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09-25-2011 at 10:25 PM
badkins90
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Comebacks for people who don't like your baby name

Me & my husband are having MAJOR problems out of our families & other people for our baby name! We picked Julian but chose to spell it differently, my husband really loves it because he chose it and I love it because its is just charming to me and I love the way my husband looks when he tells people the name and says he picked it! But we are getting very rude feedback the most popular seems to be that it is a sissy name and he will be gay when he grows up and children will pick on him for this name when in my opinion I think it is actually a very normal name! Its even gotten so bad that when I log on my facebook I have several messages from different people with their own baby name list with names that are "similar" I am not the kind of person that will change something just because other people don't like it, I have tried the "please stop", "you can name a baby when you have your own", 'your being rude", etc but these don't seem to deter people and mommy brain has the best of me and I can't think of anything. PLEASE HELP!

**BTW I do not care if anyone thinks that I should stick to the traditional spelling it will not make it difficult nor longer it is a simple change and NO that is not why my & my husbands family hates it so please unless you are leaving something nice to say or a comeback don't post that you think I should leave it alone this all goes back to it being my baby.  For everyone else who has posted encouraging things and other things to help me I thank you so much =)


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09-25-2011 at 10:32 PM
jonnygurl7...
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this is why you don't tell anyone what LO's name is until they are born.

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09-25-2011 at 10:33 PM
Kyle523Nic...
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Wow, it sounds to me like these people aren't very good friends to have!  As for your family, I'm suprised that they've crossed such a line.

If I were you, I would stop talking about the name.  Ignore your friends/family when they try to send you messages, and change the subject when they bring it up in person.  When someone asks you what you've chosen - say you don't know yet.  

Really, the name is a personal decision.  Anyone else's opinion doesn't mean squat, so you shouldn't give them the benefit of knowing that it affects you.  When the baby is born, name it what you want.  People won't have a choice but to stop harassing you about it by then because what's done is done.


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09-25-2011 at 10:34 PM
danlexi04
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If you love it, who cares what people think. Honestly, I'm dying to know how you've decided to spell Julian.

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09-25-2011 at 10:35 PM
badkins90
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I definitely won't tell if we have anymore! I guess since everyone loved our DD's name I never thought that I would get this reaction! Especially from my family! Strangers and his family doesn't bother me but I really thought mine would have more respect! ughs!

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09-25-2011 at 10:38 PM
badkins90
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danlexi04:
If you love it, who cares what people think. Honestly, I'm dying to know how you've decided to spell Julian.

That one is definitely a secret =D


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09-25-2011 at 10:42 PM
jenimitch
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If you are really trying to make a point, you could try "interesting that you would say that, do you ever wonder if someone said that to your parents when they chose your name"... Otherwise, try to let it go, your child will sense the love and pride you have in his name when you say it, and that is what matters.

 
09-25-2011 at 11:09 PM
penguinem
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We are having a similar issue. I just tell my family that once they meet him, they will love him and he will own the name. Last time I checked people didn't form personalities based on their name.

Also, I LOVE the name Julian. It's NOT a sissy name at all, and you can spell it however you want. :)


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09-25-2011 at 11:10 PM
Annya26
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Honestly, my family wasn't thrilled with my name choice at first, but as soon as I made it clear that I was set on it they backed off and got behind me on it. I think that whom ever is making these comments is being incredibly immature and disrespectful. Your child, your right to pick the name. Also the idea that your child's name could make them gay is ridiculous, and personally I don't care if my kid is gay. I will love him regardless so I think that is a silly point for them to even make. 

As far as getting them to stop I would express that they are making you feel like garbage and it is completely disrespectful. If that doesn't work, just stop telling people the name altogether. Hopefully they will get that they are being jerks!


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09-25-2011 at 11:30 PM
nicolealex...
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its your baby and who cares what people think of the name.screw them

M/C October 25th 2010.Its been a year since we said goodbye

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09-25-2011 at 11:51 PM
gekeler6
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We were joking around and I told some people we were naming our kid a name that I knew people would hate, that way when we really tell them what we picked it will sound better than the first name:)  I'm super evil!!!!!

 We decided on Evan James for a boy and Evelyn Grace for a girl.  I don't care what people think, we picked these names out the same week we found out we were having a baby.  I don't think these names are crazy or sound horrible, but of course that's my opinion.  We still like the names and have only gotten positive comments.  Its your child and you will be the one calling your childs name a lot.  I didn't like my sisters pick but its not my baby.  I think your name you have picked out is great!  I don't think its anything outragious or odd.


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09-26-2011 at 12:22 AM
Excited30
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I guess I kinda decided not to tell ANYONE my LO's possible names.  I am very sensitive and don't think that I would do well with people dissin' my choice.  It wouldn't make me change my mind, however it would bother me a lot.  Also, I don't think that people are that vocal about it to your face once your baby's here and named.  They might question or comment on your name choice, but most people have the decency to at least be discrete about it.  They'd be too interested in the new baby to care too much about the name.  

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09-26-2011 at 12:30 AM
treble_cle...
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Ignore, ignore, ignore.  If you love the name, who cares about what other people say.  

Most of my son's preschool classmates have very unique names.  It's actually hard to find kids with old fashioned names.  My son's name is classic, but very rare in this country.  Some people said he'll be picked on at school or whatever, but I love it, and I get a lot of compliments too.  

I always think the most important thing is to raise my son to be a good person.  I'm certainly not going to raise my kids to be someone who make fun of other people's names.  


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09-26-2011 at 1:00 AM
kiarstin
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all you can do is ignore it... However I don't if I choose a name and enough people hate it, I kinda figure my poor kid has a shitty name.  I love unique names I hate "unique spelling " but there were also people that hated my names too.  Kinda gotta have tough skin and hope your kid has tough skin too

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09-26-2011 at 2:52 AM
corbinsmin...
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I am having a similar situation! My family is praticular hated all of our names, and of course my dad likes to think hes a traditionalist. So he kept on "suggesting" names but more like telling us. Every name we liked he had something against it. Finally we picked with our favorite Jacob, They hate it bc I have have a really nerdy cousin thats name is Zachary and everyone calls jake, who will be nothing like my child ( two completly different parents). I have gotten to the point when people comment on it I simpily say honestly I dont care, you have had a chance to name your children, this is mine, and get over it... lol Seems to have work. Good luch and I agree its a very frustrating situation having people make disagreements about your baby name.
 
09-26-2011 at 7:43 AM
sunnyday01...
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Well, I love the name Julian but I think spelling it any differently is only going to cause him headaches. 

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09-26-2011 at 8:01 AM
lulling
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That is why we are not telling anyone until the birth certificate is signed!  I just wanted to let you know that I love the name Julian.

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09-26-2011 at 8:13 AM
StephCripp...
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Samuel Jackson played the character Jules.. (I'm sure sort for Jullian)

and no body could call that guy sissy or gay

:)

he even had a wallet that said he was a bad mother **&3 :)

 

I don't know how much that helps .. but at least you can say hey this Jules was not a sisssy


 
09-26-2011 at 8:13 AM
Stephchern
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YesYesYes

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09-26-2011 at 8:35 AM
NoodleM
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sunnyday016:
Well, I love the name Julian but I think spelling it any differently is only going to cause him headaches. 

 

I agree with the above.

If they are picking on the name just because it's Julian, then they are being immature. But if it is because you decided to spell it a 'uneek' way, then I can see why they may be criticizing your choice.

Purposely misspelling your childs name will make it hard on your child as they grow up, they will have to constantly correct people. The name is great if you stick to the traditional spelling.


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09-26-2011 at 8:40 AM
salt78
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badkins90:
the most popular seems to be that it is a sissy name and he will be gay when he grows up

The problem isn't the name you picked. It's the narrow minded and obviously extremely homophobic a-holes that you are surrounded by. 

ETA: FTR I agree with PPs who think that you should just spell it the normal way rather than trying to be uneek about it. I would say that to anyone who butchered an otherwise nice, normal name though.




 
09-26-2011 at 8:56 AM
shouldbwor...
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"Well, it's a good thing this isn't your baby then."  B/c really, who cares what they think ... it's not their baby. 

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09-26-2011 at 9:02 AM
KatelynEA9...
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You could try telling people you're considering other things if you wanted and then just named him Julian anyways. Once he's named, they'll all have to suck it up anyways.

That's terribly rude of them and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

I had a few people dislike my name and I told them it's my child and her father and I will be the ones to name her. Whatever we choose, goes. They are entitled to their opinions but they either already named their own children or they will in the future. 


 
09-26-2011 at 9:19 AM
balihaigir...
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NoodleM:

sunnyday016:
Well, I love the name Julian but I think spelling it any differently is only going to cause him headaches. 

 

I agree with the above.

If they are picking on the name just because it's Julian, then they are being immature. But if it is because you decided to spell it a 'uneek' way, then I can see why they may be criticizing your choice.

Purposely misspelling your childs name will make it hard on your child as they grow up, they will have to constantly correct people. The name is great if you stick to the traditional spelling.

EXACTLY this.  It's a great name, it doesn't need a "uneek" spelling.


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09-26-2011 at 9:20 AM
Kristinmo
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sunnyday016:
Well, I love the name Julian but I think spelling it any differently is only going to cause him headaches. 

This.  Please use the traditional spelling. I have a very slight variation in the speeling of my name (but still VERY common) and it annoys me because it is always spelled incorrectly.

That being said, we don't tell anyone names until after LO comes.


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09-26-2011 at 9:27 AM
mhollidaye...
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Julian is a very normal name.  My first boyfriend's name is Julian and he is far from gay.  LOL.  What you name your child is your business.  The one person that I have told the names we have picked out hates both of them...and I dont really care.  My DH and I both like them and that's all that really matters.  That being said we arent telling anyone else the names until after the baby has been born and named. 

I would post a message to whoever keeps saying rude things pretty much saying they are entitled to their opinion and since its your child you are entitled to like whatever name you like, and you aren't interested in anyone else's thoughts and tell people to stop sending you list of names they like (because some of those you think are absolutely horrible and would never consider naming your child that)  and be done with it.


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09-26-2011 at 9:30 AM
Ya Never K...
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Oh for the love of... People are just so stupid. ANY name can be made fun of, no matter what it is, and for people to say that a name is what will determine the future sexual preference of your child just goes to show how immature those people are. If someone said that to me (Julian ending up gay part), I would tell them to grow up.

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09-26-2011 at 9:33 AM
Ya Never K...
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Kristinmo:

sunnyday016:
Well, I love the name Julian but I think spelling it any differently is only going to cause him headaches. 

This.  Please use the traditional spelling. I have a very slight variation in the speeling of my name (but still VERY common) and it annoys me because it is always spelled incorrectly.

That being said, we don't tell anyone names until after LO comes.

What is the spelling you were intending on using? I've seen Julian also spelled Giulian, and I'm fairly certain that is also a traditional way of spelling it in different countries.


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09-26-2011 at 9:59 AM
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My daughter has a traditional male name with a traditional female middle name. Before she was born, my mother insisted she would never call her by her name, and would call her Sophia or Maxine instead. I told her she wouldn't end up seeing her at all if she did that. :) I had to remind her that I get naming rights to the things that come out of my vag.

No one has said anything to us about it since she was born (except thinking records are wrong and she's really a boy, but we knew we would have to deal with that). Her name fits her perfectly, and I can't imagine having named her anything else, despite the opposition we got while I was pregnant with her.

 


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09-26-2011 at 10:09 AM
badkins90
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StephCripps:

Samuel Jackson played the character Jules.. (I'm sure sort for Jullian)

and no body could call that guy sissy or gay

:)

he even had a wallet that said he was a bad mother **&3 :)

 

I don't know how much that helps .. but at least you can say hey this Jules was not a sisssy

This just brightened my day! 


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