No we didn't do it. We don't belong to a church and organized religion is not important to us at this time in our life. DH's parents also do not go to church. My mom and step-dad are very religious (step-dad is a pastor) but they haven't pressured us because they know we don't follow their religion. So, it hasn't really been a big deal that we didn't do it.

We did, but we're fairly religious.  Some things in life are a little easier down the road if you are baptized as an infant in terms of getting married in a church as an adult as standing as a godparent for a friend's child.  I firmly believe you should follow your heart on this one, if it's not in baptism, at least in the Catholic church there are plenty of opportunities to "catch up" as you grow older.  I assume that's also true in other denominations.     

DD did get baptized and I felt totally hypocritical about it because neither of us are religious but my mom was insistent and the only reason it happened is because her boyfriend is a minister. We decided there was no harm in getting it done and if DD chooses to be religious later in life- she can't say we did not get her baptized :-) We did a family only service and it was nice.

our LO isn't born yet, but we aren't planning to baptize. Both DH and I were baptized (and I was confirmed) in our churches but neither of us are religious. We go to my home church with my parents on Christmas the years that we stay in town. It just doesn't feel like something we need to do. I was baptized as a tween when I was confirmed in the Methodist church, so it's certainly something we can do later in life if our opinion changes.

My sister and BIL on the other hand, did baptize my nephew. It seemed a bit odd to be honest since they are no more religious than we are, but I have a feeling it was more a vehicle for them to involve BIL's sister who he is not very close to and named her the godmother.

We haven't either. It's a conversation that comes up about once in a while around our house. DH is a lapsed Catholic, I was raised Methodist. While I think we are both very spiritual we aren't doing the organized religion thing right now. I would like to do it in some ways, but I do feel like it is something we can always do down the line, and a decision he can make for himself as well.  I don't want to join a church just to have it done, so I would love to know if someone did it in a non-church type setting.

we didn't. i'm episcopalian and have major issues with my church right now. DH was raised catholic by a very religious (out of guilt) catholic father and a somewhat religious (out of sheer interest) baptist mother. he attended catholic schools his entire life, but was never baptized.

i'm not a fan of organized religion and DH wasn't baptized, so baptizing was never something we really considered..

nope, no baptism for our son. it's just something that is not important to us.

and to go off on a total tangent....even when I was religious, I've never understood the point of the actual baptism. I know that it's a symbolic profession of faith, but it just seems silly (especially since I was raised baptist and you would literally get dunked, in this weird bathtub thing up behind the choir loft in our sanctuary...weird). so baptizing babies seems even sillier. if you believe in god or some higher power, it's not like god isn't going to bless or watch over a baby that didn't get baptized. I have no issue with people who do this (both of my sister had their children baptized), I just don't understand it.

From reading through the responses so far, there's no easy answers, are there?

We baptized DS as a Catholic. I was raised Catholic (albeit way liberal Catholic). DH was not raised in a faith. Our plan is to have DS go through religious education, talk openly about our differences in beliefs, and have DS choose for himself whether or not he'll be confirmed in the church. Yes, I know this will most likely backfire. But that fits our parenting philosophy - I can teach DS about what I believe, and so can DH, and DS will choose for himself. Also, I won't have to drag a teenager to church - either he'll want to be there or he won't.

Here's one for you, we baptized DD #1 but not #2. 

We thought we'd get more into the church community we had joined when we moved here (DH was raised Lutheran, me Catholic), and so we had #1 baptized at a Lutheran church we joined for a while.  I lost all faith in that particular church, we stopped going, and now we don't belong to one.  So I have one baptized kid and one heathen.  I suspect we will not baptize #3. 

bh2720:

nope, no baptism for our son. it's just something that is not important to us.

and to go off on a total tangent....even when I was religious, I've never understood the point of the actual baptism. I know that it's a symbolic profession of faith, but it just seems silly (especially since I was raised baptist and you would literally get dunked, in this weird bathtub thing up behind the choir loft in our sanctuary...weird). so baptizing babies seems even sillier. if you believe in god or some higher power, it's not like god isn't going to bless or watch over a baby that didn't get baptized. I have no issue with people who do this (both of my sister had their children baptized), I just don't understand it.

I *think* the reason is because some people believe in the heaven/hell concept, and also believe that if a baby isn't baptized he or she will not go to heaven if they die; they'll go to limbo. I personally do not believe that, so the baptism for me would be more symbolic than anything.

DCtoLowcountry:

From reading through the responses so far, there's no easy answers, are there?

We baptized DS as a Catholic. I was raised Catholic (albeit way liberal Catholic). DH was not raised in a faith. Our plan is to have DS go through religious education, talk openly about our differences in beliefs, and have DS choose for himself whether or not he'll be confirmed in the church. Yes, I know this will most likely backfire. But that fits our parenting philosophy - I can teach DS about what I believe, and so can DH, and DS will choose for himself. Also, I won't have to drag a teenager to church - either he'll want to be there or he won't.

Where do you go to church?  You would fit really well in with Holy Trinity in Georgetown.  It's my parish and I used to be a catechist for the RE program, specifically for the kids going through confirmation.  We tell them all the time that it is their decision not their parents and have fairly open dialogue about it.  Some kids definitely chose to back out each year.  I don't know where DC metro you are, but if Georgetown is not too much of a hike, I suggest checking it out.  We still drive 25-30 minutes there for service.    

Hey Jellisy:

We did, but we're fairly religious.  Some things in life are a little easier down the road if you are baptized as an infant in terms of getting married in a church as an adult as standing as a godparent for a friend's child.  I firmly believe you should follow your heart on this one, if it's not in baptism, at least in the Catholic church there are plenty of opportunities to "catch up" as you grow older.  I assume that's also true in other denominations.     

This generally describes us...plus my uncle/godfather is a priest and having him do both baptisms for both of our DDs was pretty special.  Both of our families are religious (mine more so than DH's), so I think it would have been a pretty big issue if we had not baptized the girls.  Of course if we (DH & I) weren't into it ourselves, we wouldn't have done it.

Also just on the topic of baptizing babies...I definitely don't believe that my kids would be shut out of heaven if they weren't baptized, but I have to say that experiencing both baptisms was a lot more meaningful and touching that I thought it would be.  I think for me it was just the act of formally welcoming my kids into a community that, while it clearly has its faults (I'm Catholic and there is plenty I disagree with in terms of church leadership), has been a really important part of my life.  What the girls choose to do later in regards to religion is clearly their choice, just as it will be with any number of other, non-religious things we do as parents between now and then.  

Not yet, but we will probably baptize DD and Baby #2 together.  We joined the Methodist church we were married in, so why not get them baptized there.  I was baptized at 34 in order to join the church.  We're not very religious, but it is a nice community.

  

tomandcourt:

bh2720:

nope, no baptism for our son. it's just something that is not important to us.

and to go off on a total tangent....even when I was religious, I've never understood the point of the actual baptism. I know that it's a symbolic profession of faith, but it just seems silly (especially since I was raised baptist and you would literally get dunked, in this weird bathtub thing up behind the choir loft in our sanctuary...weird). so baptizing babies seems even sillier. if you believe in god or some higher power, it's not like god isn't going to bless or watch over a baby that didn't get baptized. I have no issue with people who do this (both of my sister had their children baptized), I just don't understand it.

I *think* the reason is because some people believe in the heaven/hell concept, and also believe that if a baby isn't baptized he or she will not go to heaven if they die; they'll go to limbo. I personally do not believe that, so the baptism for me would be more symbolic than anything.

yes, I've heard that. after a friend of mine had her baby, some old lady from her church (catholic) scolded her for taking the baby out in public before she had been baptized because if she died she would go to hell. and that's what I can't comprehend. how can anyone who believes in the compassionate god described in the new testament actually believe that he would condemn any baby to hell for any reason.

and I should have said earlier that I do understand baby dedications--where the parents basically introduce the baby to the church and they publicly commit to raising the baby in a christian way and the church, in turn, commits to supporting them. I think that's nice and, IMO, it's more logical than actually baptizing a baby who has no idea what's going on.

Nope. Baptism isn't a part of the faith I was raised in. DH is sort of a lapsed Presbyterian and we don't go to church except when visiting family. DH's parents are quite religious, but they have not made an issue out of it.  My parents would be shocked if we did baptise him since they know we don't go to church regularly. I have always figured that it is something my kid can do down the road if so inclined.

And Hey Jellisy, we live very close to Holy Trinity.  Every Sunday when we go to the coffee shop just down the block I think how nice everyone going there looks.  I'm not a Catholic, but if I was, we'd go there for sure.  Maybe I should convert! :)

Nope. DH is a former Catholic, I'm nothing in particular. Neither of us are interested in organized religion, so there's really no point.

suecadence:

And Hey Jellisy, we live very close to Holy Trinity.  Every Sunday when we go to the coffee shop just down the block I think how nice everyone going there looks.  I'm not a Catholic, but if I was, we'd go there for sure.  Maybe I should convert! :)

You should stop by sometime for service.  There are quite a few non-Catholics who go as well.  The Jesuits are generally great preachers and as I sad, they are pretty liberal.  It's fun to celebrity spot at some services since the Biden's, Theresa Heinz Kerry, and quite a few other politicos attend pretty regularly (never the Kennedy's though, although they are registered).  Each mass has it's own "community" since the church has about 10,000 parishioners (boggles my mind that it is bigger then my hometown).  The 9am (9:30 in summer) is the family liturgy (there are two running simultaneously) - the one in the theater is out of control kid madness and sometimes they use puppets during the homily, the church is also full of kids but generally better behaved.  The 11:30 is the more formal "Catholic" worship.  I love 5:30 Sunday evening best but it no longer works with DD's schedule.  The other three services 5:30 Sat, 7:30 a.m. Sunday and 1:15 pm Sunday don't have full choirs and tend to be shorter services.

Ah Saxby's, between you and the Tombs I have whiled away many a Sunday over the last decade...      

I am not Catholic but got married at Holy Trinity.  DH is and so we joined the community.  As a non-religious person I really enjoyed the parish.  Now that we live in MD we no longer go but I do recommend it for the fairly-liberal lapsed Catholic-types that want to get re-involved.

Also, we baptized DS Catholic and have a great set of godparents.  Even though I am not religious I am open to DS learning about it and we can discuss what it all means as a family.

We did have baby baptized, but we also attend Catholic mass very regularly.  While it's important to me to instill my faith in my children, I do have secular reason for baby baptisms too.  In my family, you invite everyone to the baptism to as a welcome-to-the-world party.  It was the first time many of our extended family and several friends meet baby girl.  

With the "no-visitors" swine flu policy this winter, it was really convenient to invite everyone over at the same time rather than plan out schedules.

eeclem:

Nope. DH is a former Catholic, I'm nothing in particular. Neither of us are interested in organized religion, so there's really no point.

This exactly word for word.

We are Baptist (of the moderate type - no Southern Baptist for us) and children in our denomination typically get baptised when they say they are ready to make their public profession of faith.  I was baptised when I was 4 and DH when he was 9, I believe. 

Pretty much, it's up to Bambino when he's ready.  

Our church does do a baby dedication every Mother's Day, basically just recognizing all the babies born in the last year and kind of like a welcoming into the congregation. 

We had our son baptized.  Both my husband and I were raised Catholic but we both struggle with a lot of aspects of the faith- I guess in some ways we did it because it was important to both of our families. 

Re: limbo for unbaptized babies- my understanding is that this is an old teaching that the Church doesn't abide by anymore.  A good thing too because I think that the idea is ridiculous 

 

No.  I was raised Catholic and DH was raised Lutheran.  We both consider ourselves atheists at this point though.  We chose not to baptize b/c it seemed kind of hypocritical.  We would have only been doing it to appease family.  I also feel that it leaves DS with the option of choosing his own path at a later age.  If he wants to become Christian at some point, we certainly wouldn't oppose it.

My ILs have asked about it a few times, but I finally told my MIL that last part of the paragraph above and she accepted it.

Yes, I am Lutheran and my dh is Baptist. But we baptized ds in the Lutheran church because I attend and practice and dh doesn't really. No one in our families put any pressure. We did it when ds was 8 mos which is late but I wanted my mom to attend the service.

We are baptizing Brooks in October, but (and I'm going down for this one) only for tradition's sake. He will be the fourth generation to wear my grandfather's gown, which my great-grandmother hand stitched. My best friend is his god-father and the same friend's mom is an Episcopal minister (I"m Episcopalian) wukk perform the tradition for us. She's known me for almost 30 years, so I think that this will be very special.

We baptized DS at 2 months in the catholic Church.  We plan on raising him Catholic so it was a no brainer for us.

We baptized DS when he was 4ish months old.  We aren't super-religious, but it is a big family tradition (the gown he was baptized in was worn by all of my family and I wanted him to be apart of that).  We had the Episcopal minister who married us preform the ceremony.  we were able to have a private family only ceremony on a saturday.  

LO hasn't been born yet, but we have no plans for baptism or any other religious ceremony.  I was raised Catholic, but it's not for me at all.  DH was raised Jewish, but also doesn't practice or hold any ties to the religion.  Neither of us are comfortable with organized religion, so we see no point in raising our child(ren) in a religious manner.

Yes, we baptised our son.  My husband was raised Catholic but hasn't attended mass since high school probably.  I'm Lutheran and attend church regularly, so it was an obvious decision for us.  You have to do what you feel is right.