Working Moms

Question for those who say "no childcare cost for school-aged kids"

christinak22 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 19:19:14 GMT

Don't you still have to pay for after-care after school...or do you only work part-time? I'm always a little confused when people on here say they'll only have to pay for daycare for a few years, then the kids will be in school and they won't have to pay anymore. It seems to clash with all the comments about having long hours and commutes.

I'm just wondering how I'm going to do it and looking for help, not judging.

Feel like I'm the bad mom re:daycare and BF

financialdiva — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:37:23 GMT

DS2 is EBF. He'll be five months old on Friday. He is 19.5 lbs. Yes, 19.5lbs. I also EBF DS1 for 14 months, so this BF thing is not new to me.

DS2 mostly gets four 4oz bottles at daycare, fed on demand, mostly every 2-2.5 hours. I pump 15-17oz a day. I serve what I pump. I send in a fifth bottle just in case of spills, heating and then he falls asleep, extra hungry that day, etc.

They asked me to start sending in larger bottles. They think he needs more milk. Problem is, I don't have more milk to send. And I know he doesn't need more milk, I know he just wants to suck on something. I told them to offer a paci, they keep telling me, no he needs more milk. Plus, they keep bugging me to start baby food. I keep telling them soon, but not yet.

I know what I'm doing. I am confident that not giving him solids yet is the right choice (we are actually planning on starting this weekend in the evenings only, until we go through all the veggies and fruits). He nurses four times with me. That's eight feedings. He's 19.5lbs! He has enough diapers. Clearly he is getting enough. How do I tell them this without coming across as rude? I am grateful they care enough about my child to give me suggestions. But everytime I say no or just shake my head okay and not do it, I feel like they look at me like I'm starving my child. Suggestions? I feel like such a newb!

How Many Hours a Day in Day Care? + Flexibility

2chatter — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 18:53:40 GMT

Initially I was obsessed with DS only being in DC 8 hours a day (viable only because DC is in our neighborhood and I WFH). After nursing diminished to 2X a day I have been slowly creeping toward him being consistenly in DC 9 hours a day at least 3 days a week. I have 7:30 AM calls and 4:30 PM calls. I declined these previously, with the permission of my boss, but now need to get back into the swing of things. I feel somewhat guilty, as sometimes on these days I also throw in some laundry, clean up one of the kids' rooms, etc. I end up working 9-10 hours a day total between mornings before the kids are up and evenings after they are down. I just cannot shake the feeling that I should still be rushing to get him. Some days I COULD finish at 3 and work more at night - but I generally do not. Par of that is related to DS' schedule - picking up early interrupts nap or snack, both of which displease DS.

So really, this is two questions....if you have flexibility, do you use it? How do you set up the balance between work (which gladly fills every hour I do not make available)....and life? I feel like I work constantly, and when I am not working am rushing through kid craziness like dinner, bath, outside play, etc.

And how long is your child in DC each day?

Anyone a Pharmacist?

JellyBellyStar — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 16:24:24 GMT

Could you tell me the pros/cons of this field? Sorry to be so vague...i'm on mobile and will provide more details shortly.

F/U to guardian issue post from the other day

*sparky* — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 14:34:31 GMT

Yes, I DD'd as I suggested I would - way too much personal information. Just wanted to say thanks for all of the advice and support. I have been talking regularly to DH and IL's about this. This is a very difficult situation so I really appreciate the advice I received here as I am sworn to secrecy IRL. I will be talking to our lawyer about modifying our wills once we agree on a suitable replacement. We also need to agree on how to reword our estate planning, as she stands to inherit a decent amount from us if we pass and that may need to be changed as well.

I also urged DH that if she does not get help soon that we need to go and make sure she does it - as in, stage an intervention and check her in somewhere if needed. I am not sure anyone else in his family has the guts to do it.

Also, as I think through the last couple of years, so many things make sense now that were puzzling before. I wish I was not so dense about these things.

Thanks again. I sincerely appreciate it.

Daycare agenda

blushingbride_08 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 19:05:39 GMT

For those with 1 year olds in daycare, what do they do during the day? My LO is not in daycare so I'm curious. What are they learning? Numbers, colors?

Clicky Poll: Do you buy or pack your lunch?

mbenit4 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:57:03 GMT

.[Please visit the site to access the poll]

What would you pay a nanny?

steenbean18 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 05:32:21 GMT

We currently pay $143/week for 1 infant in daycare 2 days per week. There is a 10% discount at our center for 2 kids, so $272/week once baby#2 gets here.

With that as a starting reference point to prices in our area, what would you pay a nanny??

2 days per week (12 hr days)

15 month old and 2 month old

Only very light cleaning (just cleaning up after the babies, no other housework)

TIA!

End of year daycare gifts

nursebride2be — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 16:28:26 GMT

Been mostly a lurker on the board but have a question about gifts for daycare providers.

this is the last full week my son will be going to daycare for the summer. The is a chance if my husband gets a new job he won't be coming back to this daycare next school year, after going for almost 3 years. Want to get the teachers end of hear gifts. He has two primary teachers who he adores ( has been with them in some aspect all three years) and then two teachers that are only there part time. Any suggestions one what to get them? Was thinking slightly nicer/ bigger for primary teachers.

Non-Clicky Poll: Is your job/career in the same field as your degree?

mben1119 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 15:04:41 GMT

Mine is not. I have a BA in English, and I work in banking, with computers.

I'm just curious as to how common this is.

14 Months-Daycare Discipline Question & Concern

BabyNewbury2012 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 11:09:09 GMT

In my daughters classroom there are ages 13-18 months, 13 kids in total with 3 teachers. I know this probably can be overwhelming at times for them all and obviously all kids act up. But Im wondering how your daycare handles discipline at this age?

I got there yesterday, the music was pretty loud so no one could hear me when I walked in the room. My daughter was on the floor in front of a bookshelf playing. A few other kids were playing on the other side of the shelf. Anyway as I walked in I seen a kid start to cry, and the teacher grabbed a little girl telling her no and the little girl turned her head and the teacher grabbed her by the arm (between elbow and shoulder) and lifted her up off the floor. This bothered me, it looked a little harsh to me, I was kind of in shock and didn't say anything. But I couldn't let it go so I spoke to the director about it on the way out and she was upset and said she would talk tot the teacher about it without telling her I said anything she would say she say it on the camera. Maybe I didn't see the whole picture but I know if she grabbed my child like that I would be pissed! I want my child to be disciplined but not like that! The director did say they do not use physical discipline, they say no and use redirection. Maybe the teacher was trying to get the child away from the other child but she could of did that another way.

Can I get some thoughts on this. I have hardly slept a wink wondering what happened after I left, I am pretty sure I did the right thing. And I really hope the director didn't say we said anything as I don't want my daughter to be treated differently.

Coping with a difficult boss: any tips u wanna share?

mbenit4 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:53:22 GMT

I find what works for me is - of course I try to make sure I stay one step ahead so to speak to give her no cause to have to tell me much. I also request any leave, etc via email. That way I have a paper trail.

Anyone else want to share anything that they feel can help someone with a difficult boss?

Finally! My husband was offered a tenure track job

itsmevkb — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 14:02:38 GMT

Since getting his PhD last May, my husband has been trying to find a tenure track job, which hasn't been easy. Well, yesterday he was offered one so that's great news. The bad news? It's in Kentucky and we live in Wisconsin.

Really no point to this post except that I wish it were easier for him to find a job close to home. My job doesn't really move around and I make a decent income so we can't afford to lose that. I think he thought if they offered him enough money maybe we could move (they low-balled the offer) and maybe he just wanted that good feeling of being offered something.

But I'm curious, would you give up a job you love to follow your husband?

Nanny WWYD?

bethann3181 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 14:10:54 GMT

We have a nanny that we are very happy with for our boys. She takes them out a lot, and especially for the summer months, we are having them do a lot of outdoor activities and local trips.

We recently found a huge playground/park area, that has a huge wooden castle for the kids to run through and up (it's about 3 stories high). DH and I took the boys there over a weekend, and they both loves it. DS1 LOVES running through the castle, and down this 3 story high enclosed twisty slide, and DS2 loves playing in the sandbox.

Nanny has been asking to take them to this park, as DS1 asks to go so often, and she's trying to come up with new ideas for fun trips for them to take during the day. I told her I wasn't comfortable with her going alone with them - the play areas are disconnected, and it a tight space for even me alone to follow DS1 up in the castle, let alone, holding a 14 month old on my arm. It's not doable. And, I'm also not ok with DS1 climbing up alone - the castle is huge and a little complicated to maneuver through.

She suggested bringing her best friend with her to help. She mentioned her friend many times before, but I've never met her. I trust our nanny's judgement in people, but I'm also pretty hesitant to agree to this. DH made the point that it would be nice for them to go to this park during the summer, as it's very shaded, and most (if not all) of the other parks around us have no shade.

My concerns are - I don't want this to become social time for our nanny, where she's not focusing on my kids (which I feel like I know she wouldn't do, but still), and that if there was an emergency, I have no idea if her friend is capable of handling the situation. On the other hand, the police station is literally across the street from the park, and the friend would really just be sitting in the sandbox with DS2, while nanny was with DS1.

Would you allow this, or say no?

When is the right time to tell your work that you're expecting?

karlyandjoe — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:05:16 GMT

I am 10 weeks pregnant, and we also have two 5 year olds at home (we each have one from previous relationships). I just started my job that I'm at now in the beginning of March (about 3 1/2months ago). We also just bought a new house and are closing and moving this weekend! So, a lot has been happening since I have started this new position. Not to mention, the part-time girl that comes in the evenings just quit with no notice so I had to pick up the extra hours and I am now the only employee with the Dr. I work for.

With all this new change and busy schedule with kids and packing when possible, I have been so nervous to tell my boss about our exciting news! I definitely can't afford to not work and don't want him to think I can't juggle everything, because I want to. Should I wait until things calm down at home and in the office before telling him or is it best to tell him immediately?

When do you exercise?

Divallyn — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:57:10 GMT

I went back to work when my son was ten months old and since then I have been struggling finding enough time to exercise. I can't exercise after 8pm as it prevents me from falling asleep at an appropriate time. When I get home after picking up kiddo its straight into play and dinner making then bed time routine and he is down at 7:45ish. I am thinking morning is my only option but waking earlier than 6:00 is so not appealing as I am still recovering from postnatal insomnia. Just wondering how everyone else fits it in?

Open Letter Wednesday

financialdiva — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 11:56:47 GMT

And go

daycare - gifts?

Daisy622 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:10:38 GMT

Hi - I am a first time mom....LO is just shy of 7months and has been in daycare since she was 11 weeks. I really like the daycare, I am comfortable with the staff, and in the short time she has been there I have had a positive experience. One of her teachers birthdays is next week - do I need to get a little something for her? What is the usual protocol? I was thinking a $10 gift card to dunkin donuts or starbucks....

Need to vent (Daycare)

jennyelf — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:30:26 GMT

When I went to pick up LO from daycare yesterday, the director asked me to come in to her office. Short story, due to a variety of things that were brought to the director's attention, we may not be eligible to use the daycare! LO has been in this daycare for 9 months now, and I was very careful to ask about eligibility when we first signed up. Now the director says she was mistaken about the rules for eligibility, and she needs to get further detail, but the end result may be that we aren't actually eligible to use this daycare and may be given a 30 day notice in the next few weeks.

I am super stressed. This daycare is affordable and only a mile from my work. Most of the daycare centers around here are at least $600/month more and have multiple month long waiting lists and since LO is still under 15 months and considered an infant, it's going to be really hard to find a place that has openings.

Really hoping that it turns out I'm still eligible, but I'm frantically trying to prove that while at the same time trying to find an alternative place in case I'm not.

ETA: this affects at least 20 other families at the center as well. So we're all not having a good day right now.

Manhattan Moms?

jrmurrai — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:04:03 GMT

I'm relocating to Manhattan, any moms in the 10029 area?

Looking for daycare and nanny price ranges. Hourly? 30hrs a week?

Thanks!

Vacation gear rentals

Netty_3 — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:46:38 GMT

Anyone done this? Where do you find a place that does this? We're planning on going to PHX next month, and it would be great if we could rent a car seat. TIA!

Question for Teacher WMs

Karleesha — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:17:59 GMT

Hi all! I mainly lurk on this board but I am wondering what your thoughts are on my situation. Also, I rarely ask questions because they have probably already been asked if I scroll a bit :

I am finishing up a 2nd degree in Elem Ed and DD will be 1 in September. I graduate in May and so my first year of teaching will be fall 2014. I would REALLY like to start trying for 2 next Sept when DD is 2 and so I can potentially have a baby late May/early June and not take time off work.

I know that my first year will be hard but do you think I should wait until it's over to start TTC? I don't really want my kids to be closer to 4 years apart, but I want to do a great job!

Backstory: I had terrible morning sickness with DD, but other than that a great pregnancy.

Thanks!

Bruises f/up

NicoleWI — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:08:47 GMT

I fired her. She claims the bruises were there yesterday am and she "meant to mention them". This could be true. I didn't take Baby's sleeper off before work yesterday so I didn't see her legs myself before work, but nothing was there the night before. My parents could have accidentally caused thigh bruises when taking her out of the high chair this weekend that didn't show up until yesterday morning?? But, that's iffy, and we still can't explain the weird and significant marks on Baby's wrist. Bottom line is that there were already too many questions and some other questionable behaviour in only three days with us, and even though I don't think she would intentionally harm the baby, I could no longer feel okay leaving her alone with the kids. Fair or not.

advice

moonracer988 — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 07:01:21 GMT

I currently work overnights full time. I asked my boss if i could reduce my work hours after my maternity leave for the first few weeks to get back into the groove of everything and was denied. I do have the option of being able to stay home while my hubby works for the first 6 months or so and then look for a new job. Has any one worked overnights while having a newborn? how did it work for you?i'm just on the fence on if i should stay at my job and go on my leave or just quit and stay at home with the baby.

is daycare liable?

abpdjs — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:20:03 GMT

My 5 year old fell on the schools playground yesterday running and broke his elbow. He is in prek 2
Not a public school but a preschool that is licensed etc....does anyone have experience with this type of situation? Would his school be liable for the medical expenses? I don't want this to get weird or sticky because he has 3 more months there before K and my other little boy goes there too. Is it worth inquiring about?