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10-12-2012 at 7:52 AM
pithymeg
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Gender Reveal?

Hello!

So we get to find out the gender of our baby in one week!! :) I have decided for a few reasons that I want to know, but I haven't decided if I want everyone else to know (besides my husband). 

 While knowing will help us focus on a name and take away that awkward feeling of rearranging sentences to avoid calling my baby "it," I don't really want people to shower me with pink and blue things. My nursery/shower theme (Forest Animals), should help prevent that to a point, but others have said that if people know the gender they're less likely to get you the practical things on your registry and more likely to go for the cute gender specific clothes instead.

However, I don't know how good I will be at keeping it a secret or that I won't give it away on my registry anyway.

I've been through a TON of Gender reveals on pinterest and the general web, but many of them only work if you can get together with people, which is a problem since we live half a country away from most of our family and friends right now.

 I did come up with one idea though: Scratch Cards.
There is a site (I believe on etsy) that makes scratch cards for showers. They're supposed to be used as a game for the shower, but I was thinking that INSTEAD, I could request they make several scratch off points, kind of like a lotto game, and most of them will just say "It's a" and one will say "It's a girl" or "It's a boy" depending on the gender.

I love this idea and the suspense that would come with all the scratching, but I don't know when to do it. 

Should I send them out with the Shower Invites? Letting people know before the shower. 

Should I save them for the shower, introducing it like a game when it is really the gender reveal?

OR

Should I hold off entirely and just surprise everyone on Baby's birthday?

What are your thoughts?

Which one?

This looked fun. Which way should I reveal?
  • Send out Scratch Cards Gender Reveals with the Shower Invites (14.5%)
  • Give the Scratch Card Gender Reveals out at the Shower (53.9%)
  • Wait and surprise everyone on Baby's Birthday. (31.6%)
  • Total Votes: 76
 
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10-12-2012 at 8:16 AM
MelRC117
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I knew what I was having, and everyone else knew too by the time the shower came. Maybe because I was having a boy, I only received one item of clothing and it was a handknitted white sweater (so gender neutral anyways) from my DH's aunt.  On the other hand, I have heard for both sexes that people do alot of clothing if the know what the MTB is having.  At the end of the day, people will buy whatever they want.  If they want to do clothing, they will do clothing.  I don't know if this is normal, but my first reaction when I found out I was having a niece was to go out and buy her an outfit.  When I found out I was having a boy, I wanted to go out and buy him an outfit.  I would think that when people get the invite and have the excitement of finding out (although not as not nearly as much excitement as you have over the sex), they might be more inclined to get clothes.  It could be kind of fun revealing at the baby shower, so that is what I voted for.  It would be hard for you and DH and not let it slip, so I'm not sure if just you and DH knowing is realistic.  I know I would probably let a "he" or "she" slip.

Whatever you choose, don't let the fact that you don't want to be overwhelmed with clothes at your shower be your reasoning.
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10-12-2012 at 8:20 AM
EastCoastB...
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As just a fun thing to, doing at the shower would be fun.  I would get into the spirit of it - no question.  And I DO enjoy finding out the sex of friends babies.

But.... just be careful of your expectations on this.  I'm sure your immediate family and perhaps your close friends are really excited to find out what you're having.  But at the same time (as I've seen a lot on this forum and other forums) - a lot of people really don't care that much about the sex. 

Just in reading your post, you're placing a LOT on this idea of the 'suspense', and how only you and your DH will know, etc.  Even if others are excited to find out, no one else is going to be quite as invested as you are.

That's why I say be careful w/ your expectations.  And why I feel doing it at the shower is the best place.  It's a fun activity to do and an already baby centered event.  You don't need to draw it out past that.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

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10-12-2012 at 8:37 AM
Estwd2
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pithymeg:

I don't really want people to shower me with pink and blue things. My nursery/shower theme (Forest Animals), should help prevent that to a point, but others have said that if people know the gender they're less likely to get you the practical things on your registry and more likely to go for the cute gender specific clothes instead.

Saying this makes you sound like you're trying to finagle certain types of gifts at your shower. Some families generally don't buy from the registry and buy lots of clothes, like a lot of bumpies say on here. Some buy straight from the registry, like mine. Everyone is different. But it's important to remember that although you might get a lot of things you might not need or want at the shower, it's just a gift. You can return it or donate it if you don't want it. I don't think your decision to reveal the sex or not should have anything to do with what types of gifts you want or expect. So taking that out of the equation, it could be fun to do at the shower if you're willing to wait until then.
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10-12-2012 at 9:33 AM
pithymeg
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True.. I'm trying to be practical about it but I want it to be fun for everyone else too. :)
 
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10-12-2012 at 9:39 AM
daisy662
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I think you are overthinking it. We were team green, but I only got a couple onesies at my shower and no other clothes. People are going to buy what they are going to buy. Do the scratch off game whenever you want to and not to be blunt - but just remember, no one else is as excited about the sex of your baby as you are - so to everyone else, it doesn't really matter when you do it. So, do it when you want to. Cute idea though!
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10-12-2012 at 9:43 AM
pithymeg
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Yeah, the only reason I brought the gift thing up was cause I was on another forum on here about whether or not to reveal the baby's gender, and a lot of people seemed really concerned about it like it was "definitely" going to happen that if you say boy or girl all they're thinking is "pink or blue." Plus whenever I bring it up, it seems to be the first thing people tell me -- if you don't tell us the gender, shopping is going to be hard, or if you tell people the gender, they're only going to give you clothes.  So I added it into the equation.

This is our first and it's been awhile since I've been shopping for a baby shower, (though I usually aim for a toy) so I'm not really sure what I should weigh in or not.

 I do know that if I reveal, I want it to be fun and memorable, even if others don't really care (though that seems to be the only thing people are asking me lately).

But a friend of ours just had a little girl and they didn't tell anyone until the day, so they posted their first family pic from the hospital to Facebook and they were holding a hand written sign that said "It's a girl!" And my husband thought that was really cute.
 
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10-12-2012 at 9:52 AM
rhubarb123
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I voted for doing it at the shower.  It will give the guests something else to "do" and it will be fun, especially for those closest to you to find out the gender of the baby.  I always buy an outfit whether it is a boy, girl, or ?? (obvioulsy gender neutral for ??) so you will get clothes.  It has been my experience when attending showers (or hosting them) that people DO buy more clothes if they know the gender of the baby (especially girls).  Some people really like the idea of clothes but seriously you will get even more once your LO is born.  We didn't have a shower for our last two but I didn't even need to buy clothes because of all the gifts we got after they were born!  lol
 
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10-12-2012 at 9:52 AM
EastCoastB...
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pithymeg:

Yeah, the only reason I brought the gift thing up was cause I was on another forum on here about whether or not to reveal the baby's gender, and a lot of people seemed really concerned about it like it was "definitely" going to happen that if you say boy or girl all they're thinking is "pink or blue." Plus whenever I bring it up, it seems to be the first thing people tell me -- if you don't tell us the gender, shopping is going to be hard, or if you tell people the gender, they're only going to give you clothes.  So I added it into the equation.

It's still an individual thing. I almost always buy something from the registery.  *I* don't buy gender specific stuff unless it's on the registry.  Doesn't matter if I know ahead of time or not.

People who want to buy specific clothes are going to want to know.  If you have a lot of these people in your life, then perhaps it's best to not tell them until the shower itself or later.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin

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10-12-2012 at 10:04 AM
pithymeg
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Thanks for all the advice ladies!

 I think I will wait and reveal at the shower; for those close to me who care it will be exciting and for those who don't, it will just be something else to do. 

Besides, I want it to be fun and memorable and sharing it with everyone at once will accomplish that. :) 

I like the idea that someone else pointed out to that it gave them one last little pregnancy secret to share with their husband. 

As far as the gifts are concerned, in the end I don't really care what or how much I get, but I've never been a fan of overly girly or overly boyish baby things in general. I was at a shower once where someone gave the MTB a blue outfit and a pink outfit and a receipt so that she could keep the right one and return the wrong one, which I thought was odd.  I guess there is also this personal thing that my baby is my baby and I don't care which gender they end up being, so I don't want others to put too much stock into it either.

Keeping it a secret will be difficult but probably worth it. There are lots of close family and friends who are dying to know and ask me regularly when my appointment is.

 
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10-12-2012 at 2:10 PM
Jim&Jaime
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pithymeg:

I think I will wait and reveal at the shower; for those close to me who care it will be exciting and for those who don't, it will just be something else to do. 

It won't be exciting. It's interesting and fun, but it's not like they'll be scratching a lottery ticket. As a pp said, keep you expectations low. 
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10-14-2012 at 6:44 PM
Elsa1984
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If you are wanting a lot of suspense, either be Team Green or find out and tell no one. Our cousins led us to believe they were Team Green. Really, they already knew. They had a meet the baby shower after the baby was born so people could shop away. When their kid was two we all found out they had known the whole time. So when we were Team Green, the family thought we were lying and knew the whole time. Not the case. I hate pink and didn't want tons of it. But we didn't find out because we didn't care if it was a boy or girl, not to determine what gifts we got.

Don't do it based on gifts. A gift is a gift, and deciding on telling people or keeping quiet based on the gift giving....is just greedy.
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10-15-2012 at 10:29 AM
aeh72
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Estwd2:
pithymeg:

I don't really want people to shower me with pink and blue things. My nursery/shower theme (Forest Animals), should help prevent that to a point, but others have said that if people know the gender they're less likely to get you the practical things on your registry and more likely to go for the cute gender specific clothes instead.

Saying this makes you sound like you're trying to finagle certain types of gifts at your shower. Some families generally don't buy from the registry and buy lots of clothes, like a lot of bumpies say on here. Some buy straight from the registry, like mine. Everyone is different. But it's important to remember that although you might get a lot of things you might not need or want at the shower, it's just a gift. You can return it or donate it if you don't want it. I don't think your decision to reveal the sex or not should have anything to do with what types of gifts you want or expect. So taking that out of the equation, it could be fun to do at the shower if you're willing to wait until then.

This. 

I don't want to sound like a spoil sport, but no one really cares as much about the baby's sex as much as you and your family will care. Everyone will ooh and ahh - "oh a girl!" or "oh a boy!', but seriously, you'll get the same reaction to both.  Your idea is cute, but I don't think it should be a motivation for guiding people on the types of gifts you will get.  I had a moderately sized shower (about 20 people) and I got a mix of practical things from my registry and clothes and blankets that people just wanted to buy for DS.  Even the clothes/blankets that I may not have picked out myself ended up being so helpful to have in the end.  In fact, some of the best things I got from people were things I did not register for but instead were things other moms had found really useful.

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10-15-2012 at 1:32 PM
kellyb2011
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Scratch offs are super cute, but I wanted to get somewhat of a reaction from my friends and family that I knew I wouldn't be able to see reactions for. So, My husband and I made a video and posted it to facebook so our friends could comment. We got a little crazy. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvfPcFzKS-A&feature=plcp

 

 
 
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10-18-2012 at 4:38 PM
feffy11
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The scratch-offs seem like kind of an awkward shower game. And PPs are right; nobody REALLY cares about your baby's genitalia. People are expecting cake anyway, so reveal baby's sex with the cake. FWIW, we are Team Green, and received zero clothes at the shower, not even onesies.

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10-30-2012 at 6:30 PM
jwaldo4
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kellyb2011:

Scratch offs are super cute, but I wanted to get somewhat of a reaction from my friends and family that I knew I wouldn't be able to see reactions for. So, My husband and I made a video and posted it to facebook so our friends could comment. We got a little crazy. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvfPcFzKS-A&feature=plcp

 

Bahaha! LOVED IT!
 
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10-30-2012 at 6:30 PM
jwaldo4
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kellyb2011:

Scratch offs are super cute, but I wanted to get somewhat of a reaction from my friends and family that I knew I wouldn't be able to see reactions for. So, My husband and I made a video and posted it to facebook so our friends could comment. We got a little crazy. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvfPcFzKS-A&feature=plcp

 

Bahaha! LOVED IT!
 
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10-30-2012 at 6:30 PM
jwaldo4
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kellyb2011:

Scratch offs are super cute, but I wanted to get somewhat of a reaction from my friends and family that I knew I wouldn't be able to see reactions for. So, My husband and I made a video and posted it to facebook so our friends could comment. We got a little crazy. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvfPcFzKS-A&feature=plcp

 

Bahaha! LOVED IT!
 
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10-30-2012 at 6:30 PM
jwaldo4
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kellyb2011:

Scratch offs are super cute, but I wanted to get somewhat of a reaction from my friends and family that I knew I wouldn't be able to see reactions for. So, My husband and I made a video and posted it to facebook so our friends could comment. We got a little crazy. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvfPcFzKS-A&feature=plcp

 

Bahaha! LOVED IT!
 
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12-07-2012 at 7:43 AM
pithymeg
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We did find out and we did tell.

After I knew, I wanted to wait to tell everyone until the Baby was born, but my husband couldn't help himself, so before he could go blab, he gave me an hour to make a Gender Reveal video. I used a Dumbo clip and put it on Youtube.

 I'm super happy with my decision. In the end, as you all said, it was just a personal decision anyway. I am happy knowing and this way I get to tell people over and over and over again :)  They may not be super excited, but I'm excited about sharing the news. In the end telling them -- even when I was planning the scratch off's ect.-- was really more about my excitement about sharing the news than me thinking everyone "cared so much" about what I was having.  Certain people, like my mom and mil, cared about as much as I did.

 Really I don't care about the gift portion. I mean we're not big on super sporty stuff either, but baby shower gift giving is like anything else. I only brought it up earlier because everyone kept telling me to be concerned about it. 

 My friend wanted to do a Name reveal at my shower, but that I think I will wait on. People are way more opinionated about names than they are gender.

 
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