Blended Families

Well, well, well....what do we have here...

dmndsr4eva — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:44:30 GMT

So as you may recall I am still friends with BF's exwife. We texted a little bit over the weekend and she mentioned that her girls told her that BF's GF was not there this weekend. They spend two or three nights there and it appears that her and her kid were not home. They live there. And I didn't ask or want him to but my FI asked my son if he saw her this weekend and he said no. I don't want to jump the gun but I think they may have broken up. We shall see. It is very odd for her to not be there because from what I can tell they are ALWAYS together and it is especially odd that she would not celebrate Father's Day with him. Especially since she was telling everyone that he was her kid's father now since her child does not have a father.

Obviously I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I don't doubt he would find a new GF within months if they did break up. After almost 2 years I think I have it in me to be nice to him if she is out of the picture. I think it would be a real turning point for our coparenting. We shall see....

Every. Single. Year.

wendilea — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:19:42 GMT

BM1 has not purchased SS's train ticket, and now wants to change the dates of his visitation. DH responded "This was settled months ago, it is now 2 1/2 weeks before the visit, and I'm not changing the dates."

Every year she has some kind of issue. If that kid is not on the train on July 7, we'll file contempt. I don't care if it will take 6 months to get a court date and he'll be 18 a few months later.

Intro...

holly753 — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:49:22 GMT

Hi, I have lurked this board for a little while and would like to become more active on it. I am 36, I have 3 children from my first marriage that are 15,13 and 11. I have been remarried for 5 years and DH has a 12 yo daughter. We have a 2 yo DD together and are expecting another little girl in Aug. Looks like lots of good conversation happens here.

PISSED at my lawyer.

+just+j+ — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:26:56 GMT

I'm finally getting around to getting my Social Security Card updated to my maiden name. I thought my name was changed in the divorce decree.

I told him - even emailed him when I had to make my final decision - that I wanted it back to my last name. That didn't get done. I still legally have my husbands last name.

I am so pissed.

I'm also mad at myself for not catching it. I was so caught up in the CO and the divorce portion, I didn't see my name change was not in there. I assumed that would be seperate document.

The whole purpose of doing it in the divorce decree is it would save me money.

Not only did the divorce cost me $900 more than he quoted and was expected, he didn't get this done AND he lost paperwork with a signature that we had already gotten from XH. When we went back and asked him for him to sign again, I had to go thru XH being pissy and second guessing if he really wanted to agree with everything. He also did not include the document stating that XH and I had taken the Children in the Middle class - which we were VERY pro-active and got done and sent to him immediately after - and additional paper work had to be filed for that.

How much of the $900 extra is for processing his screw ups???

Needless to say, my lawyer is fired. I don't even know how to respond to his email informing me that this did not happen. I'm so damn livid I want to cry.

I wanted my maiden name back.

F*cking lawyers.

Seriously MIL. Head Lice. P!ssed!!!

Pamelacake — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:35:50 GMT

When I first found out that Youngest SD's had nits I contacted everyone they had recently been around to give them a head's up to check for it or spray down furniture as a precaution.

MIL was the first person I contacted as they had spent the night with her about a week before. I sent her a message that she read but didn't respond to.

I just found out that MIL has had lice for a while and SIL treated her at the beginning of May for it. SIL said she was infested with it. the bugs were literally falling out of her hair!!! Why would she not say something!

MIL told SIL not to tell anyone bc she was so embarrassed... so pass it onto your grands?

I spent 5 hours going through 6yo SD's hair last night. I have to go through 5yo SD's hair today. I'm furious. common courtesy.. really!

ETA: SD's were treated for it immediately then. but have been to g'ma's since then and now have it again.

IL relationship with SD versus DC

HoolyGo — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:54:05 GMT

As a recap, I am due in August and have a 3 almost 4 year old SD. DH is not from the US and my ILs live in the country in Europe he is from. His dad speaks a little English, his mom none.

I don't want to create things to worry about, but lately I've been concerned about SD feeling left out of the relationship between my ILs and my DC. SD only speaks English and is unable to really communicate with her grandparents. DH does call them on Skype 2 to 4 times per month when she's with us, but there seems to be a lack of connection there. DH has not yet been able to take SD "home" though we're hoping to be able to next year without getting courts involved.

DH will be a SAHD with this baby and will be able to teach the baby his language. His parent's have already made plans to come to the US twice in the first 6 months of our baby's life and are flying DH's adult brother out with his girlfriend one of those times. whereas they have only visited once in SD's life, and she's never met her uncle. They just seem more excited, I think in part because they feel like they'll be able to have a closer relationship with this child. But, I don't want SD to feel left out. Obviously she'll see them when they visit, but the stated reason for both visits is to see the new baby.

Has anyone had a situation similar to this? Do you think SD won't really notice/care since she barely knows who they are anyway? Are there things DH should be doing?

Intro

adawn1981 — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 21:51:19 GMT

Hello :) I am new to this board. I am 32. My H and I got married last April and we are expecting our first baby together in December! Fun year! I now have 2 step kids. A 17 year old stepson who is the ideal teenager and a 10 year old stepdaughter who is a sweet girl but a bit difficult at times. She has no problems with me, she just doesn't like rules or listening or anything like that :) Pretty normal for a "tween" girl. My parents were divorced when I was 5, but my Dad got remarried when I was 16 and they had a baby girl when I was 17. So I have 2 brothers and a half sister (who is a teenager now). I have been through the blended family thing before as a teenager so I hope I do well with my "new" blended family! I am sure I will need advice and I look forward to getting to know you!

Petty BS

wendilea — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 04:42:57 GMT

I already posted about BM making SS remove DH's response on his FB page. Eh.

Friday morning SS texted DH and asked for our address - again. Write it down, FFS. He figured it was for a Father's Day card, which arrived today. SS signed the inside, but the card was addressed by either SD1 or BM1 - it's girly handwriting. The return address is only SS's first name and their PO box - and addressed to only DH's first name. So now we're just going to pretend there's no last name? Or does it cause physical pain to write it? It's so petty and infantile, I just don't understand.

17+ years ago they got divorced - build a damn bridge and get over it.

Oh BM You are So predictable.

Pamelacake — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:39:19 GMT

Little backstory on how she used to pull out of her planned weekends,

BM would call about 20 times every Thursday to fight. BM ultimately wanted to tick DH off to the point where he would tell her she couldn't have SD's. I told DH he couldn't legally do that so he never did. Then BM would cancel for the weekend. or just for Friday evening and want to pick up Saturday. Saturday would come and BM was all of a sudden deathly ill.

Fast forward a bit..BM finally stopped doing this on Thursdays and now it's Mondays. BM calls with some lame excuse as to why she can't get SD's. Neither DH nor I have responded to anything. The last text sent to her said "K" B/C BM's last weekend to have SD's , BM called on Monday to say she wouldn't have gas money until Saturday morning (It was the first week of the month, and she gets a check at the beginning of every month) LIE. BM then called off for Saturday as well saying that she was sick. and once again.. BM was at the bar both nights!

BM called yesterday (Monday) to say that she would not have gas money to pickup until Saturday morning and please just accept it how it is and let her have them Saturday morning. This weekend coming up is hers. BM's vm hasn't been responded to. DH is almost sure she will call back in a couple of days to cancel Saturday as well. BM must have forgotten that she used the gas excuse last time.

If BM doesn't back out, DH has no intentions on sending SD's on Saturday as he now knows he legally doesn't have to. Not to be mean.. but because of everything that has happened.

As far as CPS.. Still NOTHING!!! SD's counselor asked me about it yesterday and she was in awe that DH has not been contacted.

ETA: Sorry for my long posts.. I have no one to talk to about these things. lol

How did everyone's Father's Day go?

Hopeforthebest — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:27:55 GMT

DH Skyped the kids (like he does each Sunday). They are young, but neither seemed to know it was Father's Day so not so much as a Happy Father's Day. As a matter of fact SS played his DS the whole time while sitting in front of the camera. And at the start told his father he didn't want to talk to him.

Sigh...I dread the teenage years.

I told DH to remember they are just kids with a mother that hates him so of course she wasn't going to remind them to tell him Happy FD, and that we would properly celebrate when they arrive for summer. I took him to the movies and made him a special dinner.

I hope you all had better ones.

I wish the laws were clearer (latchkey kids)

gin9874 — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:16:57 GMT

I wish my state had an actual age for latchkey laws. When we originally approached BM with the idea of keeping SD in June and getting the boys every weekend plus some other weekends, DH asked her who would be watching the kids this summer since at the same time BM told us she got a M-Fri daytime job. We didn't want the boys this month during the week because DH and I cannot take off work this month and we can't trust that they would behave well enough for DD or SD to watch them. She said SF was going to be home with the kids if he wasn't working (he is gone for sometimes a month or two at a time out on the road) but is currently home at the moment and then she said her mom (who works nights) if necessary. She was fine with the idea of the boys staying there during the week and knew the reason we wanted them more weekends than weekdays. This month is the first time we've even left SD alone (with DD) for more than 30 mins.

Well we picked up the boys on Friday and the first thing out of their mouths when we drove off were that they had been home alone most of the day. DH asked if they've been home alone all week. They said not but they had been 3 days. So DH starts asking questions like what do they do during the day. Play video games. It comes out that one of them didn't eat breakfast or lunch that day because they were too busy playing games. They mention they've missed at least a meal each day they were home alone. They said SF is working part time at the stables doing maintenance while he's not on the road (for his normal job). Oldest SS is 10 and has severe ADHD as in he is on a pretty high dosage of meds which was just increased in the past few months. Youngest SS turned 9 over the weekend and has an dr. appointment because the school believes he also has ADHD and dyslexia after their testing so he needs to get in for. Oldest SS has other issues with hitting and severe tantrums. I bring up the games and ADHD because these boys probably wouldn't notice a fire if they were playing games, much less anything else. I actually had to tell older SS this weekend to go the bathroom while has playing Xbox because he kept grabbing himself trying to hold it in and didn't want to stop playing (this is the one that also has kidney issues). DH had a conversation not 6 months ago with BM about leaving the boys with SD who was 11 at the time while she ran errands (she wasn't working at that time). So it's obvious she doesn't care what he thinks.

So DH and I discuss all weekend what to do. We come to the conclusion that she is going to leave them at home no matter what we think. So the plan was to offer to take them while we have SD (through next weekend since BM is taking them on vacation a week from today) so that at least they are under supervision of DD and SD. We look into classes and find a Safe Sitter class offered on the 29th at the hospital and decide we can enroll both girls into that so that come July, when SD and the boys are back with BM during the week and she is back at work that we would feel more comfortable with SD being left in charge of them since she would have some training for emergencies, ect.

So he calls BM yesterday and in completely non-accusatory manner to discuss. She of course becomes irate with him (I can hear her even though she's not on speaker). Saying that it was only for a couple of hours while SF went to their stables and feed the horse (30 min commute to and from their house) because the boys didn't want to go with him. DH said, they shouldn't get a choice. He discussed the reasons (namely oldest SS's behaviors) and he mentioned that she is basically having a 10 yo with issues babysit a 9 yo and she said no actually, younger SS is supposed to be keeping an eye on the older one. He told her that was just messed up and she should see that is a problem. She said the boys lied about the amount of time they were gone and he said, if that is true than wouldn't that also be a clue that they are not trustworthy of staying home alone because they could be lying about what they are doing during the day. I personally don't think the boys would lie about the time they are alone because they offered up first thing in the car like they knew they shouldn't be doing that. He offered her what we discussed and she told him no. That we already have SD and she misses her and she's not giving us the boys right now too. DH (always trying to play damage control) reassures her that he doesn't think she's a bad mom but he doesn't like that they are leaving the boys alone and he understands her funds are tight right now because of the conversation they had over the insurance money. That he is trying to help her out because we'd feel slightly more comfortable with the girls with them even though we aren't really comfortable with that either. She says sorry, but she doesn't agree to them staying because it wasn't what they agreed to but that she won't leave them alone anymore and that she is WAY more paranoid about them then we are and we should trust that since she's not worried that they would be fine. She says they are putting in an alarm system that will notify her or SF if the doors even open....DH reiterates that he doesn't want them left alone without SD there and that SD will be taking the class. She starts saying oh, how great that will be so SD can earn some extra money babysitting sometimes. ::facepalm::::

So moral of the story is, my SSs are probably at home this week without supervision off and on because she didn't want us to have them right now since we already have SD (um, normally under normal circumstances we have them all 3 at one time for a month straight but this year we had to work things differently and are taking them more on weekends because we thought they'd be under an adult supervision that way......and SD and DD will be taking babysitting classes more because SD actually needs it and DD is going so they can do it together.

I told DH that if roles were reversed and it were DD in the situation SSs are in, I would have told BD to shove it and he wasn't getting her back to sit at home unsupervised and to take me to court over it or call the cops (he wouldn't though and I doubt BM would either). DH feels there isn't much he can do since our state law doesn't have a minimum age and he felt he said his peace and he hopes she follows through. It just sucks. I just know what I would do if it were my DD at that age. DD was never left alone until she was 12 because there is no childcare for kids over 12 in my . I still don't like her home alone but she follows rules to a "T" and so I trust her to follow the rules about being home alone. The boys....not so much.

Vacation angst

Lavender P — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:22:25 GMT

So far BM has been very cooperative with our vacation plans. We are taking SS, 10, on our vacation to a Caribbean island for an entire week. We are all so super excited as we leave on Saturday. SS talked about it all weekend. Yesterday, DH asks BM again if we can pick up SS the night before. It isn't our time with him, but our flight leaves at 8 am. Since it is an international flight we need to be there by 6. We live over half an hour away and we know things will take longer in security with our 1 year old DS. Therefore we will have to leave our house no later than 5:15, not counting if we have to stop at BM's house. She tells DH she has no idea what their plans are yet, but she will let us know. iIf we have to stop by BM's we will have to leave at 4:45 am, to pick up SS by 5:15. I am nervous that now our vacation is almost here she is going to revert to her passive aggressive tactics to try to spoil it. She has trouble being awake the few times we have picked up SS at 9 am let alone 5. We had to bang on the door and call for 10 minutes, and when she answered it was clear she had just woken up and SS no where near ready. I'm scared when we how up, she and SS will still be asleep and we will waste time waiting for him to dress. I'm also scared she is going to try to keep SS up late the night before so he is tired and cranky for our flight. I'm sure I'm overreacting and worrying for no reason, but these are all things she has done before. Our last vacation with him, he called DH the day before and said he couldn't go because his mom would miss him too much and would be sad if he left her. It wasn't until we told him all the fun things we were going to do that he decided to go. He was fine the entire time we were gone and didn't ask to call her once, although we made him anyway. I just want everything to go smoothly for our vacation....

XP: AW SD's birthday weekend PIP

andrea99 — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:49:10 GMT

SD's 7th birthday, as told by Instagram. There were tons of pictures, but these were the highlights.

The pirate party at the waterpark, when she walked the plank:

Lego day at the library, where she built a beach and ocean for the mermaids and pirates.

And Sunday morning, opening her gifts. This was the reaction to Oz. Priceless.

Meal time

bunnyfungo — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:49:11 GMT

I could really use some advice about meal time power struggles.

SS1 and SS2 are both picky eaters, but SS2 more so. So I try to be considerate when I make the meal plan for the week. I've been asking them for their input and including foods they tell me they like. However, come meal time they refuse to eat anything I make, even if it was one of the foods they said was ok.

I think this is more about me than it is about the food. Before me, DH would take them to fast food places or, if they ate at home, he'd just ask each kid what they wanted and make that. I, on the other hand, refuse to make more than one meal.

Having a family dinner together is really important to me. But I'm starting to hate it. Every day is a struggle. Does anyone have any advice?

6yo and main counselor visit today.. nervous!

Pamelacake — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:58:36 GMT

6yo SD hasn't seen this particular counselor in about a month due to double booking with the office. SD's other 2 counselors keep in close contact with main counselor though.

I am nervous b/c I really don't like being in the middle of this.. I didn't go to the last session with SD because I told DH I thought he needed to be more involved. Counselor told DH She would rather me be there as well because SD is with me 24/7 as he works and I don't. I did speak with this counselor last week and she wants to start seeing 6yo SD every week instead of one to two times a month.

I am mainly nervous because some things happened over the weekend that don't normally occur... haven't occurred since I have been in the picture.

6yo SD used to play with matches and lighters a lot before I moved in. I deep cleaned SD's room and hadn't had an issue with that until this weekend. SD took a post it note that was laying on the table and set it on fire with a candle that was burning .. she was caught when trying to blow it out and putting it into the trash can at the same time.

6yo SD has a lot of issues with BM from when BM was involved. BM would call both young SD's little bast.rds. but would mainly call 6yo SD names like fat little b!tch and just horrible things. 6yo SD was not allowed to sit on BM's bed or the living room furniture. SD was 4yo at the time. This makes me mad beyond belief that anyone could treat a child, any child let alone her own child this way.

Sorry.. rambling.. I'm mainly nervous to talk to the counselor about the playing with fire incident, I'm not sure if it has something to do with SD seeing BM the last time and then convincing SD that SD was sick so she could send her home or what. BM backed out of her last visit all together. I just don't know what to think. SD has had a few meltdowns since then. I'm a little ticked at DH because he wanted to cancel today and SD needs to see her.

6yo SD has made so much progress and I feel like it's slowly going down the drain in some aspects. I don't treat her any differently than I have since I have been here.. and I think unfortunately that it's the only constancy she has ever known. =(

ETA: Only POSITIVE consistency

Joint birthday parties

Sunday924 — Sun, 16 Jun 2013 16:01:13 GMT

This is a really silly question but where do the presents go?

IVF/Tubal ligation reversal

SimpleJane — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 00:01:58 GMT

After I had my DD, child number two, I got my tubes tied during the csection. I thought I was happily forever married, we had two beautiful children, a boy and a girl, and I felt content that I was done for good.

Well, a horrible divorce later and I am ina relationship with a man I love and can see myself marrying someday. I think I would want a child with him.

I had an OB/GYN appointment this week for an unrelated issue and I mentioned this to her. She said tubal reversals are a huge surgery, very painful, and don't have a high success rate. IVF on the other hand is around the same cost and works a much higher percentage of the time in someone young and healthy like me.

So, I am not even considering doing anything at all until/if we are married, financially stable, and have the money saved to afford something like this,but I would really like to do some research on the two options. Do any of you have experiences or resources regaurding IVF or tubal reversal? When I google all I find are clinics trying to sell me their procedures at a lower cost.

Time

2chatter — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:45:11 GMT

Skids (18 and 14) have "had other plans" for most of this calendar year. We or DH have seen them at major events (like concerts, performances, graduations) and lunches/dinners (on their scheduling terms). We saw them last week, and confirmed that they would be spending Saturday with DH for Father's Day. (SS worked Sunday; neither was OK giving up both their Friday and Saturday). They both cancelled.

SS has cancelled or declined plans 7 times total to celebrate his birthday (in March). SD has cancelled when DH has been en route to pick her up. She's not home, won't say where she is. May I note that we have NO control over that and it is fully supported, suggested and sanctioned by BM.

We have a large graduation party planned for SS. I am not sure he will even attend (though he has been involved in the planning, has asked many times about this - he skipped his own birthday party with us and wanted DH to deposit money for him). DH asked me what I think of having SS spend part of December with us (SS is not going away to college, but is moving away with friends). My honest response to that was, if he cannot spend time with you outside of gift receiving holidays, I am not overly interested in the usual spending and gifting that goes on, but he is welcome to visit whenever he wants to do so - as long as it's not to pick up gifts.

So, what say you?

Braces (troll fodder LOL)

wendilea — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:12:02 GMT

I'm not sure who finds the need to XP my posts and get these trolls over here to harass me, but here goes.

BM2 had made a big deal about getting SD2 braces this year. We put extra money in our Flex Spending account, and explained to her what we needed to pay our 1/2 (contract from the ortho). She said she was going to pay her 1/2 from her tax return, and also buy SD2 a car with the tax return.

Nothing has happened. No car, no braces, no contract. She lost her job and doesn't have dental anymore (we have medical/dental on her, but it would have been double coverage) I have asked BM2 about it, and she's saying she can't get the documentation we need for Flex Spending. Every ortho can type up a letter saying Estimate is XX, Ins will pay XX, parents are responsible for XX.

Well, here it is June. I have extra money in my flex spending, and Dink emailed me stating he did too. BM2 just moved, because her older daughter just had a baby and moved back in with them, so I am certain she is not going to be paying her half of braces anytime soon. She's just dropped the subject. So, I made an appointment for B to have a consult with an ortho at the end of this month.

As I've said before, 5 of the 6 kids need braces. I can't risk wasting all this money in flex spending if she's not going to get SD2 braces this year. We can always swing our portion another way if it comes down to it. I just can't wait for the "You got YOUR DAUGHTER braces and mine goes without" phone call.

Intro-much older child (21 yo) and expecting

happywifemomofone — Sun, 16 Jun 2013 23:22:44 GMT

Hi Ladies. I was a single mom for about 15 years, never married my son's Dad. My husband and I married almost 4 years ago. He was widowed and unable to have children with his first wife d/t her illness. We both discussed early on that we wanted to add additional children to our family. We tried on our own, then eventually moved on to fertility treatments. My son left in January to do a college internship at Walt Disney World, was expected home in August. In April, we learned that we were expecting.....and had several early u/s from our RE to confirm that everything was going as expected. We had a trip planned over Mother's Day to see my son, so we told him on that visit. His response was "wow", "you mean I'm going to be a big brother?" and "what should I tell my Dad?" He's far away, so it is difficult to include him in the addition to our family at this time. This week he informed us that he wants to stay at WDW, get a f/t job there, and move in with a roommate. This makes me sad, as I know that our time of siblings living together was very short from the beginning. I want to support his decision, as he is a young adult and deserves the support of his family. However, I know that I am probably the most influential person in his life and want to use that influence to get him to come home as originally planned. Anyone have experience here with much older children? I always wanted more children, but never did I expect that it would be this much later in my life. Would really appreciate if he could find a way to accept this and be happy for us, even if it's not what he was expecting. He never new that we were TTC, we never knew if we would be successful and didn't want him to be thinking of such things when he should be worrying about finishing hs, prom, his friends and college. We are planning a trip for him to meet baby brother or sister in late January/early Feb before my maternity leave ends. Any thoughts?

Explaining child support to children?

sabrina69barnes — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 19:07:57 GMT

We are in the process of modifying our child support payment. Several factors have changed since it was figured so it will be getting decreased by a significant amount. During discovery we got copies of BM's bills. With the current amount of c/s her and her BF/FI were very behind on bills. With a reduction there is no way they will be able to keep up unless they bring in more money or manage what they have better. DH and I plan to buy things for SK's like lunches, clothes, shoes, coats, glasses, etc, for BM's house if the kids need them. We don't want them do go without what they need but we aren't going to pay more than the calculator says just because BM can't live on that alone.

I know I shouldn't have but I snooped on BM's twitter page. She is very upset because she has realized that she will be getting less in c/s. They may lose their house. She is saying all kinds of things about DH like how selfish he is and doesn't care about his kids. It's one thing to vent to her friends on twitter but I could easily see her saying similar things to SK's if things get bad for them.

We've never mentioned c/s to the kids. I'm not even sure they know it exists. I never thought it was any of their business. If BM starts bad mouthing DH, how do we explain things to SK's so they know the truth without calling BM a liar or bad mouthing her? I don't want to say anything bad about BM but it isn't ok for kids to think that DH doesn't care, is selfish, cares about his "other family" more, etc.

Update on SS's FB drama

wendilea — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:05:20 GMT

Not too long ago, I had posted about SS's drama post about "I'm so worthless" blah blah blah and how DH's comment was deleted.

We got SS's version of the story yesterday. I take this with a grain of salt, as he is known to lie, and there's always 3 versions of the truth. Anyway...

Per SS, BM did not buy him a car but instead gave him her old 1996-ish Jimmy. (Remember the drama last year where he said he had money in an account for a car and he was just trying to get us to buy him one?). Well, he ran the radiator completely dry. Apparently it kept overheating, and SD said to just keep adding coolant. Then the car just died. It was completely out of coolant, and there was so much lime in the radiator that it just cracked. This resulted in a busted head gasket, etc. Approx $700 to fix the car.

SS claims that SF went off on him about what a worthless POS he was, how he was irresponsible, etc. This is what prompted the FB post. BM made him remove DH's reply because she said she did not want DH involved in their "family matters."

Again, this is SS's version. Basically, he's not suicidal, he's just being dramatic.

Bring it b*tch

+just+j+ — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 03:55:23 GMT

XH called to tell me that his mother has continued to text him and threaten him. He has her calls blocked so it's all thru texts. I told him to save every single one and do not respond. He says he's doing just that.

The latest however is she contacted XSS and asked if he's seen the divorce papers, and does he know my maiden name. Seriously? You can't even pull your head out long enough to know what my maiden name is after 8 years? Apparently she is going to try and get to DD thru me. I am not sure how she intends to do that - if she thinks she'll get my number or address, or take me to court....who knows.

If she gets a lawyer and wants to fight for visitation...good luck. I welcome the day in court. Crazy b*tch. No judge in his/her right mind will give her visitation after we pull all the dirt out on her. Aside from the fact that she has taken in her drug head and deadbeat, jailbird 40 something sons, XH has more dirt on her than she will ever be able to justify visitation.

I am highly annoyed by this news, but I'm not worried. Just more stupid drama that will probably amount to nothing.

BM #2 No Hope for her. eye roll

Pamelacake — Sun, 16 Jun 2013 13:14:08 GMT

Let me start by saying Happy Father's Day to the Stand up Dads or Even Mom's playing both rolls... bio or not in each case!

BM called and left a VM about getting SD's for week of 4th of July for "her part of summer break" She makes me LOL. That is her holiday week this year anyways. and BM is entitled to half of the summer.. just the thought of that makes me cringe. DH will definitely NOT be volunteering that info.

BM can't handle SD's for more than a few hours and she wants a week. We will plan for this even though BM will probably back out like she does on all of her other PT (not complaining at all... We want them safe). So we will also have a backup plan that includes SD's like we always do.

DH and I were really hoping for a court date before the 4th but I don't see it happening. Maybe if the counselors get involved things will move a bit faster.

ah well. Thanks for reading and have a Great Day (=

Oldest SD & FB Vent So Ridiculous!!

Pamelacake — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 13:45:15 GMT

So let me start by saying that I do not put negative things on my fb at all. I share a lot of pictures of the kids and some quotes.

I put a status on FB 2 days ago saying exactly this: This momma needs a vacations.... I can't get 5 minutes of silence!

I just found out last night that "I was talking about my SD's and I don't want to be here for them all day everyday like I am anymore" That's what someone got from that status!

My husband doesn't have FB.. he hates it.. he thinks it's a bunch of drama and now I see why. BC that's what DH's family makes it out to be. DH's uncle came to visit last night and he always tells DH what he is hearing from other family members. I am not allowed to confront this situation bc they will know how we heard it and the uncle will not get anymore info.

I know this seems extremely petty but I am p!ssed! When I do put a status on there it's about something that the kids are doing or how I am proud of them for doing something. I just don't see how that status could be twisted so much.. Can I not joke about having a vacation.. I mean really.

I also don't see how it was just about my SD's.. I have two kids and 2 SS's plus I have 3 extra kids here because they don't want to go home.

As far as where this rumor originated from... it was one of three ppl.. and I'm pretty sure I know exactly which one it was.. my oldest SD who just moved out and in with her BF. Things aren't going as well as she planned and doesn't want to tell DH bc doesn't want him to be right about the whole moving out in the first place, as she has only been gone a little about 2 weeks. We wanted SD to stay at least until she finished HS. Since SD has moved in with BF when she turned 18 BF has quit his job because it was too many hours!!! And SD is seeing that BF has no intentions on trying to find another. Oldest SD played the mom role before I came along.. even when BM #2 was still here. So she would be the one to put the focus on youngest SD's from that status. Oldest SD was nothing but mean to youngest SD's when she thought no one could hear.

Oldest SD moved in with my MIL for a month at the beginning of the year bc it was just so horrible here. She was crying to come back within a month. But while SD was gone... She pulled the same crap... DH and I almost split up over it. SD told DH that I was flirting with someone.. I got woke up at 1am with DH (not married yet at the time) really upset with me over a picture comment on FB and it was turned into me flirting and having an affair with someone!... I hadn't even seen the comment so how was that flirting when I obviously hadn't responded. SD never admitted it was her but I guessed her first and DH told me it was.

when DH got that phone call he was told to watch me closely because I have a thing going on with so and so. It was ridiculous.

So I know it was her. SD wants to cause problems for DH and I just like the last time she moved out so she will be needed to come back to care for the younger kids. There was no need for that.. DH was hoping SD would want to come back and was so happy when she did.. Right before she turned 18 it was nothing but drama. SD asked youngest SD's if she could give them a bunch of make up.. I said no bc the colors were black, blue and purple eyeshadow, black eyeliners dark blush... things like that. They have plenty of play make up and light pink colors from the mary kate and Ashley... age appropriate.. you can barely see it on them but they love playing with it. SD18 gave it to them anyways after hearing me say no. She did things like this for about a week before moving.

I didn't delete her from FB.. I think it's petty.. I don't go to her page to spy on her.. I didn't do that when she lived here. I figured if she wanted to talk to me about something then she would. And she usually did.

My page is set to private but anyone on my page can clearly see that my time and love are for the kids.. all of them but it's mostly my 2 youngest SD's that are in the pictures and things because they are with me full time. The boys often go with DH or are out back in the game room.

Sorry for the long rant... I am just really upset about this.