3rd Trimester

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

carolinettc — Wed, 22 May 2013 17:15:45 GMT

I saw this on the main page and had to click on it to what the story was all about. I have a pushy MIL and even she didn't mention being in the room. Be firm, it's your experience....

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

mikesbride12 — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:39:29 GMT

Of course you get the final say -its your stuff on display -when your DH is comfortable putting HIS completely mangled junk on display for YOUR parents after just pushing out a baby, then he can have an opinion. If you want YOUR mom in there it is totally understandable, she's the one that has been there for you your whole life and knows how to best take care of you -no offense to DH but childbirth is not something men can really understand or relate to, they dont know what youre going through or how to help manage your pain and emotions. Not to mention, your mom is the one that pushed you out. its ony fair she would get to witness you experience the same pain you probably put her through. if your DH needs his mom in there to comfort and take care of HIM, he probably shouldnt be in there to begin wit!

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

szknightbuchanan — Tue, 21 May 2013 03:40:20 GMT

Only one in the room with me is dh. Mil is upset but who cares. It's not her choice. And I love her tons I'm just not comfortable having people watch this go down. Good luck. Hope they give you some respect for your choice.

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

coleethansmom — Sat, 04 May 2013 17:16:25 GMT

You are not being unreasonable at all. Like what the other moms have said, you are the one doing the heavy lifting so you should be the one who decides what kind of environment you want to labor in. Ask your hubby if he would be comfortable taking a huge dump in front of your parents.

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

adj3ts — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:32:49 GMT

Oh no!! Stand you ground, it's your body and your choice who you choose to expose it to. I would recommend you speak with your husband and explain to him how you feel, hopefully he will get it, if not maybe he should "take many seats" along side his parents. In laws can be a trip and always make out to be the victim..whatever!! They will be just fine. Good luck to you!!

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

bigday111111 — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 16:05:16 GMT

Stand your ground girl, this is YOUR decision!! First of all.... I wanted the same thing, DH and my mom. BC as comforting as your husband can be, your mom has already been through this and sometimes you just need your mommy! I think anything that would make you uncomfortable at such an important time shouldnt be allowed to happen. If your husband feels like it is unfair to have your mom in there tell him tough! At this point you are putting in the labor (litterally) So unfair or not if you want your cat in there with you he just needs to suck it up and say ok. You need to get on the same page as him and then present a united front with his seemingly pushy parents.

Secondly it is not selfish to want to BOND with YOUR baby! I am sorry that you are going through this, especially so close to when you are going to be having your baby! I say just make a plan with your hubby, let everyone know what that plan is for birth and after (visiting etc. ) stick to it! But he needs to be your rock right now and help rangle his family into place.

Good luck with everything. It will all work out in the end, just state your case, stick to it and after that dont let it stress you out!

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

liciav23 — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 15:34:10 GMT

You only have two legs, one for DH and one for your mom, so unless others plan on delivering the baby, get the hell out!

As for me, it'll only be DH, a nurse will be earning her pay that day (poor darling! lol)

Hubby and I put this baby in here and, besides some medical professionals, we'll be the only ones present when she comes out!

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

krys8402 — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:16:32 GMT

There is no way I'd let my MIL and FIL in!! You have every right to only allow your DH and mother in. You're already going to be out there for the world to see, and they should understand your wishes. So sorry you have to deal with that, but don't do it if you don't want to!

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

MoofyKitten — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 17:10:22 GMT

I am almost positive that there are legal ramifications to this matter. I've given on a few things here and there but I would not budge an inch on this. No one, absolutely no one, has the right to elbow their way in to seeing you in what is one of the most physically painful and stressful parts of your life. It is your body. I think that if your husband does not have your back, get your doctor to. They will understand and possibly be able to explain it better. And if worst comes to worst, they'll be able to keep them out when the times comes if they are still insisting.

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

kittykat020 — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 00:06:43 GMT

How and who you give birth around should be your decision. It's an extremely vulnerable time and you need to feel comfortable and supported by who is there or your labor could fail to progress. Animals stop labor all the time when they feel threatened. Humans are the same way. Ask your husband who he would be comfortable pooping in front of because parts of labor are essentially the same thing. Shame on your parents in law for putting you in that situation and making you cry. Ask your mother in law if her father in law was in the room while she gave birth. I highly doubt it. Tell them they can be the first people in the room after baby is born. That's not selfish, it's common sense. My dad has no desire to be in the room while I give birth. I told me my mother in law and grandmother only 2 people were allowed in the room and unless they wanted to fight off my mom or husband they were out of luck. Just make something up about hospital policy.

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

sdvora1 — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:56:25 GMT

RedheadBaker:
This thread is 5 months old and still going . . . I think this is a record.

Still all valid. :) I'm curious about this issue, because my husband and I went from agreeing that we wouldn't have anyone visit us for a month after the baby was born (so, visitors OK in late September), to him telling me that his parents really want to be there in early September (2 weeks after due date) to him telling me that his mother is already planning to travel in August, so she'll just pop in and see us (right around the due date) although she says "It's OK if the baby's not there yet." Now, he's saying to me: "I'll try to keep her out of the delivery room."

And when I get upset, he takes it as me not liking his parents, and what's so wrong with them, and it'll be okay... This about the woman who, when my husband's sister went into labor 2 months ago with her first baby, told everyone that the baby would be born within 5 hours (thereby putting a clock on my poor, laboring sister-in-law that was completely unrealistic), and then proceeded to text the whole family throughout the night with information about how dilated my sister-in-law's cervix was. All through her 40 hours of labor.

I don't want to make my husband choose between me and his parents, but I just don't think he gets it.

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

SLaBM2B — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 17:45:43 GMT

RedheadBaker:
This thread is 5 months old and still going . . . I think this is a record.

RIGHT? WTF? I started reading it and noticed that one girl was 62 weeks pregnant.. LOL. Thankfully I caught it before I got down to page 2

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

hkdecoteau — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 14:44:19 GMT

My husband and I had the same discussion. Talk to your doctor about this. Usually they have rules about how many people can be in the delivery room, and let him/her know how you feel. The doctor may take it out of your hands and choose who is allowed. I personally don't understand how FIL thinks he can be in there if you own dad won't be. My dad won't be in my delivery room, and he does not want to be!

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

scarlettchelsea93 — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 13:59:38 GMT

my other half just read this with me and he agrees with me that your oh and mil and fil are out of order its going to be hard enough with out having every tom *** and harry in there with you im due in 7 weeks my mum and my other half will be with me when i deliver i've said no visitors other than those two until i'm home from the hospital as we want to be with our little girl on our own his parents arent aloud to the hospital AT ALL! and they arent happy but my OH says whatever i want goes i'm giving him his first born child he loves me and knows how scared and nervous i am and supports me unconditionally show your OH this comment and see if he thinks you are being unfair at least his parents get to come visit i know im being selfish not having visitors but its how i want it and me and my OH wont let anyone change our minds x

Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)

RedheadBaker — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:23:30 GMT

This thread is 5 months old and still going . . . I think this is a record.