when I am so different from his mom and family. Anyway, we have always had problems related to his mom. Because she makes statements that hurt my feelings or that I don't agree with. For the first five years we have been together I kinda just sat back and took her crap. Not my best choice, but I was cautious because I love my husband. He is the best man in the world and he ccouldn't love me more. I feel so blessed on a daily basis that I have him. The problem with me "taking" MILs crap was that it builds...and I eventually burst. We are past that and we are still making progress in dealing with this issue. For instance: I am now completely honest with MIL. To the point of telling her that she was being rude on the last occurrence. (That shut her up) its not the best relationship, I don't believe it ever will be just because we are such different people. I don't have a problem with this..I do have a problem with her sh*t affecting me and DHs marriage.

Since I have become pregnant...the situational things have gotten worse. Mostly on her end. My choice to now be honest with her seems to only be fueled by pregnancy :) which I'm quite proud of. I can quickly and readily tell anyone straight up they are bat sh*t crazy when it comes to the baby growing in my belly, even my MIL. This wwouldn't bother my DH except that his mom is "crazy". FIL and DH keep saying she is menopausal and some of it stems from that..I think this is BS..I'm pregnant..who cares. Anyway...MIL keeps getting her feelings hurt (for very stupid reasons aka Facebook post)... Crying to FIL..FIL calls DH and pits DH between his family and me and my family and then DH and I have horrendous fights. Don't get me wrong, we fight like any normal couple, but we have worked very hard to work on all of our issues did when we re short with each other and I proudly say that we don't fight often. But when we fight about our family it is vicious and it leaves scars on our marriage and relationship. We had one of these fights yesterday..because of a FB post that neither of us even posted... It's so frustrating that something so stupid can be so blown up by MIL..

DH is going to call his dad today and express how difficult it is for him to be out in the middle when these situations occur. And ask that if there is a problem that MIL has that she feels needs addressed that she call that person directly (in yesterday's situation this would have eithe been me or my mum). And that if it wasn't a big enough deal to actually get on the phone with one of us, to consider that it isn't actually worth fighting about and not call.

DH and I are also considering marriage counciling through our church. I hold a lot of anger and resentment towards his mom. And even though I think that DH is taking the right steps in asking to not be utilized as a middle man, I don't believe that this is necessarily going to solve or prevent future problems...I could hope but I think that would be nieve.

I am looking for support and possibly suggestions for how to move forward. I am not looking to have a great friendship with my MIL. If she wasn't my MIL I wouldn't be her friend. I am only looking fr suggestions to have honest communication for the sake of DH. And suggestions for me on how to manage my anger and resentment towards MIL. And suggests for me and DH and how to move forward from these terrible fights where we are rripped apart by our families.

22 week ultrasound?

palm513 — Mon, 20 May 2013 16:52:40 GMT

I just went in for my 16 week checkup and they scheduled my ultrasound for 22 weeks instead of 20 is that normal?

With my first pregnancy I had twins and preE that started around 20 weeks so I had a LOT of ultrasounds. Everything is going good this time it just seems weird that they are doing it at 22w cause I thought the anatomy scan was supposed to be done between 18 and 20 weeks.

Stroller/Car seat Sets

livleen3 — Mon, 20 May 2013 16:39:34 GMT

Happy Monday!! I have bought nothing so far : )) Im 26 weeks!

Yea yea I know.. I need to get on it. So Im def looking at the top 10 car seats etc that this website suggests. I will also go see what strollers seem easy to move around...

If you are a STM or have done alot of research, what car seat/strolller SETS do you suggest? Or why you don't like sets? I kinda feel like this is one of the most important purchases.. So tell me what you think plzz

To paint or not to...

Southerndancinmama — Mon, 20 May 2013 03:20:52 GMT

I apologize if this has been a recent question. Haven't had much time to get on the past few days. We have just bought a house that needs serious updated including paint throughout. I would love to help but am a little worried about painting. I do plan on asking my doctor but was curious if anyone had doctors advice about this already? We also need to paint outside of house... Wonde if that might be a little safer since it is encouraged to be in a well ventilated area?

Getting a little Crampy...

dottiemorrison — Mon, 20 May 2013 13:58:50 GMT

I am 35 years old and have lost a pregnancy before this one. I am 24 weeks along and for the past week I have been having some cramps. Not uncomfortable or hurting, just noticable. They are not all the time or constant. I feel the baby moving around alot, but the cramping has got me a little concerned. I do not know if this is the start of Braxton Hicks or if they should be starting this early. Any advice would be appreciated.

Critique My Registry...

atcwag — Sun, 19 May 2013 21:43:40 GMT

If you have some spare time, could you critique my registries and let me know any suggestions? Thank you in advance!

I plan to breastfeed and have baby room in with us for the first few months. I will go back to work after 12 weeks (sometime after the first of the year).

We have already purchased/have:
- crib/mattress (Graco Lauren/Kolcraft Pediatric 800)
- swing (FP Snugabunny)
- nursing pillow (My Brestfriend)
- baby book
- glider/ottoman
- jumperoo
- lots of 6-9 month long-sleeve onesies
- lots of diapers/wipes

http://www.amazon.com/registry/baby/6O796QEWL49X

http://www.target.com/baby/registry/SyEDwiQQZdjIAWqcUyUP-A

My baby has a thick neck??...Down's Syndrome??

leslieshadley22 — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:36:11 GMT

I had an ultrasound at 22 weeks and my baby boy has a thick neck. Its a 6.5 and the doctor said it is suppose to be a 6. They said this could mean he has down's syndrome. But the blood test I had a 18 weeks came back great. He only had a 1 in 40,000 chance of having down's syndrom but then they found that his neck was thicker than normal. The genetic counselor said that with him having a thicker neck it increases his chance of having down's by 10-20%. Even with that he only has a 1 in 2,000 chance of having down's. They offered an aminocentesis which is where they draw the fluid out of the sac that the baby is in. But I had a 1 in 300 of going into labor early because of the test. So we didnt have it done, we were to scared of something going wrong and losing our son. We had some blood test done that could look at the 18th, 21st, and x chromosomes. My husband and I werent suppose to ever have a baby and this pregnancy was an unexpected thing. We are so lucky we got pregnant because I have PCOS. I am very worried about my son and right now we are waiting for the results of the blood test. Any advice on getting through the waiting of the results without going crazy and if it does come back he has down's, any advice on raising a child with down's syndrome. Thanks to anyone with any advice.

todays the day.

trac101s — Mon, 20 May 2013 14:42:10 GMT

Today is the day that hubby and I have our twenty week ultrasound.
Praying for a healthy baby and hopefully all goes well.
and maybe we'll be lucky enough to know the sex!!

excited and nervous..

Tingling and numbness

afreud — Mon, 20 May 2013 14:14:12 GMT

Anyone else have a hard time sleeping from the tingling and numbness in their fingers? Some nights it's not bad but some nights it keeps me up cause Ikeep having to move lol I even sometimes have it at work cause my arm is on my desk too long...

Maybe I'm overreacting.

VVT3111 — Mon, 20 May 2013 01:52:33 GMT

For some reason I have a feeling that my SO's sister in law doesn't like the fact that I'm expecting.

Everytime we have family get togethers someone would ask how I am or how is the baby. Especially my SO's mom and his sister in law would get all quiet or roll her eyes.

We announced the pregnancy on Xmas and the look on her face was like she saw a ghost. And she made this comment in a rude tone asking if I'm even ready while everyone else was happy for me.

I am younger than her, I'm 20 and she's 30. She got married not too long ago. Shes got a good head on her shoulders And for some reason I think she feels like she's the one that has to be pregnant. My SO is the youngest out of the three and his mom is so excited because this will be her first grandchild.

There's this weird tension everytime I see her. I don't wanna feel like I should keep quiet about my pregnancy, but idk if she's been trying to have a baby and I don't want her to think I'm throwing it in her face...

She does make smart comments like "thank god I'm not pregnant and have to worry about a kid, I have to think about my career"

And I feel like she's talking down to me or something.

Anxiety anyone ??

Gilly73 — Mon, 20 May 2013 07:47:04 GMT

The past couple of days , I have had waves of anxiety palpations. Not had anxiety many years .. Bit of a shock as been feeling great the days prior to them . Just wondered if it was due to extra hormones etc ? Feel shattered today !
I am 13 weeks 3 days today .

Sore hips and sides!

kangel123 — Fri, 17 May 2013 14:23:26 GMT

I am not really a side sleeper so now that I find it really uncomfortable to sleep on my back and have no choice but to sleep on my side I wake up with my sides and hips so sore it sucks! Any suggestions!

Help with clothes

ScarlettV — Sun, 19 May 2013 17:40:46 GMT

Hi ladies. Bopping over from 1st tri to ask for advice with maternity clothes.

I'm trying to buy some sale items ahead of time and unsure what size to get. I'm very tiny and usually wear a size xs or sometimes s. should I buy the same size in maternity? Unfortunately all the maternity clothes I have attempted to try on are just way too huge, even the smalls, since I'm not even showing yet so im not getting a good idea of size. i will be about 17 to 28 weeks during the season I'm buying for. Any help is appreciated!!

Edit for typo

Fear of MIL? UPDATED

BeachBucket — Sat, 18 May 2013 18:42:30 GMT

I will start by saying that I do love my MIL. She is a great person and she loves her children very much. I am very introverted and prefer to keep to myself mostly. So it's hard for me to distinguish between what is normal and what I consider normal. If that makes sense??? My parents are "live and let live" so I never really have a lot of input from them on things.

I am to the half way point of my pregnancy and things with MIL have started to really freak me out/annoy me. I find myself wondering what things are going to be like once our baby is here.

I have decided to breastfeed and this is something MIL speaks out against, constantly. She tells me that I will hate it and it will hurt. That I should just start off with formula. She has said how excited she is to take baby to her 5 day long company picnic next year (a few states away) while baby is only 6-7 months old. That she can supplement with formula if need be on vacation. This wouldn't be a family trip...just her taking our baby. She says baby will start staying overnight with her at 2 weeks old. Because I will be exhausted and need a break. Also, she says if I don't then the baby will never go to anyone and be overly attached.

MIL already has purchased a crib, monitor, diapers, bottles, and many other newborn-infant basics all for her house. While my husband and I are still trying to decide on which room we will use as a nursery.

Right now I just laugh and try and brush her off. My husband says its just her being excited and to let her love our baby. And I do want her too. I would never push her out or exclude her. There have been some difficult moments with her in the past and we have had to set a lot of boundaries. It has been going well, but I fear with a baby she will walk straight through the boundaries.

Is this just excitement? Is she just saying and doing these things because she is an excited first time grandparent? Or do I have a reason to be worried? Anyone else gone through this or worry too?

Thank you to everyone who read this and replied. I appreciate your time and advice. I have spoken with my husband and he fully understands where I am coming from. As I mentioned before, we have had boundary issues in the past. So he is well aware of her crazy. He said he was really hoping that she is just being excited and that it's nothing more than talk. But agrees we need to start laying down foundations now.

We have decided to go ahead and gently "correct" her when she starts talking crazy. She wasted NO TIME in letting us get a first crack at it too. We have our anatomy scan this week and have decided to not find out baby's sex (we both LOVE surprises and can't think of a better one).

Not only did MIL MELTDOWN over us not finding out, she could not believe that we wouldn't be having her along for the scan. DH quickly stepped up and let her know that we made this little one together and that's how it will continue to be. In light of the new meltdown, we have also decided to that we will not be notifying anyone when I go into labor. We will make all the appropriate calls after baby is here and we are comfortably settled.

Sometimes I think if you are too close to the situation you can over analyze it. I had a feeling my gut was right here though. Thanks again for all the support and feedback. Best wishes with all your pregnancies/little ones already here. :)

Leaking Boobs...

nthurs10 — Mon, 20 May 2013 14:15:37 GMT

So today I am 24 weeks, and lastnight I started leaking. I swear I feel like a freak of nature..lol So anyone think this is super early or pretty typical???

Anyone else NOT near family?

karissa2009 — Sat, 18 May 2013 22:42:52 GMT

Hi all. DH and I have been doing lots of baby talks (obviously) and the biggest thing stumping us right now is child care. We recently moved 2000 miles across country, away from pretty much all of our family and friends. Don't get me wrong, we're making new friends at our new jobs, and he has a few childhood friends that live about an hour away, but overall, we're on our own. Which means we'll need some form of child care at some point. A little back ground--I'm an RN working 3 12hr shifts a week and he works the traditional 5 8hr shifts. So, at present, our best plan is for me to work the 2 days he is off each week and have 1 day of overlap with a nanny. We are hoping that he can convince his work to go 4 10hr shifts. Last resort is that he cuts back to part time, working 3-4 days a week.

Anyone else in this situation or similar? What solutions have you come up with? TIA!

Nervous about ovarian cyst...

kabrissette — Mon, 20 May 2013 12:46:56 GMT

Hey Ladies,

I have an ultrasound today and I'm quite a mix of excited and nervous. I'm 12wk2d and I'm told there's a small chance they may be able to detect the sex of the baby today which is very exciting! However, at my last ultrasound I was told that I have a 2cm dermoid cyst on one of my ovaries and that's one reason I'm having another u/s now - they need to keep monitoring it to ensure the cyst isn't growing. The doctor mentioned that if it gets "big enough" they might need to remove it surgically while I'm still pregnant. Thus far it hasn't caused me any pain or symptoms.

I looked up some things online (probably a dumb idea because I'm freaking out now) and it sounds like there is a chance these cysts can cause infections or "twist" and put the health of the baby in jeopardy. I'd very much prefer to wait and have this removed AFTER the baby is born if I can...

Anyone dealt with a dermoid cyst before, either during pregnancy or not? Any stories you could share would be helpful!

gender reveal for long distance family???

mahnnis — Fri, 17 May 2013 15:10:45 GMT

Morning ladies,

My hubby and I find out the sex of the bay on Thrusday May 23rd. So Excited!

Let me give you some background really quickly before I ask my questions. My husband and I live away frmo 99% of our family; some live in Florida, indiana, Tennessee, West Virginia, etc. My mom and sisters live in Indiana, and their feelings were hurt a little when I caleld ot tell them we were pregnant, I giess because I wasn't ab;e tto do anythign super special or creative. My husbands family isn't that bad, but if we do fo rmy sid eof the family we must do for his.

So my question is what are some really cute inexpensive ways to tell ourloved ones in the other states that were having a boy OR a girl??? We already agreed no flowers with just pink or blue. And we are against the cakes or cupacakes due to how hard it'll be to get them there.

My one idea I am thinking of is, get a small box and put pink and blue shredded paper in the box, with a card that will say the babies name. And/or one pink balloon and one blue ballon in the box that has confetti it the color we are having...

Ideas??? Advice???

Baby moves one day then stops the next.

VVT3111 — Sun, 19 May 2013 17:34:54 GMT

Is it normal that one day the baby is moving like crazyyyyy then stops the next three days. Well not completely stop. I feel her move once and the rest of the day she's done . It's been three days now. She hasn't moved at all today and I felt her move once yesterday. It's just scaring me.

I forgot to mention I'm 25 weeks

not hungry....shouldn't I be hungry all the time? FTM

afreitas051279 — Tue, 14 May 2013 17:30:28 GMT

I'm 22 weeks and have no appitite... I'm not worried about my son being ok since I can feel him move, and I'm taking my pre-natials like I should. but I have no appitite at all and from everything I read LO should be growing like crazy and I should be in that "I can't eat enough" stage but I have to remind myself to eat. I was laid off almost 3 weeks ago so it's not like I'm stuck at a desk doing work and forget to eat/don't have the time. I'm nervous I may not be eating enough to allow LO to grow the way he should any advise?

We have movement

MissLauraPants — Mon, 20 May 2013 14:32:30 GMT

I'm pretty sure I have felt some flutters the past couple weeks but could never really confirm if they were or not as a FTM.

But I woke up at around 3:00 am on Sunday and felt some strange rolling in my stomach and laid there feeling it. Thought it was pretty strange and maybe movement and just went back to bed.

Now this morning I woke up at 6:45 am (I usually have to wake up at 7:00 am for work) to some more rolling in my stomach. So I turned on the lamp and looked at my stomach and I could feel the pressure and see him going to my left side and a little to the middle of my stomach, it was pretty crazy actually to see the very tiny movement but it was there. Totally cool. I'm sure it will intensify in the next couple of weeks..exciting!

Anyone else gaining a lot?

SPNM24 — Fri, 17 May 2013 01:18:04 GMT

I am pregnant with my second and eating exactly as I always do...but have managed to pack on 17lbs in 18 weeks. :( I am shocked. I was 3lbs lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight (I have a 14 month old) when I got pregnant with this one...I am 5'9" and was 137...so I know thats slim...just wondering if I am the only one.

Doctor told me not to gain weight for the next couple of weeks.

Anxious!!!

clairedavid12 — Mon, 20 May 2013 01:42:18 GMT

Soooo I don't want to rush this pregnancy, bc I am so blessed to be having another baby (my son will be 8 next month) and I am loving being pregnant... BUTTTTTTTT I soooooo want June 7th to be here so we can see the baby again and HOPEfully find out if it is a girl or boy!!!!!! (I'm predicting GIRL... So we'll see) I'm just soooo excited to see how much our little one has grown!!! ♥

No kicks

Manda663 — Fri, 17 May 2013 22:52:30 GMT

I am 21 weeks and I am quite worried because I didn't feel any kicks until now! Oh and it's my first pregnancy...help??

Little movement

BortaBaby — Mon, 20 May 2013 01:57:47 GMT

Ill be 22 weeks Wednesday and I can't help but worry that I don't feel my baby girl move enough. I do feel butterfly like feelings every now and then but it's not very often and I've been wondering if this is normal?