I didn't have that issue, but I'd probably tell her that she got her chance to name you what she wanted and now it's your chance to name your child. I'd also probably tell her that if she keeps up the childish behavior (aka calling her something other than her name) after your baby is born, she will be limited in her visits to the child.

FWIW, I think the name is adorable! Different and maybe a little quirky, but it's not like you're naming her Pilot Inspektor or something like that.

I'm sorry you're dealing with that :(

Honestly, I would just stop talking about it. You can't make her like it and it sounds like she doesn't really care about hurting your feelings. Next time it comes up, tell her that you've already made your choice and there is nothing left to discuss. If she keeps going, end the conversation - even if it means you have to leave the room or hang up on her. Hopefully after enough of that she'll get the message and leave you alone. 

FWIW, I think Penelope is adorable. Once she's here she'll grow into it, and no one will be able to imagine her as anything else :)

ETA: As far as her coming up with something else - that's ridiculous. Is your mom always ridiculous? I mean really - it's your kid! Nip that one in the bud ASAP. 

Rach03k:

I'm sorry you're dealing with that :(

Honestly, I would just stop talking about it. You can't make her like it and it sounds like she doesn't really care about hurting your feelings. Next time it comes up, tell her that you've already made your choice and there is nothing left to discuss. If she keeps going, end the conversation - even if it means you have to leave the room or hang up on her. Hopefully after enough of that she'll get the message and leave you alone. 

FWIW, I think Penelope is adorable. Once she's here she'll grow into it, and no one will be able to imagine her as anything else :)

ETA: As far as her coming up with something else - that's ridiculous. Is your mom always ridiculous? I mean really - it's your kid! Nip that one in the bud ASAP. 

this 1000%

Tell her you will come up with a new name for DD to call her: Grandb*tch.  Start repeating this to yourself over and over and keep doing it until your kid goes to college: this is my child, not hers, this is my child, not hers.  If she's being this insensitive about the name, imagine where she could go with decisions on breastfeeding/formula feeding, discipline, school, medical issues.  Nip it in the bud now.

MrsRosie:

Tell her you will come up with a new name for DD to call her: Grandb*tch.  Start repeating this to yourself over and over and keep doing it until your kid goes to college: this is my child, not hers, this is my child, not hers.  If she's being this insensitive about the name, imagine where she could go with decisions on breastfeeding/formula feeding, discipline, school, medical issues.  Nip it in the bud now.

I love this response!

I did have a similar situation. However, my mom didn't say she would call L something else.  She did give me major sh!t about our choice of middle name.  It made me question our choice.  I am very happy with the choice we went with (It is nice to have L's middle name be the same as DH's).  DS and I did really like our first choice (Reinhardt), and we might use it in the future.

I also really like your choice.  It is very pretty and I agree with PP's that you should nip it now.

So I have been down this road. My Mom doesn't like DS's first name much. So she decided to call him by a nickname off his middle name.

His name is Kevin Patrick. She calls him Paddy. I just let her do it even though it bugs me a bit. At first my inlaws and husband were the ones who had a major issue with it. But they thought she was calling him Patty as in a girls name.

I figured she would either eventually concede or I would just get used to it. Most of the time it is a little of both. Sometimes she calls him Kevin but most of the time she calls him Paddy. 

It doesn't seem to bother him much, although he rarely will acknowledge her if she calls him Paddy. :-)  At Christmas she did want to get him a personalized stocking. I told her that if it was for our house it had to have his first name, the one at her house could have the nickname.

It did also help us though that we didn't pick a name until after he was born. 

I hope this helps you some. I do agree that it is crazy for your mom to just pick a name. At least ours is a version of his name. As to her saying that she is sad with the name you chose. My response would be- "You raised me, raised me well, and this is my child. My husband and I have the right to name our child what we want.  We respectively ask that you honor our wishes. She is our child, not yours.

Good luck!

No new advice, but I agree with the other girls.  Just drop it, and when the baby is born say that's her name too late.  And then say her name is Evil Grandma.

DH and I really like the name Miriam for a girl.  MIL HATES it.  Our first pick is Claire, but I'm tempted to name a daughter Miriam out of spite.

my mom was a beast about names. she went as far as to send out a list of names that she thought were acceptable to our family and said she thought the family should have be able to help choose the name.  we deleted the email, but she bugged us CONSTANTLY.  we toughed it out and didn't tell her even as i checked into the hospital.  i don't know what her face looked like when she heard the name, but i can imagine.  i just was lucky enough not to have to see it!

i'm sorry she's giving you such a hard time, but this is one of MANY tug of wars you will have with your mom, so like pp said, take care of this early! put your foot down however you know how.  we had to do this with the name and the next thing was xmas and how she absolutely HAD to have it at her house....blah, blah, blah.....you have to think of you and your husbands wishes first now (that doesn't mean be a jerk), but you have to learn to stand your ground).  it's hard because she's still treating you like a child.

sorry, i sounded kinda like a butt myself with that last line :(

but your mom would never treat her friend the way she is treating you, right?

You have some really great advice here.  My MIL is not thrilled with the middle name we chose for Baby Boy #2, but after she expressed her dislike of the name, DH told her "well, too late, that's the name we're going with".  We love his name and don't really care what she thinks about it. 

:-)

BLONDIE6FT:

 she went as far as to send out a list of names that she thought were acceptable to our family and said she thought the family should have be able to help choose the name. 

LOL~  that's some crazy sh!t.  Sounds like something my mom would do.  :)

my mom is....well....unique....to say the least.  the stories i could tell!!

by the way--i love penelope!!! but even if i didn't--it's your husband and your decision!! (but i still love it!!)

What? I don't get why she is so upset. It's not like you're naming your son Sky (that's my DH's middle name :). If we had a daughter it would have been her middle name. I think it's beautiful (for a girl). I would have to tell my mom that it is my kid and my choice. I'm not sure what I would have done if she actually tried to call my kid by another name, but it would really piss me off. So sorry you are going through this.

BLONDIE6FT:

we toughed it out and didn't tell her even as i checked into the hospital. 

We had to do this with my mom.  It wasn't about naming issues, but other equally childish and maddening behavior.  I don't recommend taking this route, because it is very harsh, but dig in on this.  Don't let her bully you.  This is your baby and you have every right to name her whatever you like.

Oh and I adore the name Penelope.  from me!

Thanks Ladies!  We're definitely standing our ground as far as not changing the name.  Yes, my mom is always pretty ridiculous. Her idea of calling the baby something different would equal some term of endearment.  I have already told her that I plan on teaching the baby sign, and when I do, she will have a sign that mom believes is "grandma", but it will probably really be "hateful". This is her first grandchild, and I can only imagine what she'd be like if my little brother wasn't getting married this year.  I really think once the baby is born and named she'll back off...however, it seems she's going to campaign all her favorite names as long as she thinks there is time to change my mind.  As far as other parenting advice, she *says* she'll stay out of our business cause her MIL was pretty horrible, but I guess Grandma at least liked our names:)

MrsRosie:

Tell her you will come up with a new name for DD to call her: Grandb*tch.  Start repeating this to yourself over and over and keep doing it until your kid goes to college: this is my child, not hers, this is my child, not hers.  If she's being this insensitive about the name, imagine where she could go with decisions on breastfeeding/formula feeding, discipline, school, medical issues.  Nip it in the bud now.

And this is why I <3 MrsRosie.  I agree completely.  And I think Penelope is a nice name. 

hollyshea1107:

I have already told her that I plan on teaching the baby sign, and when I do, she will have a sign that mom believes is "grandma", but it will probably really be "hateful".

No more advice other than what is here, but I just have to say that this is hilarious. 

lucky_charm:

My response would be- "You raised me, raised me well, and this is my child. My husband and I have the right to name our child what we want.  We respectively ask that you honor our wishes. She is our child, not yours.

Yep, this.

I would also add that not calling my child by her chosen name is disrespectful both to her and to DH and I, and I will not allow anyone to disrespect my child. If she insists, then I would tell her their time together will have to be limited to major holidays until she can learn to respect our family.

 

Wow. I haven't read the other responses, but my advice is to just not talk to her about it. If she brings it up, just say that the baby is yours, and not hers, so you can name her whatever you want.

When we told my MIL we were naming our daughter Ruby, she said, "What? Are you joking?" REALLY rudely. DH just told her from then on (when she would bring it up) that it was none of her business.

BTW, I love the name. 

We have an unusual name and FIL calls him by his name, but I know he doesn't like it.  :)

This is YOUR baby, just tell your mom what pp said....you named me and I want to name my child.

This is why we didn't tell people the baby's name before he was born - we just didn't want to hear the groans.  :)

I think her name is beautiful!

Penelope is a beautiful name!  Ditto many pp's-  I hope your mother grows up and comes around.

i think that is an adorable name, tell mom that if she doesnt agree with you, she doesnt have to be vocal about it, and she does have to call your child by her name. if she persists, i would definitely limit visits with grandbaby, at least until she gets the hint.