Some women are very comfortable with breastfeeding in front of people and she probably didn't think anything of it. I would let it go and if you are put in a similar situation then say something. Tell her she made people feel uncomfortable the last time she did it and would she mind either doing it in another room (offer to keep her company maybe) or would she like something to cover up with so there won't be any boob exposure. They make things now that cover you up really well, I am surprised she doesn't have one of those.

I know my BF got me mad one day when she changed a poopy diaper on my kitchen table.....gross. I never said anything but the next time she goes to do it I will.

Dude, changing a sh!tty diaper on a table =/= breastfeeding. 

I gather a few things from the OP.

1. That you may not be entirely okay with BF, otherwise, why would it have bothered you? If it was bothering your guests, and it didn't bother you, then you may have been more inclined to say "Well it's my house, it's no big deal" and left it at that.

2. Something tells me that you are exaggerating the scenario greatly. 

I say #2 because no BF mother I have ever been around just takes her top off and exposes herself like that. Unless they are merely weeks after giving birth and are still learning how to BF. It is common for a BF mom to feel both breasts to remind herself which side baby is due to feed on, but taking her clothes off in a room full of people and looking at them?

BF takes practice. Sometimes babies pop off and mom is caught off guard. It's more important to catch baby and catch any spit up than it is to worry about a little nip exposure. 

I think there are 2 ways to handle this in the future. One, distract your guests, however immature they may be, with a game, a gathering outside, or with a television show. 

or two, offer her a blanket to cover with. 

or three, make new friends. Honestly, being "horrified" and "gawking". Really? Are you friends with a bunch of junior high kids or something?

What is "normal" varies from mother to mother. Some women have no issues BF in a room full of people. Others will do so discreetly, under a cover, and some will leave the room. 

All in all, it's just a breast. It's a baby who needs to eat. It's a new mother trying to learn the very overwhelming task of BF and tending to her baby's needs. Therefore, she needs your support, not your judgement or your "concern" over what your friends think. Because, honestly, if it truly didn't bother you, why would you be the one to say something to her?

 

PunkyBooster:

or three, make new friends. Honestly, being "horrified" and "gawking". Really? Are you friends with a bunch of junior high kids or something?

What is "normal" varies from mother to mother. Some women have no issues BF in a room full of people. Others will do so discreetly, under a cover, and some will leave the room. 

All in all, it's just a breast. It's a baby who needs to eat. It's a new mother trying to learn the very overwhelming task of BF and tending to her baby's needs. Therefore, she needs your support, not your judgement or your "concern" over what your friends think. Because, honestly, if it truly didn't bother you, why would you be the one to say something to her?

 

 

All this. 

kellybug80:

PunkyBooster:

or three, make new friends. Honestly, being "horrified" and "gawking". Really? Are you friends with a bunch of junior high kids or something?

What is "normal" varies from mother to mother. Some women have no issues BF in a room full of people. Others will do so discreetly, under a cover, and some will leave the room. 

All in all, it's just a breast. It's a baby who needs to eat. It's a new mother trying to learn the very overwhelming task of BF and tending to her baby's needs. Therefore, she needs your support, not your judgement or your "concern" over what your friends think. Because, honestly, if it truly didn't bother you, why would you be the one to say something to her?

 

 

All this. 

Yes, yes, yes.

This is how I feel....  In our society breasts and other "private parts" are..well, private!  Breastfeeding is a natural thing in life, but so is going to the bathroom, but we all don't whip down our pants and start peeing in front of each other, do we?  I think breastfeeding should be done in a discreet manner.  If we lived in a society where it was normal to walk around topless or naked then yes, go for it and don't even blink.  But otherwise there should be some form of warning, especially around those who you do not know so well.  People should not have a problem with it but it is polite to ask first and not make people who are not used to it uncomfortable so they have fair warning. 

helpfulmama:

This is how I feel....  In our society breasts and other "private parts" are..well, private!  Breastfeeding is a natural thing in life, but so is going to the bathroom, but we all don't whip down our pants and start peeing in front of each other, do we?  I think breastfeeding should be done in a discreet manner.  If we lived in a society where it was normal to walk around topless or naked then yes, go for it and don't even blink.  But otherwise there should be some form of warning, especially around those who you do not know so well.  People should not have a problem with it but it is polite to ask first and not make people who are not used to it uncomfortable so they have fair warning. 

So you equate pissing with breastfeeding?

Really? 

I do not expect my BF friends to "ask" my permission to go take a piss somewhere. And I most certainly do not expect them to "ask" my permission to feed their infant- whether it's with a bottle or a breast.

JFC. 

 

I would be horrified if some of my friends were "gawking" at a breastfeeding mother.  I don't understand why this is something to gawk at. 

 

Breasts are not genitals, because they are not part of the reproductive system.  Scientifically speaking, breasts are erogenous zones--that is, an area of heightened sensitivity that can be stimulated to achieve sexual arousal.  Genitals, since their primary functions are sexual, are legally considered obscene and cannot be shown in public.  Erogenous zones are not primarily sexual and thus are not obscene. Mouths, necks, and fingertips, are also erogenous zones frequently used for sexual arousal; however, like breasts, their primary biological functions are not sexual.  They become sexual or non-sexual in the context of how they are used.  Using your mouth for oral sex or to give a hickey is sexual.  Using your mouth to eat or breathe with is not.  Likewise, stimulating your nipples or using your breasts for "mammary intercourse" is sexual.  Feeding a child is not.

Urination and defecation in public are banned for two reasons: because feces and urine are unsanitary and because the act of urination or defecation require the genital area to be exposed.  Breast milk is not unsanitary, nor does breastfeeding expose any genitals.  Thus, the reasons for banning public urination/defecation don't apply to breastfeeding.

boobietimeblog:

Breasts are not genitals, because they are not part of the reproductive system.  Scientifically speaking, breasts are erogenous zones--that is, an area of heightened sensitivity that can be stimulated to achieve sexual arousal.  Genitals, since their primary functions are sexual, are legally considered obscene and cannot be shown in public.  Erogenous zones are not primarily sexual and thus are not obscene. Mouths, necks, and fingertips, are also erogenous zones frequently used for sexual arousal; however, like breasts, their primary biological functions are not sexual.  They become sexual or non-sexual in the context of how they are used.  Using your mouth for oral sex or to give a hickey is sexual.  Using your mouth to eat or breathe with is not.  Likewise, stimulating your nipples or using your breasts for "mammary intercourse" is sexual.  Feeding a child is not.

Urination and defecation in public are banned for two reasons: because feces and urine are unsanitary and because the act of urination or defecation require the genital area to be exposed.  Breast milk is not unsanitary, nor does breastfeeding expose any genitals.  Thus, the reasons for banning public urination/defecation don't apply to breastfeeding.

Wurd. 

helpfulmama:

This is how I feel....  In our society breasts and other "private parts" are..well, private!  Breastfeeding is a natural thing in life, but so is going to the bathroom, but we all don't whip down our pants and start peeing in front of each other, do we?  I think breastfeeding should be done in a discreet manner.  If we lived in a society where it was normal to walk around topless or naked then yes, go for it and don't even blink.  But otherwise there should be some form of warning, especially around those who you do not know so well.  People should not have a problem with it but it is polite to ask first and not make people who are not used to it uncomfortable so they have fair warning. 

 

02-11-2012

 

PunkyBooster:

Dude, changing a sh!tty diaper on a table =/= breastfeeding. 

I gather a few things from the OP.

1. That you may not be entirely okay with BF, otherwise, why would it have bothered you? If it was bothering your guests, and it didn't bother you, then you may have been more inclined to say "Well it's my house, it's no big deal" and left it at that.

2. Something tells me that you are exaggerating the scenario greatly. 

I say #2 because no BF mother I have ever been around just takes her top off and exposes herself like that. Unless they are merely weeks after giving birth and are still learning how to BF. It is common for a BF mom to feel both breasts to remind herself which side baby is due to feed on, but taking her clothes off in a room full of people and looking at them?

BF takes practice. Sometimes babies pop off and mom is caught off guard. It's more important to catch baby and catch any spit up than it is to worry about a little nip exposure. 

I think there are 2 ways to handle this in the future. One, distract your guests, however immature they may be, with a game, a gathering outside, or with a television show. 

or two, offer her a blanket to cover with. 

or three, make new friends. Honestly, being "horrified" and "gawking". Really? Are you friends with a bunch of junior high kids or something?

What is "normal" varies from mother to mother. Some women have no issues BF in a room full of people. Others will do so discreetly, under a cover, and some will leave the room. 

All in all, it's just a breast. It's a baby who needs to eat. It's a new mother trying to learn the very overwhelming task of BF and tending to her baby's needs. Therefore, she needs your support, not your judgement or your "concern" over what your friends think. Because, honestly, if it truly didn't bother you, why would you be the one to say something to her?

 

 

Exactly its breastfeeding get over it!  If those boobs were in a bikini no one would say a word!  but put a baby there and people get all bent out of shape..  its boobs get over it let a baby eat in peace!

 

helpfulmama:

Breastfeeding is a natural thing in life, but so is going to the bathroom, but we all don't whip down our pants and start peeing in front of each other, do we?  I think breastfeeding should be done in a discreet manner. 

Is this real life? 

OK i'll just remember that..u girls are all demented.  You are the ones that don't shave your legs and think the world should be one big orgy.  I'll remember that boobies are to be thrown around when your son or daughter has their sweet 16 party..i'll be the one showing up topless...lets see how "non-erogenous" you think it is and not disturbing when they all turn red.  And lets not say "that's not fair, you are not breastfeeding" point is she whipped her boobs out and didn't even attempt to do it in a discreet manner.  I hate you people that think that boobs have all and any right to just be hanging all over the place because you are a mom and you have the right.  Just the the f up and get over yourselves and put those monkey breasts away so people dont barf,

Oh and Punky..I didnt say that one should "ask permission" to feed their child...I said "fair warning to those around that may feel uncomfortable with the situation"..ie..men.  Dont give me a lesson on anatomy and what is sexual or not.  If breats were not sexual then there would not be topless bars for mens pleasure.  She was not taking them out to evoke pleasure for the men but especially if you are in front of a huge crowd of people you do not know it would probably be wise to just err on the side of caution and either a) ask for a towel or blanket to cover a bit b) go to another room or c) say i dont give a flying f**k what you guys think because i'm doing it right here but i'm going to be breastfeeding if you care not to see then leave.  I'd go with a or b, but i'm normal and not looking for trouble or to cause a scene, or snark.  Which people who are like, platinum posters I think are looking for...and no wonder their boobies are not erogenous, they should be off the computer and put to use but someone must not be getting any so has to sink their whole life in front of a computer and be a complete looney.  Sad.  :-(

personally, I would've put on my Hooter Hider or gone into another room but some people are extremely comfortable doing as your friend did.  If the opportunity strikes again, you could offer her a room to nurse in....but as for going back and commenting on what she did, I'd leave it.

helpfulmama:

Oh and Punky..I didnt say that one should "ask permission" to feed their child...I said "fair warning to those around that may feel uncomfortable with the situation"..ie..men.  Dont give me a lesson on anatomy and what is sexual or not.  If breats were not sexual then there would not be topless bars for mens pleasure.  She was not taking them out to evoke pleasure for the men but especially if you are in front of a huge crowd of people you do not know it would probably be wise to just err on the side of caution and either a) ask for a towel or blanket to cover a bit b) go to another room or c) say i dont give a flying f**k what you guys think because i'm doing it right here but i'm going to be breastfeeding if you care not to see then leave.  I'd go with a or b, but i'm normal and not looking for trouble or to cause a scene, or snark.  Which people who are like, platinum posters I think are looking for...and no wonder their boobies are not erogenous, they should be off the computer and put to use but someone must not be getting any so has to sink their whole life in front of a computer and be a complete looney.  Sad.  :-(

Really? Because I see the words right here. 

helpfulmama:

ask first

Did you mis-speak?

And you clearly do give a flying f*ck what others think, why else would you fly off the handle over something so small on a forum?

Really, the only one who looks looney in this post is you. 

PunkyBooster:

helpfulmama:

Oh and Punky..I didnt say that one should "ask permission" to feed their child...I said "fair warning to those around that may feel uncomfortable with the situation"..ie..men.  Dont give me a lesson on anatomy and what is sexual or not.  If breats were not sexual then there would not be topless bars for mens pleasure.  She was not taking them out to evoke pleasure for the men but especially if you are in front of a huge crowd of people you do not know it would probably be wise to just err on the side of caution and either a) ask for a towel or blanket to cover a bit b) go to another room or c) say i dont give a flying f**k what you guys think because i'm doing it right here but i'm going to be breastfeeding if you care not to see then leave.  I'd go with a or b, but i'm normal and not looking for trouble or to cause a scene, or snark.  Which people who are like, platinum posters I think are looking for...and no wonder their boobies are not erogenous, they should be off the computer and put to use but someone must not be getting any so has to sink their whole life in front of a computer and be a complete looney.  Sad.  :-(

Really? Because I see the words right here. 

helpfulmama:

ask first

Did you mis-speak?

And you clearly do give a flying f*ck what others think, why else would you fly off the handle over something so small on a forum?

Really, the only one who looks looney in this post is you. 

WHATTT?????  Ha ha ha.  Is this real? 

helpfulmama:

Oh and Punky..I didnt say that one should "ask permission" to feed their child...I said "fair warning to those around that may feel uncomfortable with the situation"..ie..men.  Dont give me a lesson on anatomy and what is sexual or not.  If breats were not sexual then there would not be topless bars for mens pleasure.  She was not taking them out to evoke pleasure for the men but especially if you are in front of a huge crowd of people you do not know it would probably be wise to just err on the side of caution and either a) ask for a towel or blanket to cover a bit b) go to another room or c) say i dont give a flying f**k what you guys think because i'm doing it right here but i'm going to be breastfeeding if you care not to see then leave.  I'd go with a or b, but i'm normal and not looking for trouble or to cause a scene, or snark.  Which people who are like, platinum posters I think are looking for...and no wonder their boobies are not erogenous, they should be off the computer and put to use but someone must not be getting any so has to sink their whole life in front of a computer and be a complete looney.  Sad.  :-(

Oh, helpfulmama, you are so crazycakes. You should stick around to make this board a little more interesting.

Breastfeeding is not sexual and if it makes someone uncomfortable, that is their own problem.

You should put a tad more thought in to your arguments. If you are truly interested in arguing that it's inappropriate to bf publicly, then go right ahead and try to make your point. However, when you do it in the same run-on paragraph as your argument that platinum posters = celibate, you should realize that no one is going to take you seriously.

But, like I said, I would genuinely love for you to stick around. 

helpfulmama:

Just the the f up and get over yourselves and put those monkey breasts away so people dont barf,

I <3 my monkey breasts.  

mesa81:

helpfulmama:

Just the the f up and get over yourselves and put those monkey breasts away so people dont barf,

I <3 my monkey breasts.  

Don't put your monkey breasts away until after the orgy!

But... wait... I thought no one was having sex because of all the time spent posting here? But the whole world is an orgy?

I'm confused. I need to go comb my leg hair. 

LadyExtravaganza:

mesa81:

helpfulmama:

Just the the f up and get over yourselves and put those monkey breasts away so people dont barf,

I <3 my monkey breasts.  

Don't put your monkey breasts away until after the orgy!

But... wait... I thought no one was having sex because of all the time spent posting here? But the whole world is an orgy?

I'm confused. I need to go comb my leg hair. 

I totally have monkey breasts right now...or at least how I imagine monkey breasts to be.   GIANT Milk filled Monkey breasts.  Ha ha ha.  

Congrats ladies! it only took a few years for this board to finally have some drama!  

my 2 cents:  yes, gawking at someone breastfeeding is very immature but gawking at someone sitting on a coach in the middle of a childs birthday party w/ no shirt on is a bit different.  if that is really what went down, that is pretty weird of that mom to do.  I NIP all the time but i use a cover.  not for anyone else's comfort level, but my own.  no one needs to see my giant monkey boobs/nipples.  plus my girl nurses better when she's not as distracted and the cover helps that.   

LittleTalk has yet to come back to respond.

MUD?

Did we scare her off? Oh noes. 

Am i LittleTalk or is that someone else?  No, not scared, just not on here every moment of my waking life.  Just over here laughing my a$$ off.  I'm glad I made some people's day.  I'm not a mean person, nor do I like drama.  But I do have a lot of irish in me, and we can get riled up from time to time.

helpfulmama:

Am i LittleTalk or is that someone else?  No, not scared, just not on here every moment of my waking life.  Just over here laughing my a$$ off.  I'm glad I made some people's day.  I'm not a mean person, nor do I like drama.  But I do have a lot of irish in me, and we can get riled up from time to time.

Littletalk is the OP....

Everything about your posts is polar opposite of your claim that you do not like drama. 

helpfulmama:

Am i LittleTalk or is that someone else?  No, not scared, just not on here every moment of my waking life.  Just over here laughing my a$$ off.  I'm glad I made some people's day.  I'm not a mean person, nor do I like drama.  But I do have a lot of irish in me, and we can get riled up from time to time.

I never said you like drama, but I certainly do because it's entertaining. Feel free to get riled up whenever you want.

zomg, this thread is comedy GOLD!

helpfulmama - I nurse my toddler in public without a cover. THE HORROR, right?

jCamsquared:

zomg, this thread is comedy GOLD!

helpfulmama - I nurse my toddler in public without a cover. THE HORROR, right?

Yay!  I missed you!   

I want to ask a genuine question or two.  The last time I posted in one of these threads, I was bored and acted an ass, just because I could.  I'm honestly trying to see things from your point of view.  So you know where I'm coming from, my current feelings are nurse in public all you want, but at least attempt to be discreet.  (as in use a cover whenever possible, especially in mixed company.)

Is there a legitimate reason she needed to lift her shirt up before she decided which boob to use?

How hard would it have been to step into another room, to get started and then rejoin the other adults once the baby was on the boob? Is it hard to get started while standing? I understand it would have been considerably harder to sit down, get started and then stand up without the baby losing it's latch.  I'm just wondering if she could have stepped into the kitchen, got the baby going and then returned, when the unused boob, was recovered by a her shirt, and her used boob was covered by her baby.

I don't get the "hate " on all the people who couldn't help watching.  It's human nature to "gawk" at things you don't see regularly.  

Please understand I'm not judging her for meeting her baby's needs, or saying anything close to she should stay at home until the kid's weaned.

If it had been at her own house with only her own friends, or if it had been on her own in public, or if it had been just her and the OP, out in public.  But it just seems inconsiderate to me, to not consider her host's feelings, in the host's home.