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02-25-2010 at 12:56 PM
orion09
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What's the perfect age to have a baby?

i've always wanted to have my first baby  after graduating from college, and being married for a few years which would have been around 25yrs old.

I met DH at 21 and had DD at 23. oh and i'm still working on that degree. LOL!

What age did you see yourself becoming a mom? Does it differ from reality?


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02-25-2010 at 12:59 PM
mistressco...
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idk what the perfect age is (i think it's different for everyone) but i thought i'd be 29-31ish.  different from reality because here i am at 25 with a kid!  but now that i have her i'm glad we had her now and didn't wait.  

 
02-25-2010 at 12:59 PM
kerivp
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Ideally, it would have been at 28 or 29.  In reality, it was 31.

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02-25-2010 at 1:00 PM
davis0905
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I didn't want to have my 1st baby until I was 30. I ended up having DD at age 31.  For me, it was the right time.  At 25 I hadn't met my husband yet and I don't think I was mature enough.  I think the "perfect age" varies from woman to woman.  I have a friend who had her 1st kid at 21 and has since had 3 more.  She was a young mom but a great mom.  But when she was busy having babies, I was still on the dating scene and trying to figure myself out. 

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02-25-2010 at 1:01 PM
nemtown
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When I was 16 or so, I thought 23 would be perfect--out of college and hopefully married by then.

I met DH when I was 20 and started dating when I was 21. We got married just before my 25th db-day and had DS when I was 26. I would have liked to be a year or two younger but only because I want 4 and I'd like to be a little younger still when the 4th comes--so I have more energy to chase 4 kids around.

 
02-25-2010 at 1:01 PM
C.Mo
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I always wanted to start a family when I was in my mid-late 20s. I was a few weeks from turning 25 when I had DD. Ideally, DH and I had wanted to have been "just us" for a year or two instead of having a wedding night baby, but oh well. Now we wouldn't change it for the world.

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02-25-2010 at 1:02 PM
Snowbride0...
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It is different for everyone for sure.  At 25 I had graduated from college, been married for 4 years and DH and I both had great jobs and a good sized house.  So 25 was the perfect age for me.  I think if you're young, it is a good idea to get your life in order and goals accomplished before you add a baby to the mix.  As we all know, everything takes more time to get done once you have a baby to take care of.

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02-25-2010 at 1:02 PM
erino&chri...
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I used to want kids right after college mainly so I could be a SAHM.  My career took off after college and kids just weren't in the cards for us-we both worked so much.  So, I had LO when I'd just turned 30.  I wish I were a couple years younger, but oh well!  I think 30 is a good age.  DH has done all his partying and we are both settled and 100% family now.

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02-25-2010 at 1:02 PM
*H&J*
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I am 33, which is what some consider ::gasp:: old!  I think it was great that we waited.  We got to be really selfish after college and do a lot of traveling, spoil ourselves and then become financially stable to be able to have DD without too much worrying about money.  In the scheme of things, maybe I would have had her a couple years earlier just so I don't feel "rushed" for the next if we decide, but I can't imagine having to worry about school, work, finances and a newborn.  It is a lot just for us managing work and baby without the other variables.



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02-25-2010 at 1:02 PM
wellfleet0...
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I was 31 and 33 when I had my kids.  It was fine, but I wish I'd been a couple of years younger when we started because I want 3 (of course DH only wants 2, so we're done, so I guess it doesn't matter...).  But I met DH when I was 24, he took 5 freaking years to pop the question, and then we had to get married etc, so this is about as fast as we could do it given DH's lengthy decision making process that I was good enough :)
 
02-25-2010 at 1:04 PM
chickiesha
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I wanted to start having children around mid to late 20s but I didn't get married until 29 and had DD at 31. I love the fact that I'm much more mature / level headed than I was years ago.


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02-25-2010 at 1:04 PM
katypresso...
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I had DS at the "perfect" age for me.  Graduated college at 23, engaged at 24, married at 25, DS at 26. 

I wanted to have my first LO by 27...so I stayed on track!  We would like to have LO #2 before we turn 30.  We'll see how that goes!


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02-25-2010 at 1:04 PM
54hj96er34...
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I always said that 27 was a great age because I figured I'd be done with school and married for a few years as well. I had DD at 26 but did not finish college. I plan to later but that will take time.
 
02-25-2010 at 1:04 PM
CalinsBrid...
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I've heard that biologically, the perfect age is 27.

I also thought we'd have our first LO between 28 and 30, after graduating from school, travelling, and buying a house.

We're both still working on our degrees, no house to speak of, and we've been about 10% of the places we want to travel. Oops :)


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02-25-2010 at 1:04 PM
NDwife07
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I don't think there's a perfect age - everyone's different!

I thought I'd have at least one by age 25, mostly because was young-ish for my grade in school and graduated at 21...I figured it wouldn't take more than 4 years to get married and have a baby. No dice! I was 27 when DD was born.  Not too far off, but still!


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02-25-2010 at 1:06 PM
a_chance20...
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Im 21 with an 8 month old and pregnant with #2.

DH and I have been together since I was 15. I in a way wish I would have waited and done stuff together like travel, oh hmm finish college. 

What I like about this age though and having kids is that when they are 10 I will only be 31 and will be able to enjoy the things I have missed out on while raising babies. 

another thing about having babies so young is not all your friends are doing it. (hell, none of mine are) and so my children will be so much older then theirs, if were still friends. but the plus side of that is I wont be in baby fever.. i can visit and play with their babies and give them back.


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02-25-2010 at 1:06 PM
tdalbey21
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I had DD when I was 25. (DH is 28) I always thought it would be around that time. It was the perfect time for us. We were married 3 years before LO came along. We did all our partying during that time. We wanted to be just "us" for a couple years and be financially ready to have a baby.
 
02-25-2010 at 1:07 PM
HappyTXChi...
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I always said that I wanted to have my undergraduate and grad degree before getting married.  My parents were divorced and I wanted to always know that no matter what I had a degree and could take care of myself.  We got married about 6 mos after I got my Masters degree.

As far as kids, I always said that DH and I would be married for 5 years before kids (so 30 yrs old) but in reality we waited 3 years.  I had kids at 28 and 30.  In reality 3 years was enough party/fun time and we were ready. 

 





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02-25-2010 at 1:07 PM
orion09
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mistresscox:
idk what the perfect age is (i think it's different for everyone) but i thought i'd be 29-31ish.  different from reality because here i am at 25 with a kid!  but now that i have her i'm glad we had her now and didn't wait.  

yea me too, my cousin and i were just discussing this and we have totally different views.


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02-25-2010 at 1:09 PM
Soon2BMrsN
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For me, it was 27... when I had DS.  I'd like to be done having kids before I'm 30, but I doubt that will happen!


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02-25-2010 at 1:09 PM
babybmomma
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I think the perfect age will differ for each individual. When I was younger I always planned that I will get married after college and have kids around 25-26 b/c I didn't want to be "old". I soon realized that what you plan and what really happens can totally be different.  I was still trying to figure out things in life and things didn't work out between the old bf...which was a blessing.  I didn't meet DH until I was 27 and had DS at 31. And I realize there is not really an age too "old" to have kids..unless you're 60 or something..lol Looking back, I'm so happy things work out the way it did because I'm much more financially stable and mature. 

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02-25-2010 at 1:10 PM
Tomkat8403
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25-30 for me. I'm sure it's different for everybody. It depends on what you want out of life I guess. :)
 
02-25-2010 at 1:10 PM
staycee
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when I was young and naive, I thought I would die if I didn't have a baby by 23.

in reality, I had my first at 38



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02-25-2010 at 1:11 PM
robbie3982
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I always thought I'd get married right out of college and we'd have babies right away, so 23ish?  I had no desire to have a career.  I just wanted to be a SAHM.

I didn't end up meeting DH until the summer after I graduated at 22.  We dated a year before getting engaged and then it was another year before we got married (24 at that point).  We had DS when I was 26.

I'm really glad it worked out the way it did.  I resigned from my corporate job and in less than a week I'll be a SAHM like I always wanted.  Going out into corporate America for 4 years means that I won't have to wonder if I missed out on something.


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02-25-2010 at 1:13 PM
*blondie*
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I saw myself having my first child around 26yo like both my parents were. I think it is the perfect age. You are too young and then will be empty nesters at a perfect time in your life.

I had dd when I was 1m shy of 25 and dh was 26. Perfect Smile

 
02-25-2010 at 1:13 PM
CalinsBrid...
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robbie3982:

I always thought I'd get married right out of college and we'd have babies right away, so 23ish?  I had no desire to have a career.  I just wanted to be a SAHM.

I didn't end up meeting DH until the summer after I graduated at 22.  We dated a year before getting engaged and then it was another year before we got married (24 at that point).  We had DS when I was 26.

I'm really glad it worked out the way it did.  I resigned from my corporate job and in less than a week I'll be a SAHM like I always wanted.  Going out into corporate America for 4 years means that I won't have to wonder if I missed out on something.

Yes


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02-25-2010 at 1:19 PM
DanielsWif...
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I had DD at 27, which was perfect for us, I think. We had been together for 6 years and married for over 3.

I just wish I knew what the perfect age for DD would be for her to get a brother/sister! 


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02-25-2010 at 1:30 PM
jacksjerse...
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There is no perfect age. 

There are irresponsible, immature parents at all ages and there are responsible, mature parents at all ages (within reason of course).

I thought I would become a parent to #1 around 25 but that ended up being a few years later.  

 







 
02-25-2010 at 1:40 PM
LaurenNBil...
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*H&J*:
I am 33, which is what some consider ::gasp:: old!  I think it was great that we waited.  We got to be really selfish after college and do a lot of traveling, spoil ourselves and then become financially stable to be able to have DD without too much worrying about money.  In the scheme of things, maybe I would have had her a couple years earlier just so I don't feel "rushed" for the next if we decide, but I can't imagine having to worry about school, work, finances and a newborn.  It is a lot just for us managing work and baby without the other variables.

This is exactly what I would write.  


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02-25-2010 at 1:48 PM
H4'sFan
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nemtown:

When I was 16 or so, I thought 23 would be perfect--out of college and hopefully married by then.

I met DH when I was 20 and started dating when I was 21. We got married just before my 25th db-day and had DS when I was 26. I would have liked to be a year or two younger but only because I want 4 and I'd like to be a little younger still when the 4th comes--so I have more energy to chase 4 kids around.

I know I am being hormonal and nit-picky, but this statement irritates my 36 year old azz. I have plenty of energy for a mother of "advanced maternal age"!!!!

I need thicker e-skin.


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